July 26, 2017
June 25, 2017
June 12, 2017
June 5, 2017
May 22, 2017
This time around John Howland talks Garrett, a Viking hoard and would yo believe tuna?
May 4, 2017
April 20, 2017
March 28, 2017
March 16, 2017
February 28, 2017
February 14, 2017
January 24, 2017
January 2, 2017
December 8, 2016
Many will I’m sure be relieved to know that this is my final write-up for 2016 (emergencies excepted) and I suspect many of my US readers will already be thoroughly pissed-off with ‘that bloody Limey’ (me) again pleading for the unification of US hobbyists to get organised at national level. I make no apology. There has to be people out there with the balls and fire of Roger Barbrick. There has to be people out who won’t take shit off anyone. Surely?
J.H., Bournemouth, UK
“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and under the rule of a just God, cannot long retain it.” Abraham Lincoln.
An apparatchik is a full time employee in any position of bureaucratic or political responsibility who served either in Communist Party structures or in the government.…
The importance of being an apparatchik (or worker bee)
“However, there were also some educated apparatchiks. They were university professors whose job was lecturing factory and collective farm workers on the advantages of Socialism. Most of them preferred to tell people about interesting things that the workers missed in their life. One of these apparatchiks said: “I’m pleased with my job because I’m giving people something they don’t have. And I see smiles on their faces. “Though the Soviet era is over, many apparatchiks have survived. They quietly transferred themselves to well-paid jobs and posts and prosper to this day. Nevertheless, their memory lives on, and apparatchik is still used to describe a person, who causes unnecessary trouble with a bureaucratic approach to work.”
When I first read this piece, for some reason I thought of UNESCO.
James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies. “Q’s just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties…”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
Bond tugs, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
There are certain people in the archaeo-blogosphere who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
Q: Why won’t sharks attack archaeologists? A: Professional courtesy.
Q. What’s the difference between the Treasure Trove Awards Committee and terrorists? A. You can negotiate with terrorists.
A treasure hunter goes to his lawyer and tells him,
“An archaeologist owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?”
“Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asks the lawyer.
“Nope,” replies the T’Her.
“OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you,” says the lawyer.
“But it’s only $500,” replies the T’Her.
“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”
My best wishes to my readers for a happy and peaceful Christmas.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 9, 2016
News to gladden the hearts of all treasure hunters.
Lee Rossiter who discovered the so-called Hammerton Ring – a 15th century Tudor gold ring – with his metal detector near Harrogate, Yorkshire, in April 2015, has sold it to for a hefty undisclosed sum in a private sale to a firm of Mayfair, London, dealers.
The ring, a double-bezel chased finger ring, is set with an emerald and a ruby and is engraved in the medieval French style. Mr Rossiter correctly reported his find to the appropriate authorities in accordance with the prevailing Treasure Act whereupon it was declared ‘treasure’ under the Act. It was later returned to him. The money raised from the sale is being shared with the landowner.
British Academy Honours PAS Founder
A Press Release from the University of Leicester informs that Professor Roger Bland OBE, a former British Museum Keeper, has been working with the University’s School of Archaeology and Ancient History, contributing to research involving coin hoards, such as the Hallaton Treasure – a collection of more than 5,000 silver and gold Iron Age coins found in Leicestershire.
But it was for his work establishing a hugely successful online database for archaeologists and others to share information about new finds which secured him the British Academy’s President’s Medal – awarded annually for “outstanding academic-related activity”.
The citation from the Academy outlined the reasons why he had been chosen.
It said: “This award is for Roger Bland’s contribution to the protection, and academic and public understanding, of Britain’s cultural heritage…”
The Portable Antiques Network scheme comprises a website – www.finds.org.uk – and an archaeological database, supported by a nationwide network of finds liaison officers who identify artefacts brought in by the public. The work is funded by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport through the British Museum and a range of local agencies.
Since its launch in 1997, it has amassed information about some 1.2 million objects in England and Wales, recorded by 45 dedicated archaeologists, as well as members of the public.
“It has proved to be a very rich resource for archaeological research,” said Prof Bland. “The website details more than 500 academic projects, which are using the data.”
The President’s Medal will be presented to Prof Bland on Tuesday 27 September, at the British Academy headquarters, in St James’s, London.
Previous winners include the former Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams, in 2013, and broadcaster Clive James, in 2014, in recognition of major contributions to Britain’s cultural life.
“I am humbled to have been honoured with this prestigious award,” Prof Bland said, “Mainly because it recognises the success of the Portable Antiquities Scheme in harnessing the efforts of amateur searchers for archaeological objects who use metal detectors in transforming our knowledge of our archaeological heritage.”
However, over on the vile PACHI blog, the brainchild of our old pal, Paul Barford, the Warsaw-based English language teacher who likes to be known (according to his blog) as an ‘archaeologist,’ is less than thrilled at Prof Bland’s magnificent award. In a bitter remark, the undistinguished Barford, comments on Prof Bland’s statement, “Well, that is a falsehood for a start,” as the preface to one of his usual bitchy, abusive, slurs on the Portable Antiquities Scheme and on anyone else who follows the metal detecting hobby.
Whilst the metal detecting community congratulates Prof Bland’s significant award and recognition; there’s no fury, it seems, like an undistinguished language teacher scorned.
On the seventh day He went treasure hunting….
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
September 7, 2016
August 10, 2016
July 25, 2016
“Oh, what a beauty, I’ve never seen one as big as that before…”
…Is a line from popular risqué song made famous by the legendary ukulele-playing entertainer, George Formby.
Now, I know there are certain names we don’t mention here on Stout Standards, but this one really is too good to miss and a prime example of scatter-gun insults, not to mention possible libel. A certain émigré Brit currently resident in Warsaw since 1986 who now teaches English and who describes himself as an ‘archaeologist’, regularly heaps invective and venom on detectorists, coin collectors and relic hunters in the manner of a kindergarten brat unable to have its own way, has thrown his toys out of the pram yet again. Only this time the target of his child-like spite is Britain’s archaeological community – yep, he’s ‘arkie’ bashing, the same ones who ran to his defence when the dodgy science behind his now widely-derided Artefact Erosion Counter was lambasted and expertly unpicked by experts in these columns.
He demonstrates what skills he has with the English language with this sample of his expertise:-
“There is actually a great silence from the British archaeological community (apparently for the most part, limp-wristed, pandering jobsworths who could not give a tinkers[sic] about any of this). It is good that there are archaeologists elsewhere [in Germany, apparently] keeping their eye on the ball.”
Thus, according to our English language teacher most of Britain’s male members of the archaeological community are “limp-wristed”, which for our US readers, means effete, mincing, homosexual, or in the current patois, ‘gay’.
How he arrives at this conclusion is anyone’s guess? A little extra-curricular activity on the subject perhaps? Does he include HRH The Prince of Wales, heir to the throne? HRH studied archaeology while at Cambridge University and who went on to become the Patron of the Council for British Archaeology?
And what about all his so-called pals in amateur archaeology; you know the ones, all those well-meaning folk who gather for Megameets at Standing Stones in Wiltshire….?
July 22, 2016
The Ashes of Self-importance
However, the self-proclaimed experts on metal detecting, the Council for British Archaeology (CBA), an educational charity, has its head firmly up its rectum in advocating that detector-found artefacts are better off left in the ground. Why? Here’s their encyclical:-
“As long as it remains safe then it is better to leave the evidence for future generations to investigate with better techniques and with better-informed questions to ask.”
Idiocy? You do the math.
July 15, 2016
For the moment at least, we’ll leave our two ‘favourite’ serial whingers to wallow in their own unique brand of vulgar and loutish prose that sets them apart from ordinary society while we get on with the serious biz of treasure hunting. The two aforementioned mites though good for the occasional chuckle really are too tiresome for regular inclusion in our blog. Indeed, it makes little sense to regularly bestow their piss poor down-market, semiliterate blogs, with the exposure they are unable to achieve.
A man in a butcher shop: – “I would like bull’s testicles”
Butcher: “Yeah, me too pal.”
I don’t read books by people who have betrayed the Motherland.
July 6, 2016
June 9, 2016
May 23, 2016
February 16, 2016
Well, Fancy That!
UN Declaration of Human Rights, adopted by the general assembly in 1948 declares “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.”
(1) Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
(2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
Says one to the other: “This taste funny to you?”
An elderly man is driving down the M1 Motorway when his mobile rings. Answering it (hands-free), he hears his wife on the other end.
“Albert”, she says, “Please be careful when you`re driving back. I just heard on the radio that there`s a maniac on the M1. He`s driving the wrong way!”
“It’s not just one” Albert replies, “There’s ******* hundreds of them!”
It has been so cold here in the UK of late, that I recently spotted an archaeologist with his hands in his own pockets.
…Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
December 17, 2015
Watlington Hoard Update: Nationally significant, say experts and archaeologists
by John Howland
Ed Vaizey, the UK’s Minister of State for Culture, announced the discovery of the highly significant Viking Hoard near Watlington, Oxfordshire, the contents of which date from when the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of Mercia, and Wessex, were fighting for their survival against the Vikings; a fight which led to the unification of England. “The British Museum now runs the Portable Antiquities Scheme, which puts online lovely images of thousands s of people’s discoveries,” adding reassuringly, “The future of the past has never been healthier.”
The hoard of rare silver coins of King Alfred ‘The Great’ of Wessex (871-99) and King Ceolwulf II of Mercia (874-79) also contained Viking silver bracelets and silver ingots. The hoard was excavated by an expert team from the UK’s world renowned Portable Antiquities Scheme, in response to a report by the finder, James Mather. The team lifted the cache in its entirety which was then taken for expert analysis at the British Museum where the soil-block was examined under laboratory conditions and the hoard’s contents – 186 coins (some fragmentary) seven items of jewellery and fifteen ingots – were studied by leading specialists from the Ashmolean and British Museums.
The PAS reckons, “The hoard was buried around the end of the 870s, in the period following Alfred’s decisive defeat of the Vikings at Edington in 878. Following their defeat, the Vikings moved north of the Thames and travelled to East Anglia through the kingdom of Mercia. It seems likely that the hoard was buried in the course of these events, although the precise circumstances will never be known.”
Detectorist, James Mather’s discovery of the cache dubbed the ‘Watlington Hoard’, said of his find:
“Discovering this exceptional hoard has been a really great experience and helping excavate it with archaeologists from the PAS on my 60th birthday was the icing on the cake! It highlights how responsible metal detecting, supportive landowners and the PAS contribute to national archaeological heritage. I hope these amazing artefacts can be displayed by a local museum to be enjoyed by generations to come.” The Treasure Trove reward which will be equally shared between the landowner and the finder could run to a six figure sum.
Gareth Williams, The British Museum’s Curator of Early Medieval Coinage is equally excited by the discovery:
“The hoard comes from a key moment in English history. At around the same time, Alfred of Wessex decisively defeated the Vikings, and Ceolwulf II, the last king of Mercia quietly disappeared from the historical record in uncertain circumstances. Alfred and his successors then forged a new kingdom of England by taking control of Mercia, before conquering the regions controlled by the Vikings. This hoard has the potential to provide important new information on relations between Mercia and Wessex at the beginning of that process.”
The PAS reports that since the introduction of the 1996 Treasure Act under which finders of ‘treasure’ have a legal obligation to report such finds, treasure reports (overwhelmingly by metal detectorists) have rocketed from 201 in 1998 – the first full year of the Act – to 1008 in 2014.
If the hoard is declared ‘Treasure’ as defined under the 1996 Act reports the PAS, the world famous Ashmolean Museum in Oxford along with the Oxfordshire Museums Service will be working in partnership with others, and potential funders, to try to ensure that this important find can be displayed for local people to learn about and enjoy.
Crucially, the significant words are “[…]…This hoard has the potential to provide important new information […]” and is yet another awe-inspiring find made by detectorist with a passionate interest in history.
Your Heritage Needs YOU! (And your metal detector)
Would you like to help add to our knowledge of how people lived in the past through the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS)? You do? Then the PAS will be very happy to hear from you!
You can support their valuable work in two main ways: by reporting any archaeological objects (over 300 years old) you have found, or by volunteering to help record finds.
To report your finds get in touch with your local Finds Liaison Officer (FLO). They will identify and record your finds onto the database for you and others to see and researchers to study.
This is a five-year project funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund (HLF) to enhance the PAS’s volunteer programme. Under PASt Explorers, volunteers operate as Community Finds Recording Teams (CFRTs) based around their local Finds Liaison Officer and the teams are organised into ten regional training areas. Volunteers receive training in order to identify and record archaeological finds from their local area, increasing the number of objects recorded onto the PAS database. The teams also promote the activities of the PAS to new audiences in their areas, and recruit others to volunteer with the PAS and engage with the history and archaeology of their local areas. As part of the project, two Project Officers, an Outreach Officer and an ICT Officer have been appointed to help support and coordinate volunteers.
If you are a detectorist with a passion for local history, or are concerned about the proper recording of your heritage, why sign up to this ground-breaking initiative. Britain’s metal detecting community are making enormous strides and contributions as the Watlington Hoard amply demonstrates. Contact the PAS for further details.
December 12, 2015
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
Reading Andy Baines’ recent comment I was struck by his obvious and genuine common sense though I expect that much of what he said fell on stony metal detecting ground: That it’s local knowledge that gets the results and ANY machine in the right hands will confirm that knowledge.
What’s even more edifying is that Andy – who has been in the game for four years – not only understands what’s writ large but has taken on board what’s been handed down through generations of treasure hunters. When I and Dick have shuffled off this mortal coil, it’s good to know the baton will be picked and carried by someone who knows which way is up.
There’s nothing wrong with metal detectors costing a Grand or more. The problem is that some novices buy these expensive machines as a perceived shortcut to expertise – the ‘badge’ if you like that suggests to others…’Look at me, expensive machine, I am an expert’ only to discover they ain’t. Club meetings become painful when they realise others with lesser machines are coming up roses.
All I can advise is to start the hobby slowly and if your finds rate is satisfactory and you’re getting good results, why change? But if you need increased depth…buy a larger coil. If you really need in-built satnav…go for it.
Best of all, enjoy the pastime.
To Whom it Concerns:
Stupidity is when you can’t help it – ignorance is when you choose not to understand something…….Sarah McLachlan
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
December 2, 2015
July 9, 2015
A good treasure hunter knows the law; a great one knows the Coroner.
It was so cold today I saw an arkie with his hands in his own pockets.
“Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it”……Frank Muir
I’ll see y’all in the bar
John Howland – 2012 Garrett video
May 20, 2015
April 11, 2015
It’s Not Just Finds They are Good at Identifying….Julie Cassidy, a Finds Liaison Officer with the UK’ s Portable Antiquities Scheme sent an email to her colleagues which, according to the serial moaner and fierce anti-PAS/ collecting/detecting/US Foreign Policy/Malamute Saloon/critic Paul Barford, contained the following sentiment:-
“I tend not to read Barford. I have enough depressing crap to deal with without looking for more! Good luck with this one everyone.”
Well spotted and said, Julie! Hat Tip to you!
And there’s more…..
…. ComЯades! Gissa Job?
“As I have said before, we need a PAS. We need a PAS which has a fixed legally-constituted place within the UK’s heritage management (I use the term loosely) system and which has the ability to get tough with bad practice and of course steady and assured access to adequate resources to do the job while the need exists due to current policies. That is what needs to change, more than the personnel.” Blimey! Now there’s a fine piece of oily, grovelling, toadying, if there ever was one.
Is it possible the Warsaw Warbler, that pisspoor blogger, PAS-hater, anti-collector, anti-relic-hunter, anti-American, is going to take the British Museum’s shilling and a menial position with…. the PAS (perhaps one of his old comЯades in the former Polish Communist regime is about to take command). It remains unclear what precisely he’s qualified to undertake, or, more likely perhaps, it’s all simply nothing more than arrogant “depressing crap” from a non-UK resident; one who abandoned democracy years ago in favour of the delights of Polish Communism?
I’ve recently bought an Irish Setter pup. His coat is red. He belongs to a breed with a tendency to ‘play deaf,’ so careful training on mastering the recall is required before allowing him off-lead.
I’ve named him, ‘Barford’.
To all writers of “depressing crap” who avidly read this blog:
There seems to be no lengths to which humourless people will not go to analyse humour. It seems to worry them.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
March 24, 2015
“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”….. Albert Einstein
I’ll see y’all in the bar…
February 28, 2015
When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”
Did you hear about the archaeologist who accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex thinking it was liquid Viagra? He woke up in the morning with a huge correction.
Interviewer: “What’s your greatest weakness?”
Interviewer: “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.”
Candidate: “I don’t give a f**k what you think.”
A Nugget of Wisdom…
“Success comes to those who have an entire mountain of gold that they continually mine, not those who find one nugget and try to live on it for fifty years“…John C. Maxwell
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
February 17, 2015
February 4, 2015
“We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.”- Calvin Coolidge
January 21, 2015
BARFORD UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT – AN OCCASIONAL LOOK AT THE BIZARRE
If you’ve ever wondered why the PAS and detectorist-hating Paul Barford, who describes himself as an archaeologist living in Poland, is such a buffoon and seemingly incapable of reporting simplest facts (God knows what his excavation reports contained!), then this shining example of his turgid, tabloid style of sensationalism, taken from his preposterous blog should provide the answers.
January 8, 2015
There is no disease that I spit on more than treachery….Aeschylus
See you in the bar!
December 24, 2014
It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages…..Henry Ford
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
Have a great ‘hoiking’ Christmas season and I’ll see y’all in the New Year!
December 21, 2014
Dateline: Bournemouth, England – December 21
Wise Words (1)
Going through Bob Sickler’s outstanding book, Detectorist, first published in 1993, two of his musings leapt from the page. The first of which concerned PI machines and their propensity for elongated iron/ferrous objects: Bob poses the question if it’s technically possible for the signal to be transformed to visual display or readout which would go a long way in helping to overcome this tiresome aspect of PI machines. Garrett’s have something similar with their awesome GTI 2500 machine so why can’t this technology be adapted to PI machines? I cannot image that since 1993 when Bob put pen to paper, the men-in-white-coats in downtown Garland have not considered the prospect. On the other hand of course…
Wise Words (2)
Probably the most succinct aspect of Bob’s book, is at the back, where he says that it’s not so much the price of your metal detector that will fill your goody-bag, but how, and where you use it. The most expensive piece of kit in the world won’t find coins where none exist. However, if you use it where coins are EXPECTED, then even the lowest priced machine will do the business.
The late Colin Hanson (FID’s former Secretary) often used a simple to use, entry-level metal detector and time and again, whether on a Roman site or on the beach, he invariably did better than me.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a prosperous, lucky
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 26, 2014
Remember…..(And it’s Not Just Politicians, Either)
“A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation”….Adlai E. Stevenson
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
October 30, 2014
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits”….Albert Einstein
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
October 26, 2014
“Jealousy is the fear of comparison”….Max Frisch
“The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents”…Salvador Dali
I’ll see you in the bar…
RODNEY TROTTER* LIVES!
Talking of po-faced organisations, the Daily Express’ Adrian Lee, writing about the new BBC sit-com, Detectorists, a gentle comedy ‘ revolving around the bizarre world of metal detecting,’ quotes the National Council for Metal Detecting’s General Secretary Trevor Austin, on the self-important and near-impotent NCMD’s decision to wash its hands of any involvement in the making of the new detectorist sit-com because, “We didn’t think it was something we wanted to be involved in. It does worry me that they are taking the mickey out of metal detecting. It is a serious hobby.”
Really Trev! And to borrow a line from another famous sit-com, Only Fools and Horses, “What a 24-carat plonker you really are!”
*Rodney Trotter a main character in the UK television sit-com series, Only Fools and Horses.
Is a treasure hunter an archaeologist who’s been mugged by reality?
WHAT’S MISSING FROM THE BOVINE SCATOLOGY LIST?
A ‘hoiker’ hater writes:-
“[…]…archaeology per se does not fight world poverty, ebola, capitalism, globalism, industrial pollution, global warming, terrorism, the progressive extinction of the world’s wildlife, child abuse, drink-driving, drive-by shootings, police brutality, or anything else.”
Eagle-eyed readers will have spotted that his list is the recognizable face of academia’s self-righteous, smug, and detector-hating political Left Wing; though this particular ‘hoiker’-hater, maintains his woeful standards by tritely avoiding revelations that some archaeologists have thrown their lot in with brutal regimes where the violent crushing of political dissidents, and State-sponsored murder was commonplace. Pre-democracy Poland is a perfect example. Bizarrely, he expects the world to take him seriously. Ha, ha, ho, ho! Oh, dearie me, not on this form!
Small wonder his anti-collecting, anti-detecting blog, is a burlesque of absurdity.
“LUSTRATION”…someone, somewhere, reading this edition of the Malamute Saloon, knows precisely what the word means, and knows too, that I know what it means.
The first step on the way to victory is to recognize the enemy….Corrie Ten Boom
I’ll see you all in the bar….
September 15, 2014
Here’s One for ATPro Beach Hunters
As most proficient UK beachcombers are (presumably) aware, 5p and 10p coins (along with 1p and 2p coins) are iron-cored. However, when they are found in ‘recently lost’ condition the ATPro reacts favourably to the copper wash exterior of the 1p’s and 2p’s, or the nickel wash of the 5p’s and 10p’s. BUT, when these coins have been exposed to prolonged periods in a saltwater environment the iron core ‘bursts’, whereby the coins invariable register as ‘Iron’ – similar to bottle caps – by setting-off the ‘Iron Audio’ mode. In this condition they are worthless anyway…or ‘Barfords’ as me and Jack Dey call them…as in:-
”Found anything Jack?”
“Yep, a couple of £1-coins, and a Barford.”
Though the ATPro’s ‘Iron Audio’ feature is a superb innovation – like when the first loaf of bread came sliced – relegating steel bottle caps to the dustbin of history, which on the face of it is no bad thing…but… BEWARE!
On a recent beach sortie and for some fortuitous and unfathomable reason I dug a dubious ‘iron’ signal and into the sandscoop came a ‘burst’ 5p. I checked the hole agan, and a strong ‘77’ digital signal sounded indicating a £1-coin. Sure enough, in the next scoop of sand , up came a shiny £1-coin. The 5p had partially ‘masked’ the £1-coin having been directly above it or at the very least, overlapping it, thus presenting a dubious ‘Iron’ signal to the ATPro. The ‘Iron Discrim’ was set at ‘35’ my normal beach setting. I doubt whether a smaller coil would have separated the two, BUT, that £1-coin could have been a gold ring! You get my drift? The odds of a ‘burst’ 5 or 10p coin masking a gold ring are, well, who-knows-what, but certainly possible has as happened with the £1-coin.
I now operate the ATPro with the ‘Iron Audio’ facility ‘ON’, but with the ‘Iron Discrim’ to ‘15’ or less, in the hope that ‘bigger’ more valuable targets will overpower ‘burst’ 5 or 10p’s. I don’t how these settings affect US and Canadian users, though I understand that some Canadian coins can be more than a twinge in the rectal region. Perhaps ‘Bill from Lachine’ will chuck in his ten cent’s worth – all contributions gratefully received.
Tired of Life? Then DON’T Read This…
If you hunt beaches and bays where huge tidal ranges are the norm, what follows just might save your life. Those of you already aware of the ’12-ths Rule’ then I suggest y’all put the coffee pot on, or pour large Bourbon, or go and get your leg over, while I explain to the less knowledgeable.
Right! For you newbies it’s all about numbers…..Remember…..1, 2, 3 …. 3, 2, 1.
The Flood Tide (incoming) runs for six hours from LOW and HIGH Water; not at a constant flow, but slowly gathers speed galloping in during the 3rd and 4th hours of the flood, with the pace decreasing towards High Water. On some slightly shelving beaches where there might be up to, or over 400-yards of exposed foreshore, it races in faster than some people can walk and cutting off the unwary an consigning them to an untimely death. You can work out the speed of the tide by knowing its range and if you don’t know what ‘range’ means…don’t go out on a beach until you do; and that ain’t negotiable. An incoming (Flood) tide runs approximately for six hours at roughly the following rate:-
1st hour is equal to 1/12 of the tidal range… Rises 3-ft
2nd hour is equal to 2/12 of the tidal range… Rises 6-ft
3rd hour is equal to 3/12 of the tidal range… Rises 9-ft
4th hour is equal to 3/12 of the tidal range… Rises 9-ft
5th hour is equal to 2/12 of the tidal range… Rises 6-ft
6th hour is equal to 1/12 of the tidal range… Rises 3-ft
If say, there’s a 36-ft tidal range in your area, then you’ll see from the above scale, the greatest movement of water occurs during 3rd and 4th hours of the Flood (incoming) Tide. This is especially critical if you’re say, wreck hunting, at the back of a horseshoe-shaped bay backed by high cliffs.
Assuming then, you are hunting in a 36-ft tidal coastal location, the speed of the Flood Tide during the 3rd and 4th hours is rising at the rate of 1.8-inches per minute. Once the ‘tips’ of the horseshoe are covered by the Flood tide – your escape route is now effectively blocked – you are in deep, very deep, doo-doo! Your only ‘out’ is by climbing the cliffs.
I never ceased to be astounded by the number of beachcombers who cannot read, or even grasp the rudimentary essentials of a Tide Table… after all, it’s basic knowledge not rocket science, as is getting a handle on local weather conditions. Here in Dorset, sadly, we lose at least one angler every year somewhere along our magnificent coastline and often on the deeply shelving, and unforgiving Chesil Beach, which in a fierce ‘South Westerly’ is a death trap….locals avoid it like the plague in these conditions; they know the fish will still be there the day after!
There’s a place I know where high value Spanish gold and silver coins can be found washing ashore where on a Spring Flood Tide the window of treasure hunting opportunity is about one hour. Whenever I hunt here, I ALWAYS carry a mobile phone and a smoke distress flare – just in case.
“The archaeo-blogosphere is stuffed full with Richard-heads, thus:-I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it”…..Edith Sitwell
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
September 3, 2014
Here’s one for the propaganda sock-puppets…
Celebrity and secrets don’t go together. The bastards will get you in the end….George Michael
I’ll see y’all in the bar….
August 15, 2014
August 8, 2014
For those of you following Bubba’s first trip to the US and to Atlantic City in particular….heeeere’s Johnny!!
The “New Joisey eatery” John is referring to was the “Lighthouse” in Weehawken, New Jersey, without a doubt one of the best Italian restaurants I’ve ever eaten in and that includes Italy as well. The only name I knew the owner by was ‘Romano” and he was a delightful man. Unfortunately the Lighthouse is longer in business….
FEELING THE HEAT
Following on from the previous curry recipe here on the Malamute Saloon I’m relieved that no-one has yet complained about having the red-hot rectals, or of marking out the hockey pitch as we sometimes refer to the morning after effects. I live in hope, ha, ha, ha! A good hot curry should induce sweating which in turn cleans the pores of the skin and what follows, though a little cooler, will do precisely that.
Hot curries are addictive in that they cause the body to release endorphins (a natural pain-killer). The same effect is possible with hot Tex-Mex chili too I suspect. But hot curries are for Sahibs, the menfolk, not wimpy gringos.
British Beef Raj Curry
This curry is finished off with serving bowls of sultanas, chopped boiled eggs, chopped fresh tomatoes, and desiccated coconut, crispy poppadums, from which the diners add according to taste, along with a dollop of apple, mango, or tamarind chutney. A sprinkling of sliced bananas is a useful addition to counter the fire of the chillies. Always serve with boiled rice.
- 25g/1oz butter
- 750g/1lb 10oz steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
- 2 medium onions, sliced
- 3 garlic cloves, crushed
- 1 teaspoon Madras chilli powder
- 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
- 1½ tablespoons garam masala
- 1½ teaspoon salt
- 600ml/20fl oz. beef stock
- 50g/1¾oz desiccated coconut
- 100g/3½oz sultanas
- Two chopped red chillies with seeds
1. Melt the butter in a large, sturdy pan (a cast-iron skillet is ideal) over a medium heat. Add the steak, in batches, and fry for a few minutes until browned and then remove to a plate. Add the onions to the same pan and fry for 10 minutes, or until softened and golden-brown.
2. Add the garlic and fry for one minute, and then return the meat to the pan, along with any juices on the plate. Stir in the chilli powder, turmeric, one tablespoon of the garam masala, and the salt, and cook for one minute.
3. Add the stock, followed by the coconut and sultanas. Bring to a simmer, cover and cook over a low heat for 45 minutes to an hour or until the beef is tender. Stir in the remaining garam masala and serve. Often, a good dollop of straight-from-the-fridge yoghurt (Greek style) over the beef soothes the heat. Enjoy!
Remember the Golden Rule about drinks with curries….it’s water always, beer sometimes…wine NEVER.
This from the greatest Heavyweight of all time:-This from the greatest Heavyweight of all time:-
“Why waltz with a guy for 10 rounds if you can knock him out in one?“...Rocco Francis Marchegiano,(aka, ‘Rocky’ Marciano, aka, ‘The Brockton Blockbuster’)
49 fights, 49 wins,43 by KO
I’ll see y’all in the bar
July 20, 2014
Q: What’s 6” long, 2”wide, and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!
“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” – George Carlin
I asked God for a good Roman site to detect, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I went out Nighthawking and asked for forgiveness. – Me.
What they’d have you believe…
All archaeological research is groundbreaking.
“A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear. The traitor is the plague.” Marcus Tullius Cicero
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism….William Osler
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
July 1, 2014
WHAT A GUY!
A Scotsman and his wife were walking past a chic new restaurant.
“Did you smell that food?” she asked. “Incredible!”
Being a kind hearted Scot, he thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her!”
So, they walked past it again…
“They Got an Awful Lot of Football in Brazil… “
My apologies to Ole Blue Eyes, but this is serious. Can you believe it: The USA getting so far in the World Cup when England went out in the early stages? I mean, it’s the English national game! It’s simply not cricket, old boy. How would the former-colonists like it if an English team went to the US and won their World Series? Huh? Huh? And what’s the FMDAC/NCMD or Task Force, doing about it? That’s I’d like to know?
I reckon ‘Yogi’ Berra (NY Mets, and Yankees) had it right when he said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
“Those who are weak don’t fight. Those who are stronger might fight for an hour. Those who are stronger still might fight for many years. The strongest fight their whole life. They are the indispensable ones.”…..Bertolt Brecht
I’ll see y’all in the bar….
June 24, 2014
Some of our critics already know and abide by Mark Twain’s celebrated quote ….
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please”…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
June 19, 2014
Remember (the words of Mighty Confucius)….
Swinging chain denotes a warm seat…
Man with no lining to trouser pockets, feel cocky all day…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
May 23, 2014
There’s a lot of confusion particularly amongst some UK novice detectorists as to the ins and outs of written agreements with landowners. In fact, it’s all very Straightforward. If you want it Kosher then go to the fountain’s head for refreshment: The Portable Antiquities Scheme is the source, handing down excellent advice on the subject from its website http://finds.org.uk/ (much of it applicable in principle to the US too, by the way). I quote:-
Guidance for landowners, occupiers and tenant farmers in England and Wales
Metal-detecting, Field-walking and searching for Archaeological Objects: guidance for landowners, occupiers and tenant farmers in England and Wales
This guidance had been jointly produced by the Country, Land & Business Association, the National Farmers Union and the Portable Antiquities Scheme, September 2010.Finds Agreement…
Bill Pearlstein, a principal of the US law firm, Pearlstein & McCullough, summed-up the basis of it all when he wrote on Washington, DC, Peter Tompa’s authoritative Cultural Property Observer blog, that, “The fundamental principal of US and UK law that no one can ever take title of stolen property has been the basis of numerous successful claims for the return of antiquities.”
Some of the more astute and better organised detecting clubs and groups retain their own firms of solicitors (attorneys in the US) – whose names appear on the clubs’ headed notepaper – and who negotiate mutually agreeable search contracts with third parties. The contents of these contracts are nobody’s business except the signatories: It’s their deal, their business. The same goes for rallies. These are legal and wholesome events enjoyed by many and the fact the usual suspects foam at the mouth in protest, is hard luck on them!
A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the Hilton Hotel, where the British archaeologists were holding their annual convention. More than a hundred archaeologists were taken hostage. The terrorist leader announced that unless their demands were met, they would release one archaeologist every hour.
THE CAN OF WORMS THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO OPEN….DAYHAWKING!
It’s manifestly obvious, even to the terminally dim, that anyone venturing forth on land that’s not theirs requires permission – Rights of Way accepted — to do so from the landowner. Though it’s mainly metal detectorists who chase down this permission, other pursuits requiring similar access include among others, ‘field-walkers and/or other amateur or professional archaeologists’ who all need the same agreements to some degree or another. Precisely how many amateur fieldwalkers/archaeologists ride roughshod over landowner’s rights by wilfully ignoring written permission, or how they divvy-up of their ill-gotten pottery shards and flint tools without the landowner getting a fair shake — though figures are apocryphal – is at best rare; at worst non-existent. There’s little more frustrating than researching a meadow or field only to have had these ‘Sunday Strollers’ removing artefacts willy-nilly and all going unrecorded. Is this ‘irresponsible’ archaeology? Of course it is!
What at first glance appears to be a new phenomenon, currently dubbed, ‘Dayhawking’, has been going on for years, especially by well-meaning bumbling amateur history societies. Indeed, archaeology has a long and distinguished record of looting other country’s artefacts mostly craftily cloaked in the mantle of ‘research’. Yeah, right!
The total sums ‘earned’ from this insidious mugging is anyone’s guess; but assuming the miscellany of items hoiked from the UK’s arable farmland as just one prime example, pans out at £1.00 per item, yes just one pound, for every pottery shard and flint tool stolen without written permission since 1900 say, must run to millions of pounds.
I often come into contact with landowners in a social context, and many tell me they have given verbal permission to non-detectorists (arkies, etc.) on the basis that, “they seemed harmless enough,” and are astounded when I tell them pottery shards and flints are worth good money. “What b******s”, one NFU man told me, “Thanks for the information.”
Whereas all NCMD/FID affiliated metal detecting clubs initiate written agreements as a matter of course, sadly similar ‘agreement templates’ are unsurprisingly, you might think, missing from archaeological websites. This suggests amateurs of the Sunday afternoon, rambling ‘Bobble-hatted Brigade,’ dupe landowners to ‘opt in’ – or put crudely…. ‘If they don’t ask, we won’t tell ‘em.’ One has only look at the PAS database to discover the huge discrepancy between the over-abundance of detector-found items compared to what amounts to a famine of artefacts from archaeological activity. Why is this I wonder? I’ll leave that for you to answer!
So, be alert to the threat of Dayhawks. Tell your landowners about them and negotiate where you can; sole search rights!
A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious his wife has the hump with him. He asks he what’s the matter? She replies, “Last night you were talking in your sleep and I want to know who Linda is?” Thinking quickly on his feet he tells her that Linda was ‘Lucky Linda’ and was the name of a horse that he bet on that day and won him £50. She seemed quite happy with the explanation and he went off to work. When he got home that night, his wife had the hump with him again. Asking her what the matter was now, she replied “Your horse just phoned.”
May 14, 2014
Congrats to Odyssey Marine
The world leaders in underwater exploration have done it again with the recovery of gold bullion from the wreck of the Central America which went down in a storm off the Carolinas. Their success again highlights the fact (unpalatable for some) that private enterprise leads the way in underwater exploration and treasure recovery projects.
Investing in these ventures is a gamble but one worth taking, as opposed to what might one expect in the way of financial returns from sinking one’s ‘hard earned’ into (presumably) for-profit private archaeological companies? Not a bloody lot I suggest. I can already hear the gnashing of teeth and the whining and moaning from certain quarters at this obvious truism.
Critics of Odyssey Marine are more often than not, green-eyed heritologists rampant with jealousy, or others of this ilk with radical axes to grind. Naturally enough, they very conveniently forget to mention that Odyssey funds its own explorations, unlike archaeology that relies on financial support often arm-twisted out developers, builders, local councils, or unwilling tax .
The result? Simply look at the appalling situation across the country where millions of artefacts hoiked from archaeological digs are languishing unloved, unrecorded and unclassified. The loss to the historical record by some of these so-called professionals, beggars belief.
All of which raises the question: Should ‘private-enterprise archaeology’ be more accountable to its financers, particularly where the term ‘professional’ is the incestuous metaphor for ‘excellence’? Some people earnestly believe the Department for Culture, Media, and Sport, consider primary legislation to put an end to this shameful state of affairs.
Ty Brook – The Thinking Man’s Treasure Hunter
Following on from Dick Stout’s comments on Ty Brook, I have to add that if one thing in this life is for-sure, Ty Brook, will never see the inside of the US Diplomatic Corp’s staff canteen! No Suh! I doubt they’d even give him the key to the Janitor’s toilet! He is to diplomacy what the Boston Strangler was to door-to-door salesmen; you see, he’s possessed of this very embarrassing gift for saying things the way they are. He takes no prisoners. Oh yes, he’s an A-1 electronics engineer; A-1 treasure hunter and writer who he knows what he’s talking about!
His book, Inside Treasure Hunting, is a revelation; what he writes is equally applicable to the UK. The section on buying and selling used equipment for example, is a real-eye-opener. His comments and advice on over-twiddling with the controls, especially the DISCRIM and SENS, will as usual, fall on the stony ground of the terminally dim.
It’s all good stuff and well worth a read and well deserving of a place on every thinking treasure hunter’s bookshelf.
“Gold is a treasure, and he who possesses it does all he wishes to in this world, and succeeds in helping souls into paradise…”
I’ll see y’all in the bar,…arrrgh!
May 2, 2014
THE LOVE THAT DARES TO SPEAK IT’S NAME…TREASURE HUNTING!
My apologies to Oscar Wilde; playwright, wit, and celebrated homosexual, who first coined the phrase, though in the example above I substituted ‘To’ for his original ‘Not’. In the late Victorian era, when dear old Oscar was holding court in Victorian London’s artiest haunts and affecting minor outrages with his mon amour, Lord Alfred Douglas, being ‘gay’ was punishable with incarceration in one of Her Majesty’s hotels. Oscar finally wound up doing two years Penal Servitude (hard labor) in Reading Gaol – the inspiration for his famous ballad.
Thank goodness in these enlightened times society is more understanding. Nowadays, tyrants are narcissists, hard-Left archaeo-politicos who peddle the Marxist line that private property is a no-no, along with other assorted dross posing as academics (even detectorists!) whose life’s work is portraying detectorists/ treasure hunters — that’s YOU by the way – as the kind of thing one might inadvertently step in on the sidewalk. They get their rocks off insulting anyone they consider their intellectual inferiors…usually detectorists/treasure hunters.
Of course, there’s nothing unethical in being a treasure hunter – far from it. Neither is there anything wicked about hunting for profit PROVIDED, I suggest, that what you find is legally found, and suitably recorded somewhere; in a diary perhaps; on a pack of Marlboros (other cigarettes are available); or better still, with a museum – just give ‘em the data. It’s YOUR history too! More people own metal detectors than dabble in archaeology as a pastime….so don’t let the tail wag the dog! The United States is the spiritual home of treasure hunting…be proud of that heritage.
From my experiences of visiting the States, I know there’s cadre of detectorist/treasure hunters who have amassed superb collections of material from the Civil War era — for example — and who are themselves experts in the subject. The problem is that researchers unconnected with metal detecting have a hard time tracking down these expert historians; they and their collections scattered to the four winds.
Perhaps what’s needed is a register/database of these clued-up specialist historian? From my own experience as a freelancer and editor, tracking down good and reliable specialists can be a nightmare; not only where a photograph of a particular artefact is required for illustration, but how and where to locate such a piece. If such a database existed it would prove to be an invaluable research tool.
If it were possible to engage this database – if the will exists to bring it to fruition – it would dovetail neatly with an emerging new phenomenon. Taking their cue from the UK’s world-beating Portable Antiquities Scheme, some of the shrewder US archaeologists are beginning to both recognize the advantages of tapping into this seam of knowledge, and are slowly realizing that the usual lurid tales about metal detecting is nonsense propaganda. Some are even on the receiving end of ad hominen insults and abuse from the aforementioned vacuous ‘academic’ archaeo-dross for siding with us, and many are keen to put daylight between these weirdoes and mainstream archaeology for fear that all archaeologists will be similarly branded.
So while we have to contend with our detractors, so do some archaeologists.
A translator is someone who liked words as a kid but didn’t have enough charisma to be an accountant.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.….W. C. Fields
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
April 27, 2014
Most of you will recall the debate on Stout Standards when UK archaeologists tried to deny that they, unlike us ‘unscientific’ types, carefully excavated the top three to four feet of topsoil – the same topsoil in which we as detectorists find our casual losses. These UK archaeological know-nothings, aided and abetted by their bum-licking stool-pigeon who inhabit the fringes (yes, this kind of low-life really does exist), collaborated to say that ABSOLUTELY, we were destroying so-called, (but) mythical contextual data in that topsoil.
This is the logo of RESCUE. Says it all really!
Now ‘Eres a Funny Thing!
‘North Korea detains a ‘rash’ American’… headlined a brief report. Intrigued, I read on…
According to the brief report in Britain’s Daily Telegraph on the 26 April, the North Koreans detained a US citizen identified as Miller Matthew Todd, 24, for “rash behaviour” on the 10 April while passing through immigration control. According to the North Korean news agency, KCNA, he was taken into custody for “his rash behaviour in the course of going through formalities for entry.” Upon his arrival, the KCNA announced, he tore up his tourist visa shouting that “he would seek asylum” and had come to North Korea “after choosing it as a shelter.” Blimey! What sort of loony-toon would leave the free West to live under communism?
April 22, 2014
THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER AWAKENS
Over on a certain Warsaw blogsite where miscellaneous claptrap masquerades as educated opinion, and rarely fails to disappoint, has just had a top-up of the usual ad hominen and sexist insults. It’s all quite amusing, though it says more about those who commit this kind of nonsense than those on the receiving end of the vitriol.
The latest effort is a classic, laced with latent envy. The Warsaw blog’s chief scribe informs us that Roberta Mazza, a Classics lecturer and Ancient Historian at the University of Manchester (UK) wrote a screed on her blog under the attention-grabbing title, ‘Papyri, private collectors and academics: why the wife of Jesus and Sappho matter,’ giving intricate details about a fragment of papyri. The Warsaw blogger quotes Ms Mazza thus:
“Dirk Obbink does not provide any detail on acquisition circumstances and documents in the final publication of what is now called in papyrological language ‘P. Sapp. Obbink’, just out (Zeitschrift für Papyrologie und Epigraphik 189, 2014, 32-49).
The Warsaw scribbler then adds a rider:
“It seems rather unfortunate that somebody (Dr Obbink himself?) chose the scholar’s name to define the papyrus. It rather suggests he himself is the owner. Is he? How come?”
Is Wally on a Roll?
So, the famed Dr Dirk Obbink of Oxford University has secured a place in posterity by having an important piece of papyri named in his honour? Well not too worry I say to our Warsaw-based comrade, an internationally respected, academic colossus; you have your place in posterity too. Another type of paper exists that certainly reveres your memory…it comes on a roll of about 240 perforated sheets and usually found in the smallest, public room in most museums.
“The United States of America became the envy of the world because we welcomed the best and brightest minds from anywhere on the planet and gave them the opportunity to succeed” (I guess the dunces went East? Dick.) ……Naveen Jain
I’ll see you in the bar
April 15, 2014
AN INTERESTING PARA ON THE ODYSSEY MARINE WEBSITE
“Although the UK is not a signatory to the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization’s (UNESCO) Convention for the Protection of Underwater Cultural Heritage (CPUCH) and therefore not bound by CPUCH, Odyssey’s proposed agreement is consistent with the archaeological principles of CPUCH.”
Precisely why the UK is not a signatory to CPUCH’s shenanigans is unknown; maybe Her Majesty’s Government (HMG) is following the lead of the US?
“How can you spot a communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you spot an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin” …..Ronald Reagan
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
April 11, 2014
TREASURE HUNTING AT ITS VERY BEST
TAMPA, Fla., July 22, 2013 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) – “Odyssey Marine Exploration pioneers in the field of deep-ocean exploration, has recovered over 61 tons of silver bullion this month from a depth of nearly three miles.
“This recovery of bullion from the SS Gairsoppa, […] consists of 1,574 silver ingots weighing about 1,100 ounces each or almost 1.8 million troy ounces in total, sets a new record for the deepest and largest precious metal recovery from a shipwreck. The silver has been transported to a secure facility in the United Kingdom.”
The 5,237-ton SS Gairsoppa with her cargo of pig iron, tea, general cargo, and silver ingots (then worth £600,000 – $1.8 million US) inbound to London from Calcutta was part of convoy SL.64, when she was detached to Galway due to lack of fuel.
On February 16, 1941, west of Ireland, a patrolling German Focke-Wulf Fw 200 ‘Condor’, a four-engined long-range reconnaissance/attack aircraft circled her at 08:00 and being in radio contact with U-101 directed the submarine into the attack. Kapitänleutnant Ernst Mengersen* the U-101’s commander put a torpedo into the Gairsoppa’s starboard side by the No. 2 Hold. She went down within 20-minutes; her last reported position; 50°00’N 14°0’W, 300 miles (480 km) southwest of Galway Bay, Ireland.
Three of the ship’s lifeboats were launched, but only one, in the charge of the Second Mate Richard Ayres with four Europeans and two Lascars on board, made it away; the remaining crew were lost. By the 13th day adrift in wintry Atlantic seas only Richard Ayres, Robert Hampshire the radio officer, seaman-gunner, Norman Thomas, and a Lascar seaman, remained alive. Ayres’ boat reached the Cornish coast two weeks later off the rock-strewn, Caerthillian Cove in the parish of Landewednack. The boat capsized in heavy seas off the Lizard Point. Only Ayres was pulled from the sea alive. The others Robert Hampshire, Norman Thomas, and the unknown Lascar sailor, died trying to get ashore. They are buried in St Wynwallow’s Churchyard, Church Cove, Landewednack, Cornwall.
In 2011, Odyssey Marine discovered the wreck and her cargo of silver bullion bars with an estimated value of £150-million ($210 million US), delivering twenty per cent of the silver bars to the Royal Mint who have minted twenty-thousand .999 fine silver Limited Edition coins, denominated as a 50-pence pieces, struck from the recovered silver bullion.
A fine tribute, and memorial, to a gallant crew.
Kapitänleutnant Ernst Mengersen
Born 30 Jun 1912 Bremke, Lippe, Died 6 Nov 1995 (83)
12 ships sunk, total tonnage 68,071 GRT
1 warship sunk, total tonnage 1,190 tons
3 ships damaged, total tonnage 20,159 GRT
Co-incidence: Norman Thomas’s surviving aunt it transpires, a near neighbour of mine.
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake”….Napoleon Bonaparte
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
April 6, 2014
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, “Vietnam, 1969.” The other points his thumb behind him and says, “Dog crap, 20 feet back.”
“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. …. Edith Sitwell
I’ll see you in the bar….
April 1, 2014
Burke or Hare? The Sound of Silence.
Non-archaeologist digs up human remains – shock horror!
Archaeologist digs up human remains and puts them on show in a glass case for people to gawp at? ….Deafening silence all round, and especially from Warsaw Wally along with others of his particular ilk.
One man’s alleged body-snatcher (?) is another man’s student of prehistoric peoples and their cultures by analysis of their artefacts, inscriptions, and monuments (!) Jeez…give us a break!
“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters”… Harvey Mackay
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
March 28, 2014
A couple of treasure hunters, Fred and Bill, are hunting a field close to a main road. Fred is just about dig out a gold coin when he sees a hearse driving slowly past. He stands up, removes his headphones and cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
His friend Bill exclaims: “Wow, Fred, that’s the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
Fred replies thoughtfully: “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”
“Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game”…….Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I’ll see y’all in the bar
March 19, 2014
FID ANNOUNCEMENT TO MEMBERS… March 2014
“As most of you are aware Colin Hanson passed away in late January. At the time we decided to look into offering an alternate 3rd party liability insurance so there was a choice of groups to go with. Out of politeness and etiquette we contacted Colin’s family, with various discussions over the past month we have taken over FID itself with the families blessing. At present the whole system is on a card file index so there is a lot of work to transfer Data onto a database, so please understand we have lots to do…please have patience with us. If you have outstanding payments for renewal etc., we will deal with them ASAP. You were informed by Elaine that you will be covered until the end of this year, which is still the case. This will give us enough time to sort things, change all the stationary with all the new details, etc..
For now we will adapt what we have.For this year you will not receive any bulletins, these will start again in 2015 if all goes to plan. We did not take over any finances from Colin and his family, all that is left in the account will be donated to cancer research as requested by Colin, so we are starting completely from scratch financing things ourselves.
We will be having a dedicated phone line installed the number is yet to be issued, you can get us on mobile number 07944 464822 or email email@example.com. This is so it separates it from our home life and Central Searchers. At Elaine’s request please do not contact her anymore regarding FID… all enquiries to us. For any future correspondence please contact us on CSFID 27, Webb Road, RAUNDS, Wellingborough Northants NN9 6H
Kind Regards Richard and Gill Evans.”
I wish Central Searchers the very best of luck in getting FID back on track.
Is She Correct?
“Authoritarian political ideologies have a vested interest in promoting fear, a sense of the imminence of takeover by aliens and real diseases are useful material”…Susan Sontag
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
March 13, 2014
ME? NOT RESPONSIBLE?
I am advised that being ‘responsible’ means being nice and polite to Prof. Boor-ford, who holds the Warsaw Chair in Modern Disinformation Here goes:-Thanks Paul….(This from his blog):“The Warren Cup: A piece of mimetic craftsmanship around 1900?
“Brilliant phrase that, “mimetic craftsmanship” (metal detectorists: that means “fake”).”
I’m obliged to Paul for pointing it out. I know what mimetic means as do most detectorists I suspect, but you know what Paul’s like – he just loves a ‘larf’ with us ordinary folks! Aw, Bless him.
I don’t want to appear ‘picky’ but what do you call a man who…
- hides his identity;
- his occupation;
- his past;
- keeps schtum about his UNESCO (cash-in-hand?) odd-jobbery;
- and, who surrounds himself with the cloak of an ‘archaeologist’?
A Mimetic? Could well be, though judging from the rancid (Paul: that means putrid) content of his blog…emetic (Paul: that means causing a person or animal to vomit), might be more on the nail.
On the Subject of (Rancid) Blogs …
A Bum Steer?I can heartily recommend the above mimetic’s blog and the entry under the banner:-
Tuesday, 11 March 2014: Caveat Emptor: The Warren Cup, a piece of mimetic craftsmanship around 1900?
Here you’ll discover the so-called Warren Cup that depicts an ‘ancient’ homo-erotic scene on the side of this silver drinking vessel. Whether the cup is a forgery as is suggested, I know not, nor do I overly care, but I defer to Paul’s apparently far superior knowledge about homo-eroticism when he states, that, “Prof Giuliani observes that one of the sexual positions depicted is copied from an Arretine depiction of [explicit deleted] copulation, but the artist applied it anatomically incorrectly to [explicit deleted] copulation, thus (it is suggested) giving the forgery away. (This logic is surely only watertight if one assumes that an ancient artist depicting a homoerotic scene had actually practised [explicit deleted] him/herself.)”
Why ‘assume the logic’ Paul? It’s illogical. There’s no reason that I can see why the ‘ancient artist’ should have been a practicing gay. Then again, hypothesis (Paul: that means “supposition”) is your hallmark. For those interested further, check out his discredited Artefact Erosion Counter for details! All-in-all, I think he’s talking through the orifice he says the ‘ancient artist’ favoured – again!
GENESIS? WONDERFUL NEWS!
Taken from the Task Force Blog:-
Here’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to move the hobby up a gear Stateside. I urge you all NOT to let this unique opportunity to slip through your fingers. It matter not one jot that ‘modern’ history stretches back to around 450-years especially in New England. History is history and should be recorded at every opportunity. Native American history dates back to time immemorial.
If you lose this opportunity, then the US hobby fully deserves what will surely follow. As in the UK, hobbyists are advancing knowledge as never before. Hundreds of archaeological jobs depend on a healthy PAS system and together, great strides are being made. Only those on the loony fringe will oppose this strategy.
Neither should US legislators turn their noses up at a PAS system. The first one who picks up the ball and runs with it will carve a niche in history.
Nah, being nice to Barford ain’t for me! Don’t seem right somehow….
“The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice!”…..Dwight D. Eisenhower
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
March 9, 2014
HELPING THE SICK…GIVE GENEROUSLY
Apparently, those suffering with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) show certain characteristics which easily identify them, typically displaying some, if not all of the following traits:
- An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
- Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
- A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
- Difficulty with empathy
- Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
- Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults
- Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
- Haughty body language
- Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
- Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
- Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
- Pretending to be more important than they really are
- Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
- Claiming to be an “expert” at many things
- Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
- Denial of remorse and gratitude
The so-called ‘seven deadly sins’ of narcissism are:
- Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
- Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
- Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
- Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
- Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an “awkward” or “difficult” person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
- Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
- Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.
Should you stub your toe against, let’s say a doctrinaire anti-metal detecting/collecting blog for instance, where the writer in his/her ravings meets any of the above symptoms (1 to 16, and 1 to 7), you’ll have hit the Mother Lode. Beware though, if you value your time; there’s no benefit or profit to be had in arguing/debating with an obviously unbalanced mind. It’s treatment and/or counseling that’s needed, not argument or provocation.
Meanwhile over on the banks of the Vistula…
Our old pal continues to delight with his pisspoor blog and takes incivility and pomposity to new heights in a reply to Charles Peters who had the temerity to question the great man:-
Now you could be forgiven for thinking — particularly bearing in mind Barford’s evident enthusiasm for communist Poland where it seems the political climate was more to his liking back in 1986 – his “friends in Ukraine” who he’s so anxious to contact could well be Russian?
Our man describes himself as a: “British archaeologist living and working in Warsaw, Poland. Since the early 1990s (or even longer)……” bashfully avoiding precise dates presumably in deference to the current political tensions between Ukraine and Russia. To set the record straight, in 1986 he was sucking on the cultural teat of the former totalitarian Soviet Communist satellite state, Poland. Ironically, in today’s Ukraine, the Russian invaders have for their President the former Head of the KGB, Vladimir Putin. The KGB, the Committee for State Security, infiltrated spies to the Polish ‘Solidarity’ movement, and into the Catholic Church; and in ‘Operation X’ the KGB coordinated the declaration of martial law by General Jaruzelski’s Polish Communist Party; however, ‘Solidarity’ finally blunted the KGB’s iron grip over the Polish people in 1989 when the communists were booted out and democracy restored. Neither would it surprise me in the least if our man shared Putin’s view that the demise of the Soviet Union was the greatest geo-political catastrophe in modern times, as opposed to its nativity.
But take note! Barford is the apple of the eye of the UK’s increasingly comical Council for British Archaeology (CBA) and will remain so for as long as he wages his odious, brainless, offensive claptrap, of a mission against metal detectorists. This is the man who with his equally fatuous chum, tries vainly to breathe life into the rotting corpse of the Artefact Erosion Counter (AEC); a nutty fact-free database cocktail, blended from conjecture, speculation and fantasy. He has a penchant (metaphorically, speaking) for jerking-off the more naïve in our ranks, the self-styled ‘responsible’ ones, as much as they seem to enjoy being on the receiving end of his metaphorical ’jerkery’ — much to everyone else’s relish and glee.
In what appears to be one of his rare acts of…Yo Dude, respect! he describes me as, “a dangerous nutcase…” which draws me to the conclusion – as a fly to a turd – that he’s like a crêpe chef who can’t flip ‘em over – yep, you’ve got it…. a useless tosser! Yo Dude, No Respect!
Here on Stout Standards, we’re proud to have destroyed the credibility of Barford and Swift’s AEC by exposing it for what it really is; hilarious, meaningless twaddle. Even Swift is emerging from the darkness and into the Light of Truth by admitting that ‘maybe’ the AEC really does, ‘lack credibility’ and that ‘maybe,’ it “should be viewed with contempt.”
“What is Archaeology if not knowledge?” asks Swift. If archaeology is based on the principles of the AEC he’s answered his own question….archaeology, Nigel and Paul, is fact-free guesswork posing as…well…er…um…bullshit!
“You can’t fix stupid”…Ron White
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
March 5, 2014
February 25, 2014
EXPERTISE, OR LUCK OF THE DRAW?
So what’s your ‘High Five’ when it comes to metal detecting success? Do you set yourself high targets, or, are you a suck-it-and-see-I’ll-take-what-comes type? Or, are you a beach hunter for whom the beach is nothing less than a vast vault to which, through your skill and local knowledge, your metal detector is akin to the key on the side of a sardine can? Me? Oh, I’m with the sardines. I hunt coins.
The most well-known and successful detectorist in hobby circles is arguably, Chicago Ron. Why so? Not only does he make excellent Tekkie videos about How, Where, and When to hunt; but he puts his money where his mouth is, does the biz, and videos us the results. He is consistently successful aware of the foibles of his target areas and hunts accordingly. It’s probably fair to say that even with the kind of Mickey Mouse metal detectors that fall out of Christmas Crackers, ‘CR’ would still fill his boots with gold and put clean air between himself and a novice armed with the latest ‘Sooper-Dooper, Sat-Nav-Guided,’ jobby. He earns ‘Brownie’ points with me because he’s a firefighter and having worked with these guys in a previous life; well yeah…he’s an OK type of guy. Wouldn’t mind sharing a couple of pints with him in a decent pub.
So what’s it all about; this elusive butterfly of success? Patently, the measure of success comes in all shapes and sizes: Some of us measure it by the overall enjoyment distilled in a pleasant day out in the fresh air – in a back-to-Nature kinda way. Others see it in much the same but with the addition a few coins, clad nickels and dimes – chucked in for good measure. More often though, success is calculated by the steepness of the vertical line on the treasure graph in relation to the size and value of the ‘find,’ or the cash value of the cache, relics, or coins. Each to their own as the saying goes. The detecting hobby is all things to all men (and women).
Fly-fisherman, Charles Ritz, described success thus: No matter how good the rod, it’s all down to the hand that’s using it. Arnold Palmer attributed to his golfing triumphs to the fact that the more he practised, the luckier he seemed to become in competition. Marshall Zhukov the crusher of Hitler’s armies on the Eastern Front in WWII was more succinct: Train hard, fight easy.
Absolutely metal detecting has therapeutic qualities; I’ve never met anyone who could worry and hunt at the same time; and it’s a great way of recharging one’s health ‘batteries’ — coins or no! Health-wise, time spent meal detecting is rarely wasted.
For Terry Herbert who found the £1,600,000 ($2,400,000 approx.) Staffordshire Hoard of Anglo-Saxon gold, ‘success’ came after eighteen years in the hobby and fortuitously, while he was unemployed. Was it skill or luck that caused him to locate the treasure? Certainly he was in the right place at the right time, but had he not been au fait with the operational usage of his metal detector, he might have walked on by, and over, that fantastic hoard. The esoteric characteristic we call ‘luck’ plays a hand too, but why, or how, remains a mystery. Emperor Napoleon always asked before promoting any of his generals, “Is he lucky?”
But there’s another facet besides luck, in all this. What appears to be ‘luck’ is actually nothing of the kind. There are people in this hobby of ours who can ‘read’ a landscape with an uncanny ability, and will always come up trumps. It’s also a reality that many hobbyists are anglers, or former anglers; these people are experienced enough to look at a river or stillwater and know precisely not only where the fish are lying, but the species too. They bring this uncanny ability into treasure hunting. They’ll point to a hilltop for instance and mutter…”There!” They rely on a gut instinct to tell them where they’ll find coins, or relics. Hundreds of years ago they’d have been burnt at the stake for possessing this ability.
I’m sure this ‘gut instinct’ is present in all of us; only in some it’s just sub-surface. In others it’s less well-defined and goes unrecognized. For example, have you ever detected an area you thought would be productive and where your ‘plan’ came together? You have? Welcome to Salem! Prepare the stake, Master Witchfinder General!
If you take this ability, this experience, call it what you will, and blend it with the capabilities of modern metal detector, you’ll find you’ve got some really powerful ju-ju on tap. Indeed, the machine itself is not the catalyst, but, when combined with the extension of your ‘unseen’ ability you will find relics in the places you suspected them to be.
It’s the same with beach hunting. I live by the coast. I know its moods. If you can recognize when a beach is ‘right’ after a strong blow; the ‘right’ blow, from the ‘right’ direction; and at the ‘right’ state of the tide when nature does the digging for you, then, and only then, might you be in with a chance. Then again, you have to know when to break the ‘rules’.
Allied to all this comes the ‘techie’ stuff. What machine should I use? Should I go with Pulse Induction, or VLF? What frequency? What coil….concentric or DD? What coil size? Where will I be searching and for what targets?
Expertise or Lottery? I think this is where we came in, but bear in mind; fortune favours the brave! Mostly.
Luck is always the last refuge of laziness and incompetence….James Cash Penney
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
February 18, 2014
THE LOST 1715 TREASURE FLEET – FLORIDA
In 1712 the Spanish empire was near bankrupt. To solve the problem the Spanish assembled the richest of treasure fleets and by 1715 it consisted of five ships of the Nueva España (Mexico) fleet, and six ships of the Tierra Firme (Main Land) fleet.
Considerable quantities of silver bullion, gold ingots, precious jewels; rubies, emeralds, and pearls, along with other precious items such as goblets of silver and gold were loaded aboard the fleet at Vera Cruz, Cartagena. As further defense against pirates (English privateers) they waited until just before the hurricane season before setting off from Havana for Spain; an epic mistake.
On the evening of July 30, 1715, seven days after departing from Havana, Cuba, the ships of this fleet were lost in a hurricane near present day Vero Beach, Florida. Thousands of sailors died. During the next five years Spanish salvors recovered what some estimate as about half the total lost consignment, all the while fighting-off English privateers. Today, some of that treasure in the form of coins, gold and silver bars, cups and chalices along with jewelry still wash ashore. Do visit www.mdhtalk.org/articles/beaches/1715-fleet/1715-article.pdf? a terrifically well-informed site.
Largely due to the efforts of legendary marine treasure hunter, Kip Wagner, seven of the ships have been located but only a fraction the vast treasure has been recovered. The San Miguel, has yet to be discovered, having been separated from the treasure fleet the day before the storm broke. Carracks being smaller than galleons were used to carry treasure they being faster under full sail with greater chance of outrunning storms and the avaricious privateers. The objective being to get the treasure back to Spain with the greatest possible speed.
The richest undiscovered cargo is the San Miguel’s that awaits discovery, all $2-billion of it!
BARFORD’S MONUMENTS MEN? THE SS HERMAN GORING DIVISION?“
Due to an Allied intelligence failure,” writes archaeo-bluffer Paul Barford, “ the Medieval monastery was almost totally destroyed. Fortunately,” [my highlight] he gushes
“As the Allies pushed further north, towards the abbey of Monte Cassino, the division’s workshop detachment [the atrocity-committing SS Herman Göring Divison] under the command of Oberstleutnant Julius Schlegel, volunteered their services to the monks to remove the abbey’s precious artworks. The monks agreed, and the division’s vehicles were used to transfer the irreplaceable works of art, including paintings by Leonardo da Vinci, Titian and Raphael and the remains of St. Benedict himself. The cargo was deposited at the Vatican and was so spared destruction in the Battle of Monte Cassino. Because of Göring’s reputation as a looter of artworks, a detachment of SS military police were sent to the abbey to arrest and execute Schlegel. It was only through the persuasion of the monks and the intervention by the divisional commander on his behalf that Schlegel escaped punishment [presumably by Courts Martial] and the operation continued. In thanks, the monks of Monte Cassino celebrated a special mass, and presented Schlegel with an illuminated croll recognizing his efforts.”
Or, in Barford-speak (complete with inadvertent anti-Semitism) it all boils down to this: US = villainy/stupidity BUT the SS Herman Göring Division = the ‘good-guy art salvors’.
After the occupation of Poland by German forces in September 1939, the Nazi regime attempted to exterminate its upper classes as well as its culture. Thousands of art objects were looted, as the Nazis systematically carried out a plan of looting prepared even before the start of hostilities. Twenty-five museums and many other facilities were destroyed. The total cost of German Nazi theft and destruction of Polish art is estimated at $20-billion, or an estimated 43% of Polish cultural heritage; over 516,000 individual art pieces were looted, including 2,800 paintings by European painters; 11,000 paintings by Polish painters; 1,400 sculptures; 75,000 manuscripts; 25,000 maps; 90,000 books, including over 20,000 printed before 1800; and hundreds of thousands of other items of artistic and historical value. Germany still has much Polish material looted during World War II. For decades there have been mostly futile negotiations between Poland and Germany concerning the return of the looted property.
Barford rounds off his novel account of the battle with a final swipe at the US… “This was well before the US ‘Monuments men’ got there to try and clear up the mess the US bombing raids had made. A tragic mistake.”
Naturally any mention of war crimes committed by the Herman Göring Division (HGD) is neatly side-stepped, or any mention of the HGD being art looters of the highest order scavenging Europe and the Occupied Countries for cultural works for the ‘Fat One’ back in Berlin, and inflicting unspeakable atrocities en route.
Post war, Schegel was arrested as a suspected war criminal and looter, and it was only after the personal intervention of British Field Marshal Harold Alexander that he was released.
HGD War Crimes
According to a British Government report, the Hermann Göring Division was involved in many reprisal operations during its time in Italy. One of these atrocities occurred in the surrounding area of the village of Civitella in Val di Chiana on 6 June 1944 where 250 civilians were summarily executed. Other examples of atrocities committed by
Hermann Göring Division are on record. As Director of the Four Year Plan, Hermann Göring bore responsibility for the elimination of Jews from political life and for the destruction and takeover of Jewish businesses and property….He was quoted as saying, “I wish you had killed 200 Jews and not destroyed such valuable property”…He looted art treasures from occupied territories and arranged for use of slave labour.
Polish sources claim soldiers of the Hermann Göring Division used civilians as human shields in front of its tanks.
So let’s take a closer look at Barford’s ‘Heroes.’ Prosecutor Sir David Maxwell Fyfe cross-examining Field-Marshal Albert Kesselring at the Nuremberg War CrimesTrial raised this regarding the atrocities committed by the HGD:-
“Two German soldiers were killed and a third wounded in a fight with Partisans in the village of Civitella. Fearing reprisals, the inhabitants evacuated the village, but when the Germans discovered this, punitive action was postponed. On 29th June” – that, you will remember, Witness, was nine days after your proclamation to reinforce your order – “when the local inhabitants were returned and were feeling secure once more, the Germans carried out a well-organized reprisal, combing the neighborhood. Innocent inhabitants were often shot on sight. During that day, 212 men, women and children in the immediate district were killed. Some of the dead women were found completely naked. In the course of investigations, a nominal roll of the dead has been compiled and is complete with the exception of a few names whose bodies could not be identified. Ages of the dead ranged from one year to 84 years. Approximately one hundred houses were destroyed by fire. Some of the victims were burned alive in their homes.”
“That is the report of the United Nations War Crimes Commission on the incident. Now, Witness, do you really think that military necessity commands the killing of babies of one and people of 84?”
The HGD was active in killing non-combatants in Poland too. Some 800 troops from the HDG took part in fighting during the Warsaw Uprising in the Wola district, where mass executions of civilians occurred in connection with Hitler’s orders to destroy the city. The units involved were:
II./Fallschirm-Panzer-Regiment “Hermann Göring”
III./Fallschirm-Panzergrenadier-Regimen “Hermann Göring”
IV./Fallschirm-Panzer-Artillerie-Regiment “Hermann Göring”
It will come as no surprise at all to anyone who’s sampled Barford’s previous attempts at accuracy, or that his particular brand of anti-Americanism rears its ugly head yet again. But his previous form in this arena is dazzling: Aided by his ardent disciple and sock-puppet, Heritage Action’s, Nigel Swift, he is the co-perpetrator of one of the outstanding examples of contemporary archaeo-historical buffoonery intended to hoodwink the public into believing that millions of artefacts found by Britain’s dedicated metal detectorists are going unrecorded. Little wonder then, that what they have dubbed the Artefact Erosion Counter has morphed into one of the most laughable, widely discredited, debunked, and derided fact-free ‘databases’ of all time.
Barford and Swift would have the world believe that unlike detectorists or private collectors, they deal in facts, but on this and past form, I doubt they’d recognize ‘facts’ if they jumped up and bit them on the arse. It’s all a bit like saying the Boston Strangler wasn’t all bad because he was kind to his Ma!
Significantly, the UK’s Council for British Archaeology hasn’t chucked this émigré archaeo-bluffer and his comical puppet out of the lifeboat having fished them out of earlier stormy waters, is telling. Maybe, they fully deserve this duffer who thinks it was ‘fortunate’ the brutal, art-loving Herman Göring SS Division were on hand, though I seriously doubt the descendants of the murdered villagers of Civitella would mention the words ‘fortunate’ and ‘Herman Göring SS Division’ in the same sentence.
One certainly has to ponder the accuracy of Barford’s archaeological excavation reports, interpretations, or anything else he’s committed to paper purporting to be factual!
February 11, 2014
Déjà vu – Oliver Twist
Charles Dickens’ classic tale set in 1840’s Victorian England has perhaps, a modern day parallel. The tales’ principal character is Oliver Twist an orphan born into poverty, who on his ninth birthday is taken into the local workhouse, where in the harshest surroundings, the young Oliver toils alongside other boys picking oakum in conditions amounting to slave labour. Life is hard. The food is scant and poor; virtually starvation rations. Eventually the malnourished boys rebel and agree to draw lots; the loser must ask the well-fed workhouse bosses for second portion of their daily bowl of gruel. The task falls to Oliver, who at the next meal tremblingly comes up forward, bowl in hand, and makes his famous request: “Please, sir, I want some more”. For his troubles Oliver is sold by the workhouse bosses to an undertaker who uses Oliver as a mourner at children’s funerals.
In the end Oliver runs away to London to seek his fortune. Here he falls in with – albeit unknowingly – a band of rogues led by the arch-criminal Fagin, and his Number Two, master pickpocket, Jack Dawkins, better known by the sobriquet, the “Artful Dodger.” Significantly, Oliver’s innocent nature prevents him from recognising this hint that the boy may be dishonest. ‘Dodger’ takes Oliver under his wing provides him with a free meal and tells him of a gentleman in London who will “give him lodgings for nothing, and never ask for change”. Ensnared, Oliver lives with the gang of juvenile pickpockets in their lair at Saffron Hill for some time, unaware of their criminal occupations. He believes they make wallets and handkerchiefs.
After many adventures surviving in the savage world of the Victorian London’s underclass Oliver is finally being rescued and rehabilitated to normality.
Does any of this seem the slightest bit familiar to you? Does to me….but for the moment, precise details escape me…
Ponder and Inwardly Digest…
What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist…
I’ll See Y’all in the Bar
February 7, 2014
AN OSCAR NOMINATION? OR SIPPING FROM THE POISONED CHALICE?
“Its about time that the true “responsible” detectorists put their heads above the parapet and actually provide hard evidence that what we are doing can actually contribute to the historical record in a positive way,” writes ‘responsible’ UK detectorist, Steve Broom.
Er….umm…they have Steve, it’s called the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS) and it’s funded by HM Government and steered by the British Museum. Oh, by the way, that offensive piece about the Southern Detectorists Group being akin to shoplifters over on your pals’ Heritage Action blog has been removed. It seems on the face of it that the Malamute Saloon has done a tad more to preserve your Group’s (so far) excellent reputation than you have.
It’s good to see even with only four-and-a-bit years detecting experience under your belt, people are impressed. Paul Barford, the Warsaw-based PAS- hater, rates you highly:
“Steve Broom for example is in a different class from the majority detecting hoi polloi, and has no time either for vacant oiks like these….” Ending his tribute with:
“….Metal detecting needs more normal people [timid ones – unlike you Howland! Dick] speaking for it and engaging in intelligent discussion.”
They already are Steve. It’s called the Portable Antiquities Scheme, the same Scheme by the way, your admirer in Warsaw wants to see shut down, and who spends an inordinate amount of time insulting everyone connected with it and pooh-poohing the veracity of its database in favour of his own widely derided Artefact Erosion Counter.
Perhaps you should have a look at Barford’s blog for Monday, 11 November 2013 under the heading, Focus on UK Metal Detecting: Passionately Interested in the Past – well, not all of it. He’s less than complimentary about UK Metal detectorist, Andy Baines.
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity…
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
February 4, 2014
In his book, Hitler’s Hangman – The Life of Heydrich*, Professor Robert Gerwarth writes an interesting paragraph on page 267:
“Heydrich’s ‘educational policy’ was very much in line with Himmler’s view, articulated in 1940, that schooling for the local population in the occupied territories should be reduced to ‘simple arithmetic’ up to 500 at most; writing one’s name; a doctrine that it is divine law to obey the Germans and to be honest, industrious and good.”
Now, just for fun, replace the words ‘Germans’ with ‘archaeologists’ or ‘archaeology’ as befitting; ‘Heydrich’ with ‘Barford’, and ‘Himmler’ with ‘Swift.’ Then read the paragraph again.
*Hitler’s Hangman – The Life of Heydrich. Yale University Press (2011)
Reinhard Heydrich was the Acting Reich Protector of Bohemia and Moravia, who ruthlessly supressed the Czech nation through a systematic rigorous persecution, of torture, mass-executions, and the liquidation of Jews in the Czech and Slovak lands. On 27 May 1942 his staff car was attacked in Prague by SOE-trained Czech assassins. He died of his wounds on 4 June 1942.
Some people are under the impression I am on the Garrett payroll (oh, how I wish) on the basis that because I write (mostly) good things about their products I have a vested interest. I am not on the payroll, never have been. Being a free agent I use that which best suits my hunting needs what I consider is the best machinery for my treasure hunting needs (surf and beach hunting)….and Garrett’s machinery, especially the ATPro, ATGold, Pro-Pointer, and the Sea Hunter II pi, fit the bill nicely.
ATGold???? Beach??? Yep, top-of-the-beach, up in the dry sand – in amongst the junk where the angels fear to tread – and fitted with the small coil, or the 4.5” Sniper, it rips the guts out of the opposition. Keep it to yourself!
Why Garrett? Simply because I’ve always had a soft spot for American made machinery (not least because of the build quality) and have used Garrett machines for over three decades; back in the ‘80’s though they were unbeatable on depth but were always ‘ironed-out’ on ferrous-infested roman/Celtic habitation sites. Here, Tesoro’s Golden Sabre ruled okay (especially with the small coil), lifting out tiny roman silver and gold coins with ease from amongst the trash. However, away from iron-infested habitation sites, Golden Sabres lacked depth. Back then, the cognoscenti usually carried two machines: One for depth, the other for iron-infested habitation sites, so it was not uncommon to see two machines being carried. Usually, this would be either an Arado 120b, or a Garrett Groundhog, backed up with a Golden/Silver Sabre. The Compass 77b was seldom outclassed.
But time moves on, and top-end hardware prices are up in the Jet Stream with Minelab’s all-singing-all-dancing thingummy-jig, and Garrett’s ATX, costing an arm-and-a-leg. The question is…are they worth the bread? Having laid out two Grand’s worth of one’s ‘hard-earned’ dosh, what’s the chance of initial outlay recovery, and over what timescale? I simply don’t know. The answer to that conundrum depends entirely on the experience of who’s using the machine.
Previously to owning the ATPro, a Garrett ACE250 was my constant companion, which, when fitted with the larger coil was peerless on the beach over the wet, and the dry sand. When equipped with the 4.5-inch Super Sniper coil it opened up the junky ‘no-go’ beach areas much like the key on a tin of sardines. The ACE250 is a formidable beach machine and in the right hands, outperforms machines costing four times the price.
But like all metal detectors, the new breed of expensive high-end machines, and certainly in a beach context, will only find the ‘goodies’ where the ‘goodies’ are likely to exist; they won’t find ‘goodies’ where they ain’t! Though according to some ‘experts’ the precise opposite rules!
What then, you may be wondering is a good beach result? In my part of the world where miles of golden sands attract hundreds of thousands of day-trippers and holiday makers, £15 -£30 in a daily three-hour coinshooting session is about the norm plus a few ‘trinkets’.
It’s always useful to make yourself known to the Beach Wardens’ Office who’ll make a record of any identifiable ‘finds’ and refer the losers to you. I have had some stunning offers to detect prime sites inland from grateful owners reunited with their trinkets…but that’s another story!
Often the Beach Wardens will roar up alongside on their quad-bikes or dune buggies with a request for me to search a part of the beach for a day-tripper’s lost mobile phone, digital camera, even lost jewelry. I remember one time while having a tea-break back at my car, an elderly man and his wife parked in nearby in a huge 4×4 came over to me saying that they could see I was a metal detecting enthusiast and could I advise them where they might get a repair done on their grandson’s machine. The gentleman gave me his phone number and I called over a couple of days later to an address in the New Forest; took the machine away, and had repaired what was just a very minor fault. On my return he was so pleased he gave me permission to search many acres of his prime arable land any time I wanted. We became firm friends and I and my wife often enjoyed a hearty Sunday lunch at his sumptuous farmhouse.
One day I met a Member of Parliament strolling the beach with his wife and young family. His son was fascinated and a new recruit was in the offing. During the ensuing conversation he was aghast at the opposition to our hobby especially when I referred him to certain ‘anti’ websites and commentators, as proof of my veracity.
You never know who you’ll meet on a beach!
EINSTEINS’S LAW OF RELATIVITY UPDATED(0 x 0 = 11,000,000)
There are many motivations for doing archaeology, theft, and the chance of making a fast buck not least among them as some court cases highlight, but when pressed, the Arkies might claim to have 50-50 agreements with one farmer but not with another and so …..
“That’s very rare,” the Arkies say without knowing if that’s factual: “don’t insult the rest of us,” they’d squeal. But actually it’s merely the Arkies saying they are no more saintly than anyone else (A Member of Parliament once told me that he knew detectorists didn’t have the monopoly of the heritage villainy).
Therefore, if 1,000 randomly selected heritage professionals were asked, “if you could double your money by saying you found something in Harrow when you really excavated it in Jarrow, would you do it?” and let’s suppose ‘X’-number of them said, ‘Yes’. Now, unless you can precisely define what that ‘X’-number is, which you can’t, you’d have to accept there’s a degree of archaeological dishonesty that can never be known for sure. The pressing question for Britain’s public must then be: How can we be sure that all heritage professionals are not involved in artefact theft? You’d also have to accept that an unknown portion of those asked, would have lied. If you then attribute figures to the unknowns, then the equation is meaningless. It’s also meaningless if you don’t attribute numbers or percentages.
Nevertheless, this is precisely the moronic mathematical nonsense published recently by Heritage Action in their on-going campaign to discredit the Portable Antiquities Scheme and detectorists in general.
Bearing in mind this equation comes from the same stable that dreamed up the Artefact Erosion Counter it soon becomes clear its data is utterly valueless to anyone – apart from those who believe in fairies – when the ‘AEC’s data’ is deliberately falsified with numbers of artefacts allegedly stolen, or not reported. What makes it all the more astounding is this garbage comes from people who claim archaeology is a ‘science’…ho, bloody, ho!
TAKE A GOOD LOOK at this behaviour, for these are precisely the sort of people the CBA has as partners and to whom they want us all to entrust the archaeological record. Take a good look and decide what you think about that as a “policy”.
In order to have the stuff of a tyrant, a certain mental derangement is necessary…
Emile M. Cioran
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
January 26, 2014
WHY NOT A PORTABLE ANTIQUITIES SCHEME FOR THE US?
This from the PAS intro:-
The Portable Antiquities Scheme is currently developing its potential as a tool for “lifelong learning”. The Scheme’s database now holds nearly 700,000 objects [soon to reach 1-million.Ed] and over 300,000 images. The records of these objects that our staff, volunteers and the public contribute are quite often the only chance we will get to document their existence. The database provides us with a record of their attributes and an image (if available.
We make our data available freely, under a creative commons licence, for the academic and lay communities to use for their research. We also have a team of finds specialists (the National Finds Advisers) who are available to answer queries on specific periods/ object types.
Quite apart from the high academic value the Scheme represents, mostly as a result of metal detecting activity — not archaeological endeavor — the UK’s PAS is the perfect template for a US-style version.
A PAS serves several functions not least of them addressing that which Rob Bendus, State Historic Preservation Officer and director of the DOS Division of Historical Resources has told the Press: “Artifacts are a finite, nonrenewable resource. When they are taken, destroyed or stored in private collections without being documented, they, and the history they represent, are gone forever.” Once recorded, items take on another dimension: The State gets to see, inspect, all that’s found, and able to purchase from finders (who may wish to donate) whatever it wants.
Additionally, a PAS does not make criminals out of its citizens for no better reason than they want to collect artefacts from public lands, collecting that which only a small minority of academics (who also thieve) want for themselves. Bendus ironically proves the value of a UK-style PAS-type scheme, a scheme covering all the bases: At a stroke, it shrugs off two legal anomalies: firstly, by allowing private collecting from public lands (an ersatz crime dreamed-up by academics to protect their interests). Secondly, the State is sanitized of pandering to, or supporting, the totalitarian dogma promoted by the same politico-archaeologists working to (socialist) agendas; the anathema of all that’s good and wholesome in a free America.
The State gets to see and record all that’s found and is able to purchase from finders whatever it wants. In addition, such a scheme does not make criminals of its citizens and at a stroke rids the State of pandering to, or supporting, totalitarian (Soviet-style socialist) dogma.
Since the introduction of the PAS in the UK, the number of ‘Nighthawking’ crimes; the clandestine excavation of artefacts under the cover of darkness is according to the £66,000 government-funded Nighthawking Report, averages 1.5 incidences per month out of the 166,000 protected ancient sites. More people are booked by the police for riding bicycles at night without lights!
For the detectorist, the PAS is a boon. Every artefact recorded has a provenance. Should the State not want to buy it, it’s returned to the finder with a written provenance proving it was legally found, a fact that adds confidence in the buyer and in the value to the piece itself. Indeed, it further protects the casual finder, or non-detectorist, from a night in the slammer!
Who would anyone oppose such a brilliant scheme? Just take a look at Florida’s bureaucracy (for example) and the academics (for example), who feed the monster. Lisa MacIntyre excepted!
Now she’s a go-ahead gal, who, with your support, could pioneer ground-breaking changes across the States. Get together with Lisa and let the ‘wagons roll!’
In the UK the PAS by virtue of it detectorists, is pivotal in providing fabulous research data:-
Research project types:Level of research:-
- Undergraduate 50
- Master’s degree 109
- PhD level research 73
- Large scale research AHRC 13
- Major publication 18
- Magazine or journal article 5
- Desk based assessment 14
- Major research (Leverhulme funded) 2
- Personal research project 78
- Archaeology society project 2
- External project (UK only) 9
- External project (International) 3
- A-Level archaeology project 5
- Total projects: 381
The implementation won’t be easy as you’ll be fighting an influential but academically bankrupt opposition (a bit like Wally & Harry). The State of Florida, for example, can only benefit and bring archaeologists, historians, collectors and detectorists, closer together for the good of all.
Why Not a Portable Antiquities Scheme for the US? No reason at all…
It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
January 26, 2014
HOG TIED AND THROWN!
Steve Broom is a nice guy. He’s a driving force in the Southern Detectorists Group (SDG), a friendly band of presumably, southern English detectorists, who go about their business in an honourable and legal fashion.
But here any pretense of legality ends. Thanks to Paul Barford, and Nigel Swift, and the phony shit-stirring, farmer Silas Brown, all members of the SDG are branded (somewhat libelously, you might think) as thieves. The SDG have not contested that label.
Mr. Broom, instead of going for the legal, libel, jugular (for whatever reason), chose to ignore and defend his groups’ position by assuaging Barford with a toe-curlingly embarrassing series of comments on both Barford’s and Swift’s blogs. Broom’s comments are the stuff of cross-channel ferry sick-bags; a real gift to the more seasoned, political savvy, anti-detectorist, anti-collector, Paul Barford – and I don’t begrudge him one iota for rubbing Broom’s nose in the shit – all’s fair in love and war. Broom the political boy, played a man’s game and lost – spectacularly.
In short, he’d allowed himself – on behalf of his group – to be kicked in the balls by allowing Barford to tag him and his group with the badge —THIEF. Without any defense to the contrary, the Southern Detectorist Group is, as farmer Silas Brown, says, populated by thieves.
Game, set, and match to Barford.
There is no sin except stupidity…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
January 22, 2014
January 22, 2014
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!
Metal detecting, relic hunting, treasure hunting – call it whatever – will always have its detractors and critics in varying degrees of hostility in much the same way that for example, anglers, huntsmen, shooters, meat eaters, and even professional boxers, attract the brickbats.
Of those opposed to whatever it is they campaign to outlaw, many are lucid, espousing sincere, and (in their minds) logical reasons for their actions while others are clearly deranged and in need of psychotherapy.
But when I take the occasional peek at two of our hobby’s arch-critics – Paul Barford, and Nigel Swift’s puerile Heritage Action blogs – another category emerges. Here are two individuals who lapse into regular insults, sometimes personal, displaying unsurprisingly, an arrogant disregard for facts about our pastime and who’d have the world believe they are ‘experts’ in the matter. When challenged about their views they immediately lapse into ‘victim mode’ attempting to garner sympathy. They are I’m afraid, of that strata of humanity that I’d wouldn’t urinate over even if they were on fire and I’m sure they feel likewise should I spontaneously combust.
Barford for example, has described hobbyists on his blog (in one of his less vitriolic tirades) as ‘slack-jaws’; another term for ’in-breds’ with all the connotations of incest. Though he’s of little importance and influences no-one, why should anyone really bother about the invectives he hurls scattergun fashion at a legal hobby? Well, I do! And so do a few others.
My hobby, your hobby, is legal, healthy, and wholesome, and don’t you ever forget it. Be proud of it. The fact he objects to it (and who’s he anyway?) is his problem and when we meet, we will I’m sure, have a ‘frank and forthright’ exchange of views. In the meantime, I’m not going to sit back and allow anyone, least of all him, to promulgate the suggestion that I, nor any of my detecting pals, are the fruits of unlawful sexual coupling. Neither am I ever going to let his insults go unchallenged and neither should you! The fact that the Council for British Archaeology has aligned itself with him and therefore his views, puts them in my firing line too!
Perhaps the CBA’s Patron, the Prince of Wales, heir to the British throne, might like to explain to us why he supports (by association) Barford’s assertion that a sizeable number of his mother’s subjects (our present Queen) are the results of incest – ‘slack-jaws’- simply because they use metal detectors?
HE FLOATS LIKE A WASP AND STINGS LIKE A BUTTERFLY!
“I reckon the BM [British Museum] after all those years of liaison got it right, they are partnering “Treasure Hunters” seeking as Mike Heyworth says, to deplete the archaeological record for personal profit.” Yep, it’s the arch metal detecting hater, Paul Barford, sounding off again. Anyway, what’s wrong with the BM partnering Treasure Hunters? Nothing! Depleting the archaeological record for personal profit? Nothing wrong with that either!
Curiously, though, the CBA maintains a link on its website to the Portable Antiquities Scheme, the same scheme that, according to Heyworth, aids and abets the alleged rape of the UK’s archaeological record. It’s a bit like the FBI having a link on its website to The Mob.
Of course, when one realizes this is the same Mike Heyworth who dashed to Barford’s defence to shore-up Barford’s flagging Artefact Erosion Counter – where propaganda and fact-free bunkum elbowed out archaeological precision – such as it is – shortly before it fell flat on its arse, then everything drops into place.
If you think the Task Force, or the FMDAC are doing a poor job for you, just imagine what it must be like having these buffoons in your corner during a title fight!!!!!
BETTER READ, THAN DEAD?
“Furthermore from my own point of view, and I lived right through it, Communism (as such) was a weak force in Poland with mainly symbolic meaning even in the late 1980s, and was not the only thing defining Poland, Polishness and what was happening on the streets and elsewhere.” There is no end it seems to the utter, absolute drivel vomited by this man Barford. It’s all so typical of the apologist claptrap spewed by Leftist academics; a testament to misconceived idealism among Britain’s intelligentsia in the 1930s and to the futility of MI5’s hunt for Britain’s Communist traitors. Those who betrayed the West; Art historian Anthony Blunt, Diplomats Guy Burgess and Donald Maclean, MI6 officer George Blake, MI6 agent Kim Philby, and the former UN translator, John Cairncross, serve alongside Aldrich Ames, the renegade CIA officer who sold the US to the Soviets, are the perfect role models for treachery.
Unlike Barford, many Poles fought (and died) to rid themselves of the burden of Communist oppression so as to experience the warm embrace of democracy; the embrace Barford so willingly surrendered for a hand-in-blouse grope with cold Communism.
That ”weak force…” as Barford bashfully refers to it, murdered (among others) Polish priest Fr. Jerzy Popieluszko in the following circumstances: A car accident was organised to kill him on 13th October 1984 but the plot went awry. He was then kidnapped on the 19th October 1984, beaten to a pulp, then murdered by three Security Police officers who dumped his battered body into the Vistula Water Reservoir near Wloclawek from where it was recovered on 30th October that year.
The assassination of the good priest made world headlines two years before the metal-detector hating Barford took up with the floozy of Communism in 1986. Whether he failed to notice the manner of how the Polish secret police dealt with dissidents, is unclear but his enthusiasm for a life in the Worker’s Utopian State remained, apparently, undiminished.
Perhaps Barford could explain to Popieluszko’s relatives precisely how, “Communism (as such) was a weak force in Poland…” I doubt he has the capacity to take on board why so many — and I am one — regard him as a clown. Nearly everything he espouses connected with heritage affairs, and especially anything to do with metal detecting or private collecting, will always be for the purposes of accuracy…derisory.
The Council for British Archaeology — who on the one hand accuses detectorists of imprecision — yet is the comically creaky academic crutch for Barford’s now widely-discredited (not to mention widely ridiculed) Artefact Erosion Counter; the unscientific exercise in baloney so beloved by Nigel Swift of the rag-bag Heritage Action group and its posse of acolytes. Barford is apparently well-respected by David Gill (dubbed by the less-reverential as the ‘Ginger Whinger’) of the University Campus, Suffolk, at whose personal invitation Barford tiptoed back to the UK to hold the now famously pisspoor lecture about heritage looting in East Anglia.
The Bowery Boys live!
Down on the farm at Heritage Action where regular anti-detecting contributor, farmer Silas Brown, holds court on their blog attempting to persuade landowners and farmers what a thieving bunch of swines we all are, has gone tits up and Silas is looking not so much the farmer, but more the village idiot (nothing new here then you might think).
Old Silas you see, scribes in his earthy column, mordant manure as ‘Exhibit One’ from his latest dispatch shows: “The Southern Detectorists Group detects 20 farms and in no case do they hand the finds to the farmers at the end of their digs. I’m only a humble farmer, less educated or socially responsible than the average detectorist, but to me that’s scandalous” adding somewhat libellously M’learned Friends might think, “And it’s not just me. Tesco’s [a fine UK supermarket chain. Dick] don’t like people taking things home without going through the check-out either.” So now we know – the Southern Detectorists Group is entirely populated by thieves. What do Heritage Action readers make of Silas’s bile?
Natasha Hendridge, commenting in reply to Silas on the 19th January at 12:42, gored him like a bull in heat and the blood flowed: “And you are most likely just like the other greedy farmers such as the one at Oldport farm that are willing to sell of their land to build house right up against a nationally important Hillfort – Disgraceful. Do not expect any sympathy from me or anyone else who can see what a shady bunch of money grabbers you really are.”
Oh dearie me…not quite the reaction Heritage Action had expected – one of their own slagging-off a farmer for being greedy! In a near panic-driven damage limitation exercise twenty-five minutes later at 13:07, HA replied patronisingly:
“Natasha, If you read more of Farmer Brown’s contributions to the Journal you’ll realise he’s a literary device. And a saint!”
My God! Farmer Silas Brown is a fictional character ? Huh? Can it be that everything grumpy old Silas Brown has ever written has been the rabid musings of an anonymous imposter? It’s all been fiction? But hang on a moment…Heritage Action’s got previous form in the Fiction Stakes. Their previous outing on heavy going (and failed to finish) was with the Artefact Erosion Counter, where despite a serious lack of credible data (it was all made-up) purported to show how squillions of artefacts were being hoiked out of the ground despite the scrupulous accuracy of the government-backed and funded Portable Antiquities Scheme that decisively, proved otherwise. The PAS shows what jolly good chaps detectorists really are having been rightfully referred to as ‘Heritage Heroes’ by Britain’s Culture Minister.
Surely Heritage Action wouldn’t lower itself to fibbing about important heritage matters for propagandist purposes simply to bolster their anti-metal detecting stance? Certainly looks like it! If they are prepared to portray Silas Brown as a bona fide farmer, what credence can be placed on anything these people say? Not a lot, quite clearly. Worse still, if they gild the lily when ‘advising’ landowners, how can anyone be certain of their veracity in anything else?
So, if you are a farmer or landowner and you’ve been following the Silas Brown column, now shown to be fiction….YOU’VE BEEN HAD FOR A MUG – BIG STYLE! This Heritage Action outfit are people who would have you believe the heritage is safer in their hands than yours. Maybe you might consider more seriously when any of these uninsured, bobble-hatted buffoons come whining for permission to field walk (read; denude) your pastures of valuable flint tools and pottery shards. As Silas Brown said of the supermarket chain, that like you, they, “Don’t like people taking things home without going through the check-out either.”
He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave….
See you in the bar!
January 5, 2014
THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS….2013…A MAJOR VICTORY FOR TEKKIES!
It was a good year for Tekkies on both sides of The Pond. Without the help of US or UK representative national bodies (who, as usual, are struck mute on any controversial subject)…we…that’s Stout Standards and ironically, with the unwitting help of its main architect, the anti-metal detecting archaeo-blogger, Paul Barford, who describes himself as a…”Sartorial subversive living and working in the very centre of Warsaw Poland,” finally laid to rest one of the biggest lies in archaeology (apart from the Piltdown Man fiasco…the Hitler Diaries debacle) the ludicrous Artefact Erosion Counter (AEC). This carefully contrived deception was finally exposed as a very unscientific; anti-metal detecting propaganda-driven fantasy, masquerading as pseudo-scientific archaeology, or more accurately perhaps, to use the vernacular of the obscene; complete, and utter bullshit, from start to finish.
Nevertheless, it was initially, powerful and convincing bullshit. The final bonus, or icing on the cake, came with the Council for British Archaeology’s (CBA’s) headlong flight to shore-up the Erosion Counter’s flagging veracity with its tacit approval for the Goebbels-like trickery when the AEC came under public and probing scrutiny. In the event, the CBA (Patron HRH The Prince of Wales) came out of it covered with excrement a somewhat less dignified image than its self-appointed role as the august champion of accurate, heritage methodology; never again could British archaeology point an accusing finger at metal detecting hobbyists and say… ‘J’accuse’. The trap had been sprung.
At a stroke, the CBA’s Director, Dr Mike Heyworth consigned the CBA to the role of ‘heritage pantomime dame’. Were I batting for the CBA’s anti-metal detecting team (and most CBA members are it appears), I’d not be satisfied with anything less than having his testicles on a platter for creating such an unholy mess – he’d have to go! Indeed I’d want anyone connected with this Erosion Counter staked out over an anthill.
Does or should this victory resonate with US hunters? Perhaps not at first glance, but, seeing as some of the more rabid of US archaeologists would figuratively beat to death any metal detectorist they encounter, and would have no compunction in using the deceitful AEC data as the foundation to promote State-wide ‘anti’ legislation, then yes, it is pertinent. You can now say, hand on heart, the AEC is a dead duck. The AEC was proven to be guesstimation-based.
2014 Looks Even Better
The UK’s Federation of Independent Detectorists (annual subs £4.50) and it’s phenomenal £10,000,000 Third Party Liability Insurance cover, and ID Pass, is just about the one organization that resolves anything. I fully recommend membership.
Contact: Hon. Sec Colin Hanson http://www.fid.newbury.net/…And PLEASE enclose a stamped addressed envelope (keeps costs to a minimum).
Still Clinging to the Wreckage!
There’s an old press adage that when the legend is greater than the facts – print the legend! Never was this old saw better demonstrated than by Heritage Action’s online pisspoor blog, Heritage Journal (HJ). They report that:
“English Heritage Chief Simon Thurley has just said there is evidence that many of those who dig up archaeologically rich sites looking for valuable artefacts are … “habitual offenders” who “trawl English Heritage’s own databases of protected…….”
Er….“Just said?” Well actually, no it wasn’t, “Just said”. Factually, Thurley made his comments (though somewhat and unsurprisingly twisted by HJ then shepherded towards their own propaganda) on 26 December 2012. Accurate reporting? Hardly. Neither was this cutting edge news, though laughingly, the scribbler who
penned committed this nonsense wisely remains anonymous goes on to reinforce the ‘facts’ with….wait for this….the already disgraced and proven lie-graph; the Artefact Erosion Counter.
Fortune and love favors the brave…
I’ll see y’all in the bar…HAPPY NEW YEAR!
December 30, 2013
HERITAGE INACTION ’14
The ad hoc, membership-free, culture collective…
For middle-class, Leftist, bleeding heart liberals, with grey stubbly beards, dirty boots, baggy trousers and sweaters…we say, COME AND JOIN US: Men too are equally welcome!
Upcoming diary dates:
Attractions include an impromptu gathering at a Neolithic site (date to be determined) where we will be flag-trashing and burning an effigy of a Culture Minister, to be followed with dancing around the ancient stones, wassailing, quaffing organic mead, and a supper of brown rice, and green lentils, followed by a reading from ‘Gone With The Wind’ and ‘Das Kapital.’
His Eminence, The Grand Wizard, Shaman Pavel, will be attending to give His Blessing to the throng who will light the pyre beneath the Culture Minister’s effigy and begin the ceremonial torching of the American, British, and Israeli flags.
Diana Boor-ish: I am not an archaeologist nor do I know anything about the subject, being by default a Vegan water-colourist (I so hate fossil-based oils). However I am surprised to learn from a US blogger that so many people engaged in archaeology owe their livelihoods to the metal detecting community such as FLO’s and allied support staff. I read somewhere too, local authorities rarely, if ever, finance excavations, but archaeologists scrounge vast sums of money from Lottery funding? Can this really be true? Are they really scroungers? Does the heritage owe so much to the people you vilify? Is private collecting of ancient artefacts or Japanese prints incompatible with archaeology?
Nigel S: Oh, you’ve been my right hand for so many years now and your questions are as usual Diana, razor-sharp. I always throb in anticipation of you. Actually, Diana, the term ‘metal detecting community’ is not one we experts readily encourage, preferring the less accurate, ‘thieving bastard scumbags.’ Nevertheless, Di, it’s still really good to hear from you. Yes, Di, ever since we politicised archaeology we have succeeded in forcing dim-witted, er, sorry, forward-thinking governments and Lottery mandarins into a policy of, ‘Open your wallets and say after us, help yourself’. Archaeology today, is heavily camouflaged as rescue work, portrayed to an ignorant public as being of vital importance. The downside being that some in the heritage circus do owe their lifestyles to the aforementioned, ‘thieving bastard scumbags.’ Impressive eh, Diana?
Y’know Diana, we have been very successful in forcing developers to absorb all costs incurred at the initial excavation stages, then passing these on to unsuspecting customers and buyers in the form of increased final charges. People and governments, you know Diana, must be forced to accept that archaeology is vitally important; not least that it keeps us all in clover. Currently, archaeology in these straightened times has not suffered to the same degree as the medical services, social services, care of the elderly, or social housing. We are awash with dosh but the wrong people have it — all those portable antiquities yobbos.
I hope this answers your query, Diana. Feel free to collect antiquities…we all do… even from the ‘thieving bastard scumbags’ but only if the artefact is recorded on our Artefact Erosion Counter. One of our number, even removed stones from a roman site to build a roman fireplace at his home. Added thousands to the price! Don’t worry your pretty little head dear about the lies written on a US blog near you!!
Peter Triplet: Gosh, Peter, I’m a detectorist and you’ve really opened my eyes to my wicked ways. I always imagined that ‘archaeology’ was a Cinderella science; surely the sheer brilliance of the Artefact Erosion Counter (a Monty Python Award winner) disproves this? It’s sooo accurate, and if I didn’t know better I’d say the figures had been, to use the correct scientific term, ‘hoiked’, out of thin air – but I’m sure you’d never stoop to such subterfuge.
Nigel S: Hi Peter, gosh, we have so much in common, what a co-incidence, eh? I’m so pleased at your interest Peter, as we don’t get many replies, or indeed, comments on this blog except from the usual
wan*er, oops, sorry, regular contributor. Let me answer as best I can, Peter. Allow me, if you will Peter, to lapse into the vernacular of the ‘thieving bastard scumbags’, a community who denude our, er…the privately-owned heritage, who then report everything they find to the PAS where the details of almost a million artefacts are lodged, and who then have the effrontery to question our highly developed bullsh, whoops, I mean methods and funding. Whereas, our Artefact Erosion Counter shows beyond any shadow of doubt that over 100-zillion artefacts have been ‘hoiked’ out of the earth and gone unrecorded in the last two weeks alone!! Contrary, Peter, to what the Thugwits (‘thieving bastard scumbags), may say, archaeology does not make you go blind, nor are its practitioners Conservatives. In an ideal society Peter, all land would belong to the People and all antiquities nationalised.
I must add also, Peter, that if you become a target of vile personal insults by the aforementioned, ‘thieving bastard scumbags’, for no better reason than you’ve called them ‘thieving bastard scumbags, (which we strongly encourage), always counter-accuse them of inciting violence against you and your family; then fall back into what we at Heritage Inaction call ‘Victim Mode’; it’s a tried and tested tactic – intended to garner public sympathy — sometimes known as Wally’s Gambit, or, Harry’s Stratagem.
Our next workshop (for Leftist, vegetarian, Gulag enthusiasts) Peter, will be the ‘Invective Workshop,’ which will include methods of portraying oneself as a Thugwit’s victim. We are fortunate in having Nigella Beard, 98, (holder of the Zimmer Frame in Archaeological Absurdity) in attendance, lecturing about what to do when cautioned for wasting police time. Dress code is hair shirts and sandals.
Hat tip to Comrade Stalin.
December 21, 2013
A LITTLE CHRISTMAS CHEER THAT WILL, I HOPE, RAISE A SMILE OR TWO OVER THE FESTIVE SEASON:-
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”
ADVICE FOR THE JESTERS
Let’s hear it for two mirth makers who have kept us entertained and laughing throughout the year: The pisspoor archaeo-bloggers Warsaw Wally and Heritage Harry. Just for them, here are twenty-three pieces of grammatical advice, innit!
- Avoid alliteration. Always
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
- Employ the vernacular
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive
- Contractions aren’t necessary
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos
- One should never generalize
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches
- Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous
- Be more or less specific
- Understatement is always best
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
- One-word sentences? Eliminate
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake
- The passive voice is to be avoided
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else
This is the alleged transcript of the actual conversation of a US naval ship with the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995 – radio conversation released by Chief of Naval Operations 10/10/95.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second biggest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change YOUR course 15 degrees north. That’s one five degrees north, or counter measures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES..
• Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people–whether they are employed or not.
• At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
• Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
• If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
• Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
• Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
•It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
• You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
• Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
• When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
“An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger”…..Dan Rather
To all my global readers, bar two; have a very merry Christmas and a happy, prosperous, and lucrative 2014!
December 12, 2013
WALLY’S WACKY WORLD!
The Great Lie EXPOSED at Last!! Wally’s AEC Finally Exposed as 24-Carat Tosh!
While Warsaw-based Paul Barford and his drippy UK handmaiden, Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift, are at great pains to rubbish the UK’s world beating Portable Antiquities Scheme along with everything and everyone connected with it, they have been caught fairly and squarely with their knickers round their ankles ready for a shafting of epic proportions. Now that their fact-free and heavily discredited Artefact Erosion Counter is shown to be a fraudulent tissue of lies, Barford, when pressed on the AEC’s accuracy comes up well short — as we all knew he would — unable to answer the salient questions.
This AEC nonsense of theirs, peddled as being ‘scientific’ by these two laughingstocks purports to show, or more accurately, to dupe the casual observer into believing, that the number of artefacts, ‘hoiked’, as their pseudo-scientific jargon has it, from the ground, by Britain’s detectorists, is somehow factual; but is all a lie! And they’ve even sucked-in the CBA to their web of lies and inaccuracies.
The following foot-in-mouth gem from Barford’s PACHI blog exposes once and for all, the fraudulence of the AEC, exposed as a lie on the internet by an anonymous questioner. Read and ENJOY how Barford squirms and tries to parry and defend what has turned out to be the biggest hoax since the Piltdown Man. Looks like Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift has done a runner to put some distance between him and the truth leaving his co-conspirator covered in crap!
Cop a load of this and ENJOY!
Monday, 9 December 2013
“Focus on UK Metal Detecting: That Ten Millionth Object”Question posed by “Anonymous”:
“The acid test to prove the Erosion Counter’s inaccuracy is to demand details of say, artefact number, 10 million and one. Where was it found, what is it, who found it, and when[?]
“Well the rate the HE Artefact Erosion Counter has been ticking away means (as I make it) that the ten millionth and first object would have been found a little after one in the afternoon on Wednesday 16th September 2009, while I was in Egypt. The object recorded on the PAS database most likely at that time was Record ID: LANCUM-0F97C8 found at Robin Hoods House, Burnley Lancs. The name of the finder is unknown. This was something like the PAS’ “421607th object” (and 268883rd record). The ten millionth and first object dug up by artefact hunters since 1975 which was dug up in a field on the same day may never have been reported to the PAS.”
COMMENT: Here’s the proof if proof were needed that the Artefact Erosion Counter is nothing more than pure tosh. The PAS is fact-based, not a propagandist fantasy like the AEC. The AEC is phony and now, thanks to YOU, Barford, the world knows it as well! What’s even better — to my mind at least — is that the Council for British Archaeology which is for ever banging the anti-detectorist drum and not widely known for its pro-detecting stance, and who threw its weight behind you, Swift, and the Artefact Erosion Counter (now exposed as utter hogwash) have thanks to your sterling efforts, come up smelling of manure! Never again can the CBA accuse the detecting fraternity of inaccuracy. Well done old son (Oooh, Mikey, you ought to be more careful who you climb into bed with!). Now, thanks to YOU, Barford, the CBA have been made to look utter fools in backing fantasy over fact. I am delighted…I’ve waited over thirty years for this moment, and, ironically, it’s all down to YOU! God Bless you, Sir!
Oh, what an asset to archaeology you are. What a star! Whether they’ll be drinking your health in York tonight is anyone’s guess; but rather suspect the detecting community will certainly be raising a glass! I imagine too, that a certain Doctor of our mutual acquaintance and his team will be bouncing off the walls in delight, and in fits of laughter, in downtown Bloomsbury tonight.
Large ones all round!
Hat tip to ‘Anonymous’…
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits…
I’ll see y’all in the bar
December 5, 2013
A SIGN OF THE DIMES?
Tales of treasures lost and fortunes found litters American history. Many of the tales dating to well over a century ago are born out of the days known as the Wild West. It’s the stuff of Hollywood legend and matinee idols, of the kind that made screen heroes out of Randolph Scott (a particular favourite), Gary Cooper (and you didn’t mess with him when he’d had more than two-fingers of Rub o’ the Brush), war hero Audie Murphy (Shane), and Rory Calhoun (known for his portrayal of The Texan) notwithstanding his time as a hoodlum who robbed a ‘jeweler’s store, stole a car, drove it across a state line making it a federal offence. He did three years in the Springfield, Missouri, penitentiary, finishing his incarceration in San Quentin). He made good and became a movie star. But my all-time favourite, was Ray Danton, star of The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond (1960) and The George Raft Story. All these guys added to the romantic mystique of the pioneer West where truth and fiction blended seamlessly. However….
One particular treasure tale still remains cloaked in controversy. It concerns the so-called Colorado Dimes Incident, where barrels of freshly minted, silver 1907 Barber Dimes, reckoned today to be worth around $4-million to the finder, went AWOL in mysterious circumstances. So what makes these particular Barbers so special? Though some 4,080,000 were struck from 90% silver and 10% copper bearing the ‘D’ of the Denver mint, few ‘D’ Barbers exist today in really good condition, whereas the lost coins if found will be in excellent condition and highly prized. “This coin is tough to find in AU and MS” according to the David Lawrence Rare Coins Blog.
Numismatists are divided in their opinions; some reckon that the 1907 Barber Dime is, inexplicably, one of the rarest American coin types, especially in Fine condition even though over four million were minted. Others say precisely the opposite. Today, just a handful exist in reasonably good condition. So who’s right? Depends who you listen to.
The story goes that in 1907, a shipment of these silver Barbers Dimes, were packed in a number of barrels at the Denver Mint, Colorado, and put aboard a Phoenix-bound wagon train. Neither they, nor any of the wagon train crew arrived at the intended destination. Somewhere along the trail they and the Dimes vanished from the face of the earth. Speculation abounds as to their fate: Were they prey to outlaws? Or did the wagon crew make off with them, or, as some treasure hunters believe, the wagon train fell victim to the treacherous terrain, possibly toppling into Black Canyon. Maybe even, the wagon train was swamped as it tried to ford the Gunnison River. My money (yeah, I know, a dumb-ass Limey), is on the latter and somewhere close to the Gunnison River’s Diversion Dam.
No one knows for sure the shipment’s precise fate, but if you could get your hands on the contents of those barrels you could be looking at a great payday at today’s prices. Good luck!
IT’S WACKY WALLY TIME!
In one of his poorly written, near impenetrable blogs, Barford again rants and rages at Tekkies, rounding off his outburst with the best throwaway line in years:
“Tekkie-Apologetic Winter [he means the excellent writer, John Winter] and his lowbrow-conspiracy-theory fellows are really getting pathetic with their childish denials. Just what do they take the rest of us for?”
I’m not sure about the rest Barford, but I know what many take you for (including some arkies) and it rhymes with Rick!
Laughter will be bereaved when intellectual snobbery dies…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 30, 2013
TARRED WITH THE SAME BRUSH?
The Daily Telegraph (November 27) reported that damage to a cricket pitch in the village of Lacock, Wiltshire, was the work of “treasure hunters” armed with metal detectors who’d dug holes all over the pitch.
The secretary of the Lacock Cricket Club, who also tends the pitch, told the Daily Telegraph, the initial attack occurred in late August, but further damage occurred in October. A Wiltshire Police spokesperson added that it was “thought someone had been using a metal detector” which resulted in the digging of holes.
Now, IF this damage is proven to the actions of a rogue metal detector user making a clandestine (presumably nocturnal) search of the cricket pitch and is eventually caught, then they must face the full weight of the law. However, apart from holes appearing across the pitch, no evidence exists to link this damage to a metal detectors user, so why assume and accuse the entire metal detecting community on such flimsy evidence? Quite simply, someone has put two and two together and made FIVE! For example you never hear of an armed bank heist being attributed to a skeet shooter simply because they use shotguns too, or, the getaway wheelman described as and Indie Car driver.
The salient point in all this business is where the Daily Telegraph quotes a police source as; “It is thought that someone has been using a metal detector. And as a result, has been digging holes.” Who put that idea into their heads I wonder? Had this damage been attributed to black people, Eastern European immigrants, or Muslims, for example, on evidence this slender, there would rightly be uproar. There are other possibilities too: Perhaps the damage is a result of someone having grudge against the club; someone worm-gathering for fishing bait; moles; an archaeologist perhaps who’s trying to blacken the hobby; or even rabbits. I am a metal detecting treasure hunter which makes me a suspect too along with every other detectorist in the UK. Who will clear our names?
If you have any information concerning this incident contact: Wiltshire Police Headquarters, London Rd, Devizes, SN10 2DN, Wiltshire. www.wiltshire-pa.gov.uk. If you are a metal detectorist who objects to this kind of casual assumption of guilt…complain. I have…to the Wiltshire Police Commissioner.
ON A TRANS-ATLANTIC CROSSING
On a plane outbound from New York to London, an attractive lady sat next to hunk of a man, rugged, and squared jawed (not unlike Stouty). She was quite attracted to him.
“Ya’ll on business then?” says the hunk.
“Well sort of,” she replies. “I’m an archaeo-anthropologist and am giving a lecture in London.”.
“What subject are you lecturing on,” replies the hunk.
“Well, actually my research shows that Native American men have the longest organs, and that Polish men have the greatest circumference of the male member. A combination of the two is irresistible to most women.”
“Wow”, says the hunk.
“What do you do?” says the lady archaeo-anthropologist.
“I’m an international treasure hunter,” he replies.
“Pleased to meet you,” she says, “My name is Sadie.”
“Pleased to meet you,” says the hunk, “My name is Tonto Kowalski.”
Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.….John F. Kennedy
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 25, 2013
WARSAW WALLY’S WORLD…THE ‘UTTER’ DREGS
An occasional hilarity update from the Barford Blog (complete with Barfordese grammar)
“Cue a whole load of sly tekkie nastiness and the usual sock-puppetry that Heritage Journal suffers from those that serve as the only voice of the community. Or will we hear from some of the truly decent metal detector users who too are disturbed by the all-too-vague notion of “responsibility” used in blanket form towards this exploitive and destructive hobby? Are there any out there?”
COMMENT: The world regularly hears from responsible detectorists daily (or ‘Heritage Heroes’ as UK Culture Minister, Ed Vaizey rightly describes them). The famed Portable Antiquities Scheme is their internationally admired register that provides the basis for serious and ongoing academic study (see previous Mal Sal for details). Without wanting to seem overly harsh, the now widely discredited and propagandist, crackpot, fact-free, Erosion Counter; a nonsense dreamed-up in a garden shed in a fit of pique by archaeology-supporting anti-detectorists, offers nothing to the historical record. Why, or how, the CBA’s Director allowed his organization to be sucked in to supporting the ludicrous AEC is anyone’s guess and it didn’t go unnoticed. The fact that it was, is great news for metal detecting! At least, we as a hobby, support accuracy!
And the Americans get a tongue-lashing too (near impenetrable Barfordese included) :
“Have a look at what concerns metal detectorists in the USA – apart from their apparent lack of understanding what constitutes a “conflict of interest” in professional archaeology.”
COMMENT: He’s really upset by the slogan, I Am A Metal Detectorist and I Vote. Hardly surprising really, since in 1986, Warsaw Wally emigrated to Communist Poland where democratic freedom via the ballot-box was not widely encouraged!
Foot in Mouth Disease!
If you’ve been off the planet for a few years, you won’t know that Paul Barford (Warsaw Wally) is both a Brit and an archaeo-blogger who describes himself as a ‘suntanned sushi lover living in Warsaw,’ Poland. He is virulently anti-detecting, hates private collectors, and often describes detectorists as uneducated and unable to express themselves coherently. His running mate is another Brit, Nigel Swift (Heritage Harry), who edits the very sad blog, Heritage Journal. Both are a constant source of huge global amusement, though some tend to take them seriously. It’s mainly through exposure on this blog that either of these two clowns reaches an audience outside their closest acolytes.
There are two ways of lying. The first is by not telling the truth and the other is making up statistics…
I’ll see y’all in the bar
November 21, 2013
SO, WHERE IS THE MAP TO $50 MILLION?
Wednesday October 23rd 1935 was not a good day for one Arthur S. Flegenheimer. Early evening that day he was enjoying a meal in one of Newark, New Jersey’s top eateries, the Palace Chop House and Tavern with three of his cronies; Otto “Abbadabba” Berman, Bernie “Lulu” Rosencrantz, and Abe Landau. At 10.15pm two professional hitmen entered the Chop House; Charlie “The Bug” Workman and Mendy Weiss. Workman armed with a handgun and Weiss (the back-up man) with a 12-gauge pump-action shotgun. In a classic mafia ‘hit,’ Berman, Rosencrantz, and Landau got it first – all shot several times as they sat at their table and dying within minutes. Realizing Flegenheimer was missing from the table, Workman ran to the mens’ washroom where he found his quarry and shot him in the chest using rust-covered bullets to induce septicaemia should he survive the gunshots. In a matter of minutes, the violent criminal career of one of America’s most iconic mobsters, Arthur S. Flegenheimer, more popularly known as ‘Dutch’ Schultz, came to an abrupt and violent end.
Fatally wounded by the bullet having ricocheted around his guts before exiting through his lower back, Schultz hovered n the brink of eternity for almost twenty-four hours. Even with the wound causing severe internal bleeding which by now had become infected as Workman had intended, Schultz resolutely adhered to the Mafiosi’s Code of Omerta, or code of silence, refusing to say who had shot him, or why.
In hospital, with his condition rapidly deteriorating and the fever increasing, and now drifting in and out of consciousness, often rambling and mumbling the unfathomable, “The glove will fit what I say,” and “The sidewalk was in trouble, and the bears were in trouble,” the police brought in a bedside stenographer to record everything Schultz uttered. At 8.30pm the following day Schultz met his Maker.
Following his death Federal agents and members of the New York, and New Jersey Police forces tried in vain to make sense of his deathbed ramblings, but all to no avail. Nevertheless, Schultz who’d made millions from bootlegging, the numbers rackets, prostitution, and other nefarious business deals, left an intriguing legacy shrouded in mystery. For years the IRS had unsuccessfully tried to nail him but finally succeeded in bringing him before a Grand Jury on federal income tax evasion charges in mid-1935 but was acquitted; however, the IRS had other tax evasion indictments in reserve. No doubt fearing a potential lengthy prison term, Schultz helped by two trusted bodyguards, “Lulu” Rosencrantz, and Marty Krompier, prepared a ‘nest egg’ by stashing away some $7-million ($50-million at today’s value), in gold coins, diamonds, and cash, all packed into a metal safe.
Schultz and Rosencrantz drove to the Catskills where they buried the safe, some say, on the banks of Esopus Creek. Other rumors suggest he buried the safe near the trunk of a tree, marked with an “X” carved into it, somewhere near Phoenicia, New York. Rosencrantz and Krompier were sworn to secrecy, but “Lulu” couldn’t keep his mouth shut and told Krompier where the treasure was buried, and about the map. The location of the cache remains unknown to this day, for soon after its burial, the only two men who knew the secret location were mown down in what became known as The Chophouse Massacre, leaving only Marty Krompier with an inkling of the treasure’s location. Krompier’s luck ran out when two gunmen tracked him to a barber’s shop in New York City, where they gunned him down and stole the map. Miraculously, Krompier survived the shooting, but without the map was unable to locate Schultz’s fortune.
Where is the map today? Who Knows?
In 2001, American journalist and author, Stephen J Dubner, wrote an engaging article for the New Yorker, Dutch Schultz’s Millions”…the treasure was buried near three pine trees. Or maybe beneath a lone poplar, or fourteen feet from a big sycamore. Schultz definitely carved an X in the tree,….. one pesky treasure hunter has since carved X’s on a number of trees to throw off the competition. Some people believed that Schultz stashed the treasure outside of town beneath a rock outcropping known as Devil’s Face. (This theory stems from a line in Schultz’s famously incoherent deathbed ramble: “Mother is the best bet, and don’t let Satan draw you too fast”).
The New York Times reported in 1997; “The story goes that shortly before he was gunned down in a Newark restaurant, Schultz drove to the Catskill village of Phoenicia — one of his regular haunts — and buried a metal box packed with diamonds, gold, and $1,000 bills. Ever since, rumors have rippled and faded. The treasure is near a stand of big pine trees. It is buried by the Esopus Creek. It lies on a straight line between Mount Tobias and Panther Mountain. Treasure seekers regularly pass through Phoenicia, laden with books, spades, metal detectors and dreams…”
If however you’re tempted to search for Schultz’s treasure then apart from a reliable metal detector, you might want to take along a bullet-proof vest — the Mafia also would like to get their hands on the cache. Gangland lore holds that Schultz’s enemies — including ‘Lucky’ Luciano — spent the remainder of their lives searching for the safe.
I guess I’ll pass on this cache!!
THE THINGS HE SAYS…
“The twentieth century was brutal for very many people and communities, and a lot of that brutality was due to their perceived “Otherness”. The recognition by us all of the importance of this cultural variety is why states are encouraged to respect and preserve the cultural property of various groups, living or vanished, within their borders.”
Paul Barford, describes himself as a “Suntanned sushi lover living and working in Warsaw Poland” in 1986 he emigrated to Communist Poland where brutality and murder were part and parcel of the vile political system he embraced; was employed by; and later warmly thanked for the help he received in connection with a book he authored.
Flicking through my new (signed) copy of Robert H. Sickler’s extremely entertaining and educational read, DETECTORIST – A How-To Guide to Better Metal Detecting, recently, my eye was taken by an illustration of a particularly revolting Deer Tick (page 4-2). Wondering what such a beast had to do with metal detecting I read on….and wish I hadn’t!
In describing the pitfalls of wearing unsuitable clothing when out hunting he outlines how the eight-legged, blood-sucking, Ixodes Dammini, creeps into one’s clothing and heads for the armpits; behind the ears; scalp; and horror of horrors, the groin. Three or four sentences into Chapter Four, and I was already scratching various body parts in subconscious reaction.
Cop this for a sample horror story as Bob relates: “deer ticks’ carry what is known as Lyme disease. The number of ticks and the people who have been bitten continues to climb toward epidemic proportions. This disease can cause arthritic crippling, nervous system malfunction, heart problems and a list of other serious problems. Am I trying to scare you? Yes I am!” You sure did!
Thankfully, for me at least, these bugs mainly hang out,…” in parts of New York, Massachusetts, and Connecticut…” and the Catskills no doubt; so if you’re going after Dutch Schultz’s treasure, keep a wary eye for Deer Ticks carrying violin cases!
DETECTORIST is a well written book and gives the reader the facts, plain and simple, though I must say, it’s not solely limited to ‘newbies’. If this slightly larger than A4-size edition could be down-sized to A5-Paperback, it would make a handy companion on a trans-Atlantic flight. That said, it’s still an enjoyable, comfortable, feet-up, large Scotch-sipping fireside read.
“THE DETECTORIST – A How-To Guide to Better Metal Detecting“
is published by:
Robert H Sickler
If you’re not on somebody’s shit list, you’re not doing anything worthwhile…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 15, 2013
THIS FROM THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC DAILY NEWS:
Finders Keepers? Not Always in Treasure Hunting
Digging into archaeology law in the U.K. and U.S.
What about exporting the British scheme [the Portable Antiquities Scheme. Ed] to the United States?
“It wouldn’t work here,” said Chris Espenshade, a consulting archaeologist for Commonwealth Cultural Resources Group in Michigan. “It’s contrary to our culture.” It’s the mindset of “It’s my property and I’ll do what I want” and an American individualism that expresses itself in “no trespassing” signs.
“Furthermore, said Espenshade, “We don’t have that kind of treasure in the United States. Most of the people out metal detecting aren’t finding big money items. It’s not a Celtic gold broach. It’s a lead minie ball [an old bullet].”
“Still, he admitted, the compensation afforded by the United Kingdom’s laws mitigates the idea that a finder should give away a treasure and not get anything in return.”
COMMENT: In Espenshade’s view, American cultural considerations and mind set, negates a UK-style PAS system to a non-starter Stateside, but I wonder what America’s thousands of detectorists make of it all? Indeed, there are archaeologists out there who I suspect would warmly welcome such a system. Has anyone asked either of their opinions? There are many buried objects of importance to the US historical record waiting discovery by pro-active metal detectorists. Historical artefacts of any age are important to collectors and museums and Espenshade is way off the mark to suggest otherwise. Archaeologists by their very nature, are re-active, usually called in by third-parties stumbling across a ‘feature’.
Not only is he completely off-beam, but flashes that haughty arrogance beloved of academics by taking it upon himself to put the case for thousands of American detectorists, and for all US archaeologists. Indeed, if ‘most of the people out metal detecting’ as he suggests — presumably he’s an expert? — are only finding Minnie balls — then Florida’s law-makers ought to listen to him, and the State’s detecting community, and abandon the totalitarian anti-detecting laws of the kind ‘Uncle’ Joe Stalin would have thoroughly approved. I never ceased to be amazed by some American politicians; on the one hand they are always first to send in the Marines in the cause of freedom, yet, are happy to entertain at home, that which they send their troops to die for, overseas.
Certainly, if US detectorists are finding only Minnie balls, why are some US archaeologists behaving like strutting Commissars in their attitude towards US hobbyists?
Perhaps the opposition to a PAS-style system in the US is more fundamental. Maybe it’s because some highly-placed archaeological nabobs are anxious to avoid at all costs the situation that exists in Britain where detectorists are storming away with fabulous finds; having TV programmes dedicated to their finds, having the respect of Government Ministers, and generally capturing the public’s imagination?
In Britain, many heritage professionals owe their employment to detectorists and the plethora of artefacts they bring to the light of day. If ever this tsunami of artefacts diminishes the mantra for a lot of these people will become, “Would you like fries with that?”
The prickly $64,000 question being dodged by our politicians is; what are we paying archaeologists for and are they value for money? Obscenely, only archaeologists are permitted to answer this conundrum …whereas the tax-payer is left out of the equation. This must stop and stop now!
FUNNY FREEDOMS OF SPEECH?
At the height of the Cold War two diplomats on opposing sides met in the bar of the United Nations building in New York:
A US Diplomat explains to a Soviet Russian Diplomat what democracy means; “In America I have the freedom to call President Reagan and the UK’s Prime Minister Thatcher, dickheads!”
Unimpressed, the Soviet Russian Diplomat shrugs; “So what? In Russia I also have the freedom to call President Reagan and the UK’s Prime Minister Thatcher, dickheads.”
Later on in the conversation, an English diplomat joins them at the bar, and turning to his Soviet Russian counterpart, says, “Y’know, Ivanovich, we in England have the best secret service in the world. All our top agents were educated at Cambridge University.”
The Soviet Russian downs his vodka and replies, “Yes, and so were ours.”
In 1986, three Polish archaeologists find themselves locked up by the Secret State Police, and they ask each other what they’re in for. The first arkie says:
“I was always ten minutes late on the dig so I was accused of sabotage.”
The second arkie says: “I was always ten minutes early on the dig, so I was accused of espionage.”
The third arkie says: “I always got to the dig on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch.”
WARSAW TAXI DRIVERS
Why do ex-SB* officers make the best Warsaw taxi drivers? Because you only need to tell them your name and they’ll already know where you live!
*(Security Service of the Ministry of Internal Affairs), or SB, was established in the People’s Republic of Poland in 1954. It was the main security organization in Poland after 1956. It tortured and executed anyone suspected to be a dissenter.
ROBBING THE HISTORICAL RECORD
Is it right for amateur archaeological clubs (those whose allegiance is to the Council for British Archaeology) to be allowed to stroll at will across our green and pleasant land gathering flint tools and collectable pottery shards without even a nod towards a Code of Conduct; without Third Party Insurance, or even telling the landowner, or even recording what they’ve ‘liberated’? Of course it isn’t. With orthodox archaeology types well in the minority, their well-meaning but ill-structured interference in the historical record is damaging.
All of which illustrates how more seriously detectorists are about accurately recording the heritage (see the PAS database) than the unstructured mish-mash of (often) ageing middle-class Leftists, bleeding-heart liberals, Guardian readers, and those from that strata of society who wear white poppies (for surrender?) on Remembrance Day; all of whom earnestly believe the heritage is their preserve, and playground, to the exclusion of everyone else.
There’s little more galling than to discover that a platoon of these bobble-hatted duffers have been out on a Sunday afternoon ramble, gathering God-knows-what from a site we have been researching and recording. The loss of data must be immense.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 12, 2013
SIZE MATTERS IF YOU WANT MAXIMUM DEPTH!
Yep, it’s true; size really matters. A large diameter coil will get you down to the depths where the big money lurks, especially on anything above coin-sized. Most ‘two-box’ types, or ‘depth multipliers’ will easily locate a 6”x6” metal cube to well over three feet depth; ideal if you are hunting the periphery of a non-scheduled roman, or other habitation site. In my experience, many hoards come from the ‘outer limits’ of such locations having been originally stashed away by indigenous Romano-Brits as a hedge against civil unrest. My Garrett Groundhog with a Depth Multiplier was/is truly awesome. The Fisher equivalent was, I’m told, similarly impressive, though I have no personal experience of its performance.
Many fabulous hoards have come to light in the UK at least, falling to ‘ordinary’ detectors responding to sizeable hoard-targets, so maybe, hoard locators are not really required? It’s a moot point. However, when I and my late friend Ron Scearce worked newly-acquired farmland we always ‘sterilised’ it by sweeping a Groundhog ADS-mounted Depth Multiplier, a task that took several days. Thereafter we knew the land was hoard-sterile before getting down to the serious business of finding and plotting single coin finds, brooches, and the other paraphernalia in the plough soil.
Nowadays, I spend more time looking for gold, and coins, and my ATPro International serves me well and the 8×11 coil does the biz, though the 4×5 Super Sniper really opens up the trashy areas. For greater depth my Sea Hunter II pi with the large coil is peerless.
THE PAS MARCHES ON!
Amazingly, the Portable Antiquities Scheme Database is soon to reach its ONE Millionth artefact, so it’s hardly surprising that UK Culture Minister Ed Vaizey is so very impressed with the UK’s detectorists and treasure hunters. They have certainly repaid, with a phenomenal range of artefacts, the Governments’s money invested in the Portable Antiquities Scheme. We have every reason to be proud of the PAS database without which, the heritage and academic study would be so much poorer.
But questions need to be asked, not least among them: Is archaeology, overall, giving the hard-pressed tax-payer, value for money? Hmmm,…doubtful. Indeed, if archaeology ceased to exist tomorrow, what effect would that have on society? Not a lot some say. Apart from its more hard-working exponents, who in the main do a good job, archaeology bears all the hallmarks of a being an over-populated, taxpayer-funded, gravy train; English Heritage is rumoured to have removed the wool from its eyes and lopped 1600 staff from its payroll. The PAS on the other hand, offers greater value involving public participation on a grand scale, much to the annoyance of the intellectually threadbare.
Internationally respected numismatist, California-based David Welsh, sums it up succinctly,
“There will always be extremists who will howl about “artifacts being ripped from the ground” thereby “destroying their context” and “imperiling the archaeological record.” It is becoming increasingly clear that these howls have little to do with reality or common sense, and that those voicing them are very far from being representative of the archaeological mainstream.”
Can anyone imagine our opponents refusing to use PAS-sourced artifact data? Of course, they can’t admit to it whilst simultaneously slagging off the database itself, the Culture Minister, the British Museum, PAS staff, and the UK public in general, can they?
Current PAS-based research projects are: Level of research:-
- Undergraduate 50
- Masters degrees 109
- PhD level research 73
- Large scale research AHRC 12
- Major publication 18
- Magazine or journal article 5
- Desk based assessment 14
- Major research (Leverhulme funded) 1
- Personal research project 77
- Archaeology society project 2
- External project (UK only) 9 External project (International) 3
- A-Level archaeology project 5
- Total projects: 378
I was unable to locate any research projects based on, or funded by Heritage Action, or Paul Barford, though their combined bitching and whining about the PAS are freely available. Neither could I find anyone doing research based on their (widely discredited) Artefact Erosion Counter. Strange that, innit?
During a murder trial, the defence attorney is cross-examining the coroner:
“Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?”
“So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?”
“Well, the man’s brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing archaeology for a living.”
OH DEARIE ME…SWIFT AND BARFORD DROP ANOTHER CLANGER!
The following screaming banner headline appeared recently (28/7/13) on Heritage Action’s HERITAGE JOURNAL blog (Editor, Nigel ‘Not Very’ Swift) and raised more than a few laughs, even in Arkiedom.
“At last! Paul Barford and Mike Heyworth in total agreement”
Paul Barford did it in just 120 forthright words:“The PAS tries to make out that the “metal detecting community” is for the most part composed of normal, concerned, responsible, intelligent folk engaged in a “study of the past”, but who are just misunderstood. They need to because the government would not give them money otherwise. The actual picture is far more complex, the thrusting on us all of the PAS one-sided rose-tinted spectacle vision totally obscures (and, shamefully, is meant to obscure) the huge element, an undercurrent, of individuals that are portrayed on this blog by the metaphorical device of the fictional Thugwit Brothers. These are the people we need to take into account whenever assessing the hobby, not the 20% who can be brought with varying degrees of success into the fold by persuasion and logic, but the 80% who are totally resistant to anything like that.”
Swift then adds; So the two of them are actually saying precisely the same thing (as am I). Paul and Mike, peas in a pod, united in thinking this bar chart can’t be ignored…. Artefact Counter 2 as at March 2013 (chart attached)” [At this point, Swift publishes the world famous and fact-free Artefact Erosion Counter, a propaganda graph purporting to show that over 11,000,000 artefacts have been dug-up since 1975, and nearly 3.5 million artefacts have NOT been reported to the UK’s Portable Antiquities Scheme].
Now, ya’ll might think this AEC stuff is powerful ju-ju from the Barford/Swift/CBA/Mike Heyworth Combo BUT, you’d be wrong. Actually, Paul Barford did it not in 120 forthright words, but 140! However, you could well be forgiven for thinking that if Nigel Swift can’t count his own words accurately, or that 140 is beyond his ken, what credence can be placed on his figures — presumably hoiked out of thin air — for the Artefact Erosion Counter? Obviously, none of course, and even on this staggeringly poor form, even if his figures had any semblance of truth, he’s still a staggering 1.5-million out! So it’s not hard to understand why the AEC is so heavily discredited — even among archaeologists — and so widely regarded as pura vitulum stercore!
Certainly feel free to quote me if this AEC fantasy raises its ugly head in the US if it’s bandied about as being an example of what’s happening in the UK. The Portable Antiquities Database backed by the UK Government and the British Museum is where you’ll find the truth.
I am not alone in failing understand how the Council for British Archaeology (CBA) claims its Marsh Archaeology Award for example (for voluntary groups and individuals active in the UK), which recognizes and promotes innovative and high quality dissemination of the results of research and/or fieldwork through publication, communication and archiving, gels with the blatant inaccuracies of the Swift/Barford/ AEC which bears no relation to fact, let alone quality high dissemination. The CBA, before launching into any attacks on our hobby, really ought to make up its mind if it’s to retain any credibility; whether its’ either a ‘pro’ accuracy organization — like the PAS — or, it’s a vague guess-timate Barford-esque outfit. On present form it seems as though its been led blindfolded into a box canyon. Behind the scenes murmurings suggest changes on the horizon.
AND THEY CALL US A DANGER TO THE HERITAGE!!!!!
UNITED NATIONS FUNNY
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, “What a good opportunity to have a bath!” Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!
The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, “What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren’t there then.”
The Israeli representative smiled and said, “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.”
The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign of little souls and inferior intellects
.I’ll see y’all in the bar!
November 5, 2013
WHIP CRACK AWAY!
I fail to comprehend the pleasure obtained from a visit to the eponymous ‘Miss Whiplash,’ let alone paying for the privilege of being whipped, thrashed, and generally humiliated. But ostensibly it seems, those who enjoy being demeaned (without the whips, chains, and physical pain), can have their noses rubbed in the excrement of others …..for free!
You want proof? Then mosey over to Nigel Swift’s, Heritage Action blog, where under the heading, “Ed Vaizey insults every archaeologist and heritage professional!“, scroll down to the comments section and you’ll see someone known only as, ‘SDG Member,’ getting, and enjoying – evidently — the full treatment with all the extras. Over on Paul Barford’s notorious anti-metal detecting blog, ‘SDG Member’ gets another humiliating exposition!
Barford and Swift’s humiliation of ‘SDG Member’ shows why these two odious creatures are so loathed by right thinking archaeologists and detectorists alike. Whatever Culture Minister Ed Vaizey makes of them along with the insults they’ve hurled his way together with outrageous calls for his resignation, is anyone’s guess. Presumably, and in the absence of any condemnation, The Council for British Archaeology, and English Heritage, to name but two organizations with links to the Heritage Action blog, fully approve of Barford and Swift’s antics?
Why not contact the Culture Minister, Ed Vaizey, and show your support for his sterling support of the PAS and metal detecting in general, and register your revulsion at Barford and Swift. You’ll find him at … firstname.lastname@example.org
US ATTORNEY PETER TOMPA ON BARFORD!
Tompa is one of the great minds and opinion formers in world numismatics. What follows is taken from Peter Tompa’s recent blog:
“Even worse, one voice in the archaeological blogosphere [Barford. JH] has taken all this to an extreme. Indeed, he goes so far as to demand that what should be considered good news instead requires the resignation of the responsible Government Minister.[Ed Vaizey. JH]
Rather than celebrating the knowledge that has come from these finds, he instead claims these artifacts are better better left in the ground for future archaeologists to discover. But that is pure fantasy. Archaeologists will always be few in number. Their digs will always concentrate on significant sites, not the farmer’s fields where most treasure is found. And while we are waiting, it’s much more likely that the artifacts themselves will be lost through deterioration and development.
Luckily, most real archaeologists in the United Kingdom have made peace with metal detectorists. They recognize that the Treasure Act, the Portable Antiquities Scheme, and the knowledge of and preservation of artifacts they bring benefits all. So let’s all celebrate the latest finds in England and Wales and salute t he heritage heroes of the archaeological and metal detecting communities that have made it all possible.”
Peter Tompa has collected ancient coins for thirty years. He has written and lectured about cultural property issues for a decade. He is a contributor to a chapter on numismatics in K. Fitz Gibbon ed., “Who Owns the Past?” (Rutgers 2005). He has lobbied members of the U.S. Congress and the Executive Branch in an effort to ensure that the small businesses of the numismatic trade receive fair treatment from federal regulators. He currently serves as a board member of the Cultural Policy Research Institute and the Ancient Coin Collectors Guild. He also has been a vice-chair of the American Bar Association’s Art & Cultural Heritage Law Committee. His advocacy has received notice in the media, including the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Art Newspaper and the Voice of America. He hopes his views as a collector and lawyer will provide a counterpoint to the “archaeology over all” perspective found in most blogs about cultural property issues. This Web page is a public resource for general information and opinion about cultural property issues, and is not intended to be a source for legal advice.
“It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings..” Mahatma Ghandi
I’ll see y’all in the bar
October 27, 2013
JUST FOR FUN!
In 1986 during the Cold War, a Russian and a Polish archaeologist were excavating an ancient site when the Polish arkie hits his shovel against something hard in the ground. Both work hurriedly to dig the object out to discover it’s a treasure chest. Opening it they find jewels, coins, and gold trinkets beyond their wildest dreams. They dance round in excitement.
When they have calmed down, the Russian takes the Polish arkie’s hand and earnestly says; “Tovarisch, we will share this just like Russian and Polish comrades always do,” to which the Polish arkie replies, “F**k off! It’s 50 – 50”!
THE QUICK AND THE ACADEMIC
Two arkies and a treasure hunter die in a car accident and are met by St Peter at the Pearly Gates, who asks them, “When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first arkie says, “I would like them to say that I was a great archaeologist and a loving family man.”
The second archaeologist says, “I would like them to say that I was a caring husband and a great historian who made a huge difference to the heritage.”
The treasure hunter says, “I would like them to say — LOOK, he’s moving!”
Two archaeologists, Paul and Nigel, found three unexploded hand grenades during an excavation, and decided to take them to the police station.
Paul: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
Nigel: “We’ll lie and say we only found two!”
Paul, a disgruntled arkie defects to Soviet Russia at the height of the Cold War.
“Welcome Comrade Pavel, to the worker’s Utopia,” says the Political Commissar, “Let me show you how good life is here in the East.” Then he takes the new recruit on a tour of Moscow’s top department stores, ones where only top Party members are allowed to shop.
“Look,” says the Commissar, “American cigarettes, Scotch whiskey, everything you could want.”
Pavel is amazed. “Very nice,” he stutters, “But what if the commies find out?”
There’s a rumour going around that Paul B is giving up archaeo-blogging to become a football coach. He’s had all his teeth out and 52 seats put in….
Remember the words of Vladimir Lenin…(the arkies credo?)
It is true that liberty is precious; so precious, that it must be carefully rationed…
October 22, 2013
SWITCHING OFF THE ‘PAUL BARFORD SPOTLIGHT’ (FOR THE TIME BEING AT LEAST…)
You will be as much value to others as you have been to yourself…
Marcus Tullius Cicero (3 January 106 BC – 7 December 43 BC)
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
October 18, 2013
FAKE LOOTING IS A LAUGHING MATTER
The World Monuments Fund (WMF) recently unveiled its 2014 World Monuments Watch programme. For the past decade and a half, the WMF has been turning the international spotlight on at-risk cultural, and heritage sites. It names five categories as the primary causes of damage and concern:
Aging ModernismWarTourismDevelopment&Ephemeral Value of HeritageConspicuous by its absence is that hoary old chestnut ‘looting,’ favoured by the Warsaw-based, ‘Scrabble-loving’ Paul Barford, and his side-kick, Heritage Action’s Nigel Swift — their shorthand for metal detecting/collecting/and all things evil!
Obviously, these two buffoons have ‘gilded the lily’ once too often — at least as far as this hobby is concerned — which is perhaps why their crass twaddle has been so studiously ignored by better informed professionals?
There is another reason of course. Could it be that someone on the WMF got wind of the now heavily discredited Artefact Erosion Counter (AEC) — phony figures posing as the statistically bona fide in which our two jesters had a significant hand — and hasn’t stopped laughing since?
The archaeological community are surely wringing their hands in embarrassment at the antics of these two chumps; being precisely the sort of people whose views are so extreme that heritage professionals have got to be asking themselves the question: Whatever possessed the Council for British Archaeology (CBA) — usually quite astute — to throw in its lot with Paul Barford and Nigel Swift in what has now become the AEC debacle?
More seriously, by association, the CBA with its tacit approval of the wholly amateurish, and therefore unsurprisingly, discredited AEC, binds all archaeologists by proxy — in the absence of any condemnation — in joint approval of Barford and Swift’s contempt, insults, and ridicule of the British Museum, the DCMS, and the Portable Antiquities Scheme along with anything, and everyone, connected with it.
THIS FROM BARFORD’S BLOG….(And he Reckons Tekkies are Dim!)
Garrett’s ATPro advertised by notorious anti-archaeological detectorist engaged for the purpose:
“An experienced user or a fast lea[r]ner will recoup the cost of this machine in the first year”.
What message does that give out?
Yes Pauly-Poohs, I am that ‘notorious anti-archaeological detectorist’ and author of the above quote — complete with the spelling bait — taken from my very excellent, Malamute Saloon blog, one you’ve obligingly drawn attention to via your much lesser organ. The ‘ATPro International’ as you thoughtfully repeated to your reader, has found me a small fortune in a tad over eighteen months.
I am however, at a bit of a loss as to how best to explain the quote in grown-ups words that you and your reader — being Hard-of-Understanding apparently — will comprehend (grasp)? Er…Um…let’s give it a go shall we? Are you sitting comfortably (easily)? …. It means, an experienced user or a fast learner will recoup the cost of this machine in the first year. Though my Polish is not what it was, perhaps this is more helpful?
“doswiadczony uzytkownik lub szybko uczacy sie bedzie odzyskac koszt tej maszyny w pierwszym roku”.
Some of the English (Angielski) words that you are obviously (clearly) having trouble understanding (knowing), I’ve defined (made simpler) for you.
Experienced = skilled
Recoup = recover, earn, regain
Machine = device, tool, engine
I hope this is helpful (caring, obliging). Thank you too for the spelling correction. Please note; I’d much prefer it if you’d refer to me as a Treasure Hunter. I like the notorious label too…has a certain devil-may-care cachet about it.
(For some unfathomable reason, the words of Martin Luther King Jr. spring to mind….)
“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity“….
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
October 12, 2013
GARRETT’S AT PRO INTERNATIONAL
I get the odd email — courtesy of Garrett’s Steve Moore — from irate individuals either unable or unwilling to come to terms with the vagaries of this world-beating metal detector. With a price tag of £595 in the UK ($890.00 or thereabouts Stateside) this machine is, in my view, backed by over three decades at the sharp end of treasure hunting, the best metal detector in the value-for-money equation and is superior to many machines at twice the price. It’s a fact not open to negotiation — I’m telling you straight.
“Ah,” I here you say, “You would say that, you’re on the Garrett payroll.” Actually, I ain’t and I was given an ATPro following my severe beach testing of it during which I made it jump through hoops of fire over a number of weeks. Garrett’s Steve Moore initially said that at the end of the test period I could keep it provided I allowed Garrett to use my name to back it. He got two words, and the second one was “off”.
After a little horse-trading the deal ironed out thus: I’d test the machine for Garrett but if it went tits-up during testing I’d tell them they’d a real turkey on their hands, but with an escape clause for me that they’d take my name out of the equation. BUT, if was any good and met the criteria they advertised it would meet, and I liked it, they’d let me keep it and I’d let them use my name in any advertising associated with it. The deal was done.
My opinions of the ATPro are already well ventilated, though I divert from Garrett’s advertising puffery in that it’s a switch-on-and-go type machine — it ain’t! It will no more give you perfect results than will an inexperienced violinist picking up a Strad! But in the hands of an experienced user it produces sweet music indeed. An experienced user or a fast leaner will recoup the cost of this machine in the first year.
If you need an additional coil, DON’T go large, GO small…either the 6.5”x9” (standard on the ATGold), or the ‘beach scalpel’ to slice through the junky areas, the 4.5” Super Sniper.
Urban Myth 1: The ATPro is useless over salt water sand!
Urban Truth 1: It’s arguably the best non-pi machine on the beach or in the surf. Its Ground Balance is supreme.
Urban Myth 2: It ‘falses’ over wet sand.
Urban Truth 2: No it doesn’t — that’s operator error! Read the handbook! Read it again, and again!
TALKING OF HANDBOOKS
Irrespective of the make, your metal detector’s handbook is probably the best piece of equipment you’ll get your hands on. Read it, inwardly digest, then read it again. Assemble the detector as per instructions; keep reading the handbook. Learn how it reacts audibly and visually to gold, silver, coins, pull-tabs, and iron.
Check out your manufacturer’s online training videos and compare notes to your own findings before venturing forth into the field and when you do, take the handbook with you. Even though you may well be a seasoned hunter, a new machine means a new learning curve so ease yourself gently into the learning process. It will pay off!
Given the choice of resettlement, who — apart from dyed-in-the-wool Commies — would emigrate from the democratic Free West to live in the totalitarian, Communist state of North Korea? Fast rewind.
Why would anyone want emigrate from the Free West in 1986 to live in the former Peoples Republic of Poland; a Communist state where incarceration without trial, State torture, fast tracking to the Gulags, food rationing, along with all the other benefits of Communism, unless they were either on the KGB payroll, politically naïve, or simply, plain daft?
Well, some people — not many — did precisely that. So far so good…but would you trust the judgement of a man who made that journey? Would you trust anything such a man said or uttered? You probably wouldn’t. You’d probably think (rightly, perhaps) his judgement was seriously flawed. Would you follow such a man as a disciple? Probably not…but some people think his excrement is aromatic. You’ll find them on a heritage blog near you!
“The Nuremberg Defence”…of the (Heavily Discredited) Artefact Erosion Counter!
I was only following orders, guv…no, not me, I had nothing to do with it…I knew about it…so says, serial bull-shitter, and cat lover, Paul Barford:
“…The first point is that although I collaborated on this project, the counter is neither my idea or authorship…”.
The cracks are starting to appear….no guesses as to whom will be carrying the can when the AEC descends into the cesspit and held up to greater public scrutiny.
This then, is the level of ‘accuracy’ that mainstream archaeology allies itself. This hobby has no position to defend. Can we really trust the judgement of so-called ‘experts’ who portray fiction as fact? Nope!
“There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying…”
I’ll see y’all in the bar
October 7, 2013
Now, where have I heard this sentiment before: “The theory of Communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all private property.” Karl Marx .
UNESCO…The Myopic Leading the Shady?
A friend who’s well placed to comment on the international trade in illicit antiquities, gave me the inside track on the ‘under-the-counter’ trade in looted artifacts and antiquities particularly from Iraq, Egypt, Syria, and that favorite playground of light-fingered archaeologists, Afghanistan.
What’s happening is apparently par for the course in conflict zones. However, with the connivance of dubious museum curators who, along with even more dubious heritage professionals out for a fast buck, ‘provenance’ of any artifact, can apparently be had for a price; be it cash, gold in the form of Sovereigns or Krugerands, a ticket west, or even a kilo of good coffee.
Contrary to fringe archaeology’s (rabid) propagandists who manipulate the truth to suit their own anti-collecting agendas, metal detectorists are NOT the conduit through which these looted artifacts are reaching the antiquities markets, museums, and those heritage professional who stash this gear as a hedge against inflation. This particular pipeline is much closer to home. For all its huffing and puffing against private collecting, the politically motivated international archaeological lobby appears powerless to halt what appears to be a lucrative trade in illicit antiquities. Powerless?…Well..er, not exactly. Some less-than-casual observers now believe the intention of these street-wise heritage wide-boys, is to set running a false hare that the dogs of legislation will follow. Some of the curbs being promulgated to achieve what will in the end be self-serving draconian laws, is based on ‘evidence’ that ain’t quite as Kosher as they’d have you believe.
Undoubtedly some policymakers are solid ivory from the neck up, but the sharper ones know that if world can be led to believe it’s detectorists at the cutting edge of the illicit trade in antiquities, then the implementation of anti-detecting laws should – their view – be a cinch to enact! Then it’s on to nailing down legal collectors. Such legislation if enacted would serve three main purposes; protecting archaeological jobs; bringing independent amateur involvement in heritage and cultural investigation under their strict say-so, and lastly bringing all the current legal heritage ‘goodies’ and those still waiting discovery, firmly under their control. A cartel in fact.
The US-based, Ancient Coin Collectors Guild (ACCG), is typical of the ‘honorable trade’ fighting to reduce and expose relic theft, despite repellent insults hurled at it by the notoriously offensive propagandist, the anti-collecting, anti-American, anti-metal detecting, and pro-inaccuracy archaeo-blogger, Paul Barford. What Barford omits in his grossly flawed and strange outbursts, is that senior ACCG member, the widely respected numismatist David Welsh, from Goleta, CA (as just one example), has done more to help curb this illicit trade, especially in coins, than the posturing Barford will ever achieve.
Barford is to accuracy what Yuri Geller is to spoons…
Looking for your dagger Paul? I last saw it in Heyworth’s back…
New Kids on the Block
In a convivial conversation at a local hostelry (over a few ales) with a farmer/landowning friend recently, he regaled me with tales a-plenty, admitting membership and a keen supporter of a certain amateur archaeological society whose name I am unable to reveal for reasons that will become obvious.
“Yeah, they’re a great bunch of people,” my friend told me, “And you’d really be interested in their private collections….coins, buckles, and stuff. Fascinating. They’re all using metal detectors now y’know.”
Fascinating indeed! And not one item in those private collections registered with the PAS. I’ve no complaint about them having private collections, in fact I’m all for it, but they really ought to tell someone about their finds, or the contents of their collections so that accurate records can be made. Neither are these magpie archaeologists alone I suspect, having many counterparts up and down the country. Nothing wrong here on the face of it – just wish they’d tell the PAS what they’ve got….just like we do.
So the question I’ve posed before raises its head yet again; should amateur magpie archaeologists have some form of Code of Conduct/Practice; one not dissimilar to our own, or, is legislation the answer to stem the loss of data? The answer’s obvious of course… there must be something place; but who in the archaeological community or its hierarchy, has the nous, or plain guts and forward thinking to demand that their own kind be brought into line with the high standards set by the UK’s metal detectorists and the Portable Antiquities Scheme?
Losing precious data connected with unreported finds is as serious a loss we are told, by archaeologists themselves, as the loss attributed to spoils made by criminals using metal detectors! Seems to me though, the real threat to the historical record is not from so-called nighthawks – archaeological shorthand for rogue hobbyists – (proven by the £66,000 Nighthawking Report to be hardly a problem), but from a new menace; what might be now labelled, well-meaning amateur archaeological Dayhawks! The libel laws prevent me from currently naming names, but some of those written down on the back of a pub’s beer mat, came as no surprise at all.
(Note to Self: Must bring this to the attention of my Member of Parliament).
A historian once told me that I had the heart of an archaeologist.
He was right, it sits in a jar on my desk.
We are not asking for superiority for we have always had that; all we ask is equality…
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
September 18, 2013
Roy Rutledge made an interesting and thought-provoking comment on Stout Standards recently, that, “A couple of years ago you could go to the lake and find 75 to 100 coins and 2 or 3 rings with no problem. Now it is 25 to 30 coins ( if you are lucky ) and maybe one ring. Too many people with detectors.” There are two obvious answers; either he’s right and there really are too many detectorists out there, or, Roy’s lost his touch.
I doubt it’s the latter, as I guess he knows his locale better than most. So, is he right there are there too many hunters? Certainly metal detector sales rocket in the wake of a major treasure find, but these machines soon appear for sale when their get-rich-quick hopefuls realize there’s a lot more to treasure hunting with a metal detector than they’d been led to believe. Then again, maybe there aren’t too many treasure hunters at all, just a few who’ve heard of a great hunting location.
At the other end of the scale are those who, like a pal of mine, spent a small fortune on top-end fly-fishing gear, only to find that he wasn’t catching the trout he thought he would. Any rod will catch fish; it’s the hand that uses it that brings success. It’s no different with our hobby.
Some inland hunters, God Bless ‘em, imagine beachcombing with a metal detector is an easy option to supplement the holiday budget.
I met and got into conversation with a detectorist on my local beach a few days ago. He was a somewhat taken aback that I guessed he was on holiday. It was easy I told him, since he was using the wrong metal detector, in the wrong places, with the wrong recovery tool. Therefore, it was obvious he was an inland hunter. It soon transpired he thought beach hunting was simply a matter of strolling onto the beach and filling his pockets with assorted coins and jewelry. How wrong he was!
He was a little downcast when I told him that the cheapest and most basic of machines will find treasure on a beach, PROVIDED it’s used in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time! That knowledge is hard won through observation and putting in the hours on the beach. In the event, he followed my advice and headed off to a location nearby. I hope he did well.
ETHICAL ARCHAEOLOGY – NEEDED NOW!
I have long been opposed to displaying human remains in museums or elsewhere under the guise of heritage. Yet this outrage is to be further advanced by English Heritage with a display of human bones at the new Stonehenge Visitor Centre causing the Druid campaigner, King Arthur Pendragon to threaten, “the biggest protest in Europe,” if human bones are put on permanent display. Good luck to him in his quest.
He told BBC Wiltshire recently that, “English Heritage has two choices – they can either be world leaders and show the way to the rest of the world, or they can stick with the Victorian idea of ogling at the dead, in which case they would have the biggest protest in Europe because I would be leading it.”
Even that vacuous ensemble, Heritage Action (HA), those ambassadors for archaeological absurdity at the Court of Common Sense, have shown uncharacteristic rationality over this issue, though not I suspect out of any respect for the dead; but from the mercenary standpoint of ducking yet another archaeological scandal. The notion of guilt by association is writ large.
“Displaying human remains at the Visitor Centre isn’t essential to its central purpose the interpretation of the monument,” HA trills, “So the planned display – which includes mounting an actual skeleton upright – is surely provocative, to say the least?” Provocative indeed. Strangely they remain mute about mummies in the BM. It’s all another example of what happens when you leave archaeology to over-zealous, out-of-control archaeologists. On this showing there’s a real case for them to be subjected to public scrutiny and the prevailing mood of good taste.
If ever there was a perfect case for overseeing and bringing archaeology to heel, this Stonehenge debacle is it. It’s surely time to be asking government to set up an over-arching body comprised of non-archaeologists to which heritage hooligans would have to justify their repellent and/or money wasting fancies!
GARRETT’S NEW ATX
It’s certainly triggered a bit of a to-do that’s for sure. The men-in-white-coats in downtown Garland are playing their cards close to their chests and at the time of writing, though the ATX has yet to be released onto the market, the pre-release advertising foreplay is doing its stuff and not least of all amongst non-Garrett users! But being a pi machine the ATX seems to have, on paper at least, the potential for a great, deep-seeking future, in areas where pi’s hold court; beaches, desert nugget hunting, and in areas of highly mineralized ground.
Being waterproof to three metres, compact, and with a hard, carry-case option, it’s destined to become the ‘must have’ machine for airborne treasure hunters wanting to hit foreign beaches.
From what information I have gleaned from various sources, the ATX is the civilian version (I hope) of Garrett’s military spec, RECON-PRO® AML-1000, which sports Tone ID, giving the operator a low tone for most(?) ferrous and a high tone for most non-ferrous targets. If this is really the case, then Garrett’s really do have a world class hobby/semi-pro machine on their hands, and experienced treasure hunters will recoup its MSRP: $2,495 (£1,560 approx.) price in double quick time.
If in the fullness of time I can get my hands on an ATX and play about with it up in the dry sand, and below the High Tide Line….I’ll let you know!
Remember…(Thomas Jefferson got it spot on)…
“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty”
I’ll see you in the bar….
September 10, 2013
ET TU BRUTE?
Now that Stout Standards has left the nauseating, farce-aeologist Paul Barford floundering with his disciples in their own terminological inexactitudes, its time to move on and lay these abysmal nonentities (or ‘victims’ of Thugwittery as they nauseatingly like to portray themselves) along with the preposterous, shoddy, and spineless Heritage Action to rest – at least for a few weeks anyway. The civil war that’s about to erupt between Barshole, Heritage Harry and the gals, and the Council for British Archaeology is on course for a behind-the-scenes eye-gouging Oscar showdown. Watch and enjoy.
The way Barshole mercilessly shafted the Council for British Archaeology’s Grand Fromage, the hapless Dr. Mike Heyworth, in one of his notorious blogs, was for me… piquant. A classic piece of academic treachery.
What I found to be the most staggering aspect of this debacle was Heyworth’s naivety bearing mind Barshole’s well-known track record for inaccuracy; spectacularly highlighted in Stout Standards when the now heavily discredited Artefact Erosion Counter was exposed as complete fact-free bunkum – which left the CBA , who gave it a tacit thumbs-up, with egg all over its academic chops.
Obviously, either poor old Mikey’s not savvy enough, or too trusting perhaps, to take on board the fact that to stab someone in the back you first have to get behind them…a fact he’s discovered to his cost.
Tough luck Mikey, but that’s showbiz! But if it’s any consolation Mikey, Barshole behaved like a complete turd!
Remember….(the words of Aeschylus)
“I have learned to hate all traitors, and there is no disease that I spit on more than treachery”
“I’ll see you in the bar..
August 30, 2013
STOP THE PRESS! LATE UPDATE!
According to Barford’s latest blog of inaccuracies, he still reckons (as of the 30th August) that:-
“The Bosworth Boar (object number five) again was not found accidentally by “a member of the public” but as part of a multi-disciplinary archaeological research. How many more of the “100 objects” were similarly misrepresented in the interests of the program’s fluff-propaganda for collecting is anyone’s guess.” And still Barford can’t get his facts right!
- The Bosworth Boar WAS NOT Item #5 on the Television program, Britain’s Secret Treasures
- Item #5 in that superb program WAS the Chiddingly, Sussex ‘boar’
- It was found by a member of the public.
Again, this from the man who professes accuracy of his own calling (whatever that might be), whist slagging off all relic hunters, and now falling out with CBA Director, Mike Heyworth, whom he accuses along with Dr. Roger Bland Head of the PAS by posing the question;
“Quite why the PAS (and the Director of the CBA) felt they had to engage in this unprofessional deceit is anyone’s guess.”
More to the point perhaps, it’s anyone’s guess why Paul Barford can’t or won’t get his facts straight. On this form, God knows what credence anyone can now place on anything he writes.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE! BARFORD CAN’T!!!
The Portable Antiquities Scheme introduction reads:-
“The Portable Antiquities Scheme is a DCMS [ Department of Culture, Media and Sport] funded project to encourage the voluntary recording of archaeological objects found by members of the public in England and Wales. Every year many thousands of objects are discovered, many of these by metal-detector users, but also by people whilst out walking, gardening or going about their daily work. Such discoveries offer an important source for understanding our past.”
Some archaeologists consider themselves a bit special and well apart from the common herd or the Great Unwashed. Leading the charge of a handful of Truth Benders, is unsurprisingly, our old pal, Paul Barford, the Warsaw-based ‘historian’ who not only is somewhat coy about his archaeological qualifications; but is the same man who gave up life in the Free West to live under Communism in Poland in 1986 just at a time when the Poles were trying to rid themselves of Soviet-imposed Communism.
In a superb piece of propaganda worthy of the Nazi’s Dr. Goebbels, he asserts loftily that the silver-gilt boar badge depicted on the PAS website was not found by a Tekkie, but an archaeologist! How come? Simply that the Tekkies who joined Dr. Foard’s battlefield research team to locate the true site of the 1485 Battle of Bosworth were paid for their time and expenses, suddenly morphing them into arkies.
Paul ‘Boy Blunder’ Barford reckons that because (odd grammar capitals included), “…they were paid. In other words they were at the time part of the archaeological project,. So much so that when one found a silver badge (The Bosworth Boar), they did not get a Treasure reward, as archaeologists are not eligible. (Its inclusion as object number 5 in the PAS pro-tekkie propaganda programme “Britain’s Secret treasures” is another manipulation of the truth, it was not “found by a member of the public but by a professional archaeological team).
But where Boy Blunder the ‘historian’ gets it completely wrong and makes an unholy mess of the facts (no wonder he remains coy about his qualifications!!) is that the boar shown on the PAS website is not the same one as that found by Dr. Foard’s team (theirs came from the battlefield site!) The PAS boar was found at Chiddingly, Sussex, some 166 miles south of where the Battle of Bosworth took place! The PAS describe ‘their boar’ thus: ‘Boar Badge of Richard III from Chiddingly, Sussex. Featured at number 5 on Britain’s Secret Treasures.’
RECKLESS RELIC HUNTERS -REGTON TO THE RESCUE!
Some Tekkies overcome at the excitement of a great find have been known to wander off in a daze leaving their Garrett Pro-Pointers at the find-spot! With the World’s best pin-pointer costing around ninety quid a throw, it’s an expensive but easily committed error. But help for the scatter-brained is available.
Enter a natty little gadget from Regton Ltd, the, Expandable Coiled Lanyard for Pinpoint Probes with the Security Attachment for your Garrett Pro-pointer, costing around £18.00. Phone early and you’ll be surprised at the rapid return of your order! Faster than a Red Star parcel!
If on the other hand your machine’s gone belly-up then expect the same sparkling service from the lads and lasses at Regton, where they’ll even collect your metal detector for repair. One of mine developed a problem and from the time of making the early phone call to getting back out on the beach, was just four days!
Further details available from Regton Ltd, Cliveland Street, Birmingham, B19 3SN, or, have a look at their wonderful website; Regton, Ltd.
Tel: 0121 359 2379 Email: email@example.com
For some unexplained reason, the words of former US President, Harry S. Truman, spring to mind:
“Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in”.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
August 28, 2013
A WIN, WIN SITUATION
Liaising with detectorists working under his direction helped Dr. Glen Foard and his team prove the Battle of Bosworth fought in 1485 took place not at Ambion Hill, Leicestershire, but two miles away on low-lying ground bordered by a marsh known as Fen Hole. The battle marked the last major conflict of the Wars of the Roses.
Fought on 22 August 1485, the battle was won by the Lancastrians and their commander, Henry Tudor, went on to become first of the Tudor Dynasty to take the English throne. His adversary Richard III died in the battle. Six hundred years later, Richard III’s remains were excavated from under a Leicester car park. Argument and controversy rages as to where his bones will finally lay to rest. Some favour York, others Leicester.
In recent years some historians have cast serious doubts on the battle’s time-honoured location. To settle the matter, Dr Glen Foard was called in by Leicestershire County Council. He in turn enlisted the help of dedicated metal detecting enthusiasts and in March 2009, a 30mm lead ball was recovered with many more relics coming to light from the Fen Hole site, proving yet again, metal detectors in the right hands are invaluable tools in locating the sites of battlefields, skirmishes, meeting places, fairs, and the like. Being a keen artilleryman, Richard III probably chose the flat, Fen Hole site, where his guns could be used to maximum and devastating effect. Henry’s troops aware of the danger, and using the protection of the marshland, outflanked Richard’s artillery.
Significantly, the ‘Brat Pack’ are curiously silent about Dr. Foard’s co-operation with detectorists, though highly vocal and insulting to amateur archaeologists doing the same thing elsewhere! I wonder why?
All credit to the detectorists involved; and presumably will be ‘Mentioned in Dispatches’ and whether this ‘Bosworth Example’ evolves into the blue-print for co-operation, only time will tell. Importantly too, Dr Foard informs me….” The detectorists from the core detecting team were indeed reimbursed.”
“….THAT IS THE QUESTION”
On the subject of books written by archaeologists based on their excavations, critics allege they are in effect, being paid twice the same job; firstly from their salaries, or initial contract fees, and secondly, from any royalties realised from follow-up tomes. The academic value of these books is open to speculation bearing mind an excavation/research report (if such a mythical creature exists), is or should be, the definitive work, and if such a beast really does exist, what extra information can a book add to the overall canvas? Indeed, if such data does exist, why was it not in the original excavation report? Why was it held back for later private publication?
Though not currently illegal, many archaeologists with a literary bent who write books based upon their scrapings are merely pilgrims travelling a well-trodden archaeological literary path as many others have done before them. Whilst Policemen, Judges, and senior Civil Servants, and others salaried from the public purse, their critics allege, are not allowed to publish books or memoirs using actual data garnered during their official tenures; why, they say, should archaeologists and historians be exempt? A fair point you might think.
TRUE PIONEERS IN CO-OPERATION
The archaeo-bloggers’ spoilt-brat faction are throwing their toys out of the play-pen for no better reason than the Essex Detecting Society(EDS) is liaising with an amateur archaeology club, the Worlingworth Local History Group (WLHG) for organising a joint metal detecting event with profits going to local good causes. The ‘brats’ are even more spiteful towards the ‘offending’ amateur archaeologists for apparently sullying themselves by fraternising with people they have branded as the ‘enemy’. Of course, while it’s all very childish smacking of Sixth Form politics and totally unworthy and embarrassing for archaeology as a whole, it’s done wonders for metal detecting.
One archaeo-commentator summed it up rather succinctly. “Have PAS got it into their heads that amateur archaeologists think and act like detectorists?” he writes, “How insulting. They don’t.” And he’s not wrong! Some amateur arkies really do need to be raised to our scrupulous standards. For example, they don’t even have a Code of Practice, let alone Third Party Liability Insurance as detectorists do – a fact not lost on the NFU, and the more savvy landowners.
The excellent Worlingworth Local History Group are true pioneers and their joint venture could well lead to other similar events provided they remain courageous enough to a cock-a-snoop at supercilious archaeologists and simply ignore the vile, ludicrous comments of the head-bangers in their midst masquerading as intelligent human beings.
Well done the WLHG and EDS!
There are three things in the world that deserve no mercy; hypocrisy, fraud, and tyranny….
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
August 20, 2013
During my time I have run across only a handful of people who apparently displayed all the tragic traits of NPD. According to PsychCentral’s staff:
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.”
“People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness” or “stupidity” or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.”
For more data on this distressing condition visit: how-to-spot-a-narcissist.
The Revenge of the Insulted Narcissist: When the “brilliant” fail, watch out
Published on July 25, 2012 by Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.
“It’s now emerging that Colorado theater shooter James Holmes failed his graduate school oral exams last month.
Although he graduated from UC Riverside with honors as an undergraduate, leading the chancellor of the university to say “Academically, he was at the top of the top,” those who worked with Holmes directly say his research work was often substandard.
In other words, he made good grades in undergraduate classes but struggled with research work and in his graduate program. So after being told for years how smart and brilliant he was, he then found out that he wasn’t actually anything special.
(Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University, the author of Generation Me, and co-author of The Narcissism Epidemic).
So what’s NPD got to do with treasure hunting you ask? Well, nothing really, except should you come into contact with someone displaying the symptoms, don’t get angry with them. They need your understanding and/or referral to a specialist. Of course, some others are plainly loathsome and well deserving of a metaphorical kick in the goolies.
(What Frank Sinatra said about it )…The best revenge is massive success….
I’ll see you in the bar!
August 16, 2013
HARVEST TIME & THE UK’S RALLY SEASON – MORE RAW DATA FOR THE PAS
As the crops fall to the combines, thousands of acres of arable farmland is made ready for the Rally season – and there are some real corkers out there – on undetected farmland close to historical sites with the prospect of significant finds a real possibility with many no doubt falling into the ‘treasure’, or historically significant categories. It’s an exciting time.
It also the time of year radical arkies (the Comrades) hate most of all, simply because the quality of finds made by amateur metal detectorists outshines anything they can muster. or indeed, as they obliged to do, like treasure hunters, report them to the PAS.
Mainstream historians on the same wavelength of Britain’s army of detectorists are rubbing their hands with glee at the prospects ahead.
TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN
Without wanting this to read like an obituary, my great pal Dick Stout (who still owes me $20) has decided to hang up his treasure hunting trowel and move into semi-retirement. Though he’s not yet ready for the ‘Sunshine Home for the Ga Ga’ (though you wouldn’t think so when he’s been on the Californian Merlot), he’s staying around to annoy, ridicule, and generally extract the urine out of the ‘Red Banner Comrades,’ (the Luddites whom history left behind), the fatuous, and the Nigel Swift’s of this world. Equally I suspect, the knuckle-draggers in the hobby will come in for some deserved bile too!
He reckons he’s gonna “sit at the water’s edge” and watch the trout before making his move. Only an angler will really understand this…and as an angler, I await the lash of the viper’s tongue with relish.
Dick’s done more for the furtherance of this hobby than anyone alive, even fighting our corner in Washington, DC; he’s authored hundreds of treasure hunting articles and countless books on the subject during the three decades (and then some!) he’s been at the very pinnacle of the hobby. What he doesn’t know about the hobby and its politics, you can write on the back of a postage stamp.
He’s the Rocky Marciano of the hobby, and like my great boxing hero, retiring undefeated….
(Happy with this Dick? Now, do I get that 20 Bucks? Plain envelope as usual).
(D.S.) John, you are “pissed” (as in having one too many) and full of crap!
Remember (the words of Rocky Marciano)…
It don’t do no good to hit a man if you don’t hurt him….
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
August 7, 2013
In order to assist any gormless, émigré itinerant arkies seeking employment across Eastern Europe; or dense, hidebound, archaeo-bloggers; or the terminally fatuous; warnings that some articles appearing here are ‘tongue-in-cheek,’ will NOT be issued. The editorial team believes it has a duty not to hinder anyone falling into the aforementioned taxonomies from making complete buffoons of themselves, thus providing a welcome source of mirth for the treasure hunting community.
CULTURAL RESEARCH AND PROTECTION…C.R.A.P.
UNESCO is now referring to shipwreck-sites as the, “world’s underwater cultural heritage,” and goes on to describe the seabed as, “the biggest museum of the world”. Underwater cultural heritage??? Huh? What dat den? Another mealy-mouthed, self-important catchphrase, posturing as some kind of a self-righteous concept I suspect. Of course, all this like much of that foisted on an unsuspecting public, is absolute utter, utter, claptrap! It must be resisted, fought, and exposed at every turn.
“Protecting our underwater heritage is extremely important and increasingly urgent as no site or shipwreck is now out of bounds for treasure hunters,” says Lyndel Prott, [You sure it’s Prott? Dick] of UNESCO’s Cultural Heritage Division. Well Lyndel, my old cocker, thank God for that! “New technologies have made deep-water wrecks easily accessible and these technologies are getting cheaper.” Indeed they are old pal; technologies funded by the treasure hunters themselves, not by (one suspects) overpaid, and underworked ivory-towered UNESCO Wallahs doing their best it appears, to keep the world’s arkies in the comfortable life-style to which they have become accustomed. Put another way, they want the private enterprise treasure hunters to fund the explorations and then move to capture the credit…no change there you might think! But, the times and ethics they are a’changin’ and UNESCO’s Luddites are being left behind as new alliances are forged.
Everyone knows that treasure hunters don’t hold a monopoly of the heritage villainy. Arguably then, putting access to priceless objects of one sort or another solely in the hands of the close-knit archaeology community amounts to a cartel and a considerable temptation for its light-fingered members; and there’s evidence aplenty of archaeological fingers being caught in the cookie jar.
Indeed, who in his right financial mind is prepared to invest in a multi-million dollar archaeological excavation of a shipwreck simply for a few coins, pottery shards, and meagre ancillary data? What about the Mary Rose, you ask. So what about the Mary Rose? Who benefitted most from that little escapade? See above!
UNESCO’s 2001 Convention on the Protection of the Underwater Cultural Heritage was on the face of it, ordained to safeguard, all past traces, “of human existence that have been preserved in a submerged environment for at least 100 years and have a cultural, historical or archaeological character” as they hand-wringingly put it. More humbug follows to no-one’s surprise at all, and the convention prattles on that, submerged archaeological sites should be considered as heritage and should be studied without being subjected to looters or commercial exploitation. Why should they be so considered? Why shouldn’t private enterprise have a go at exploiting them for profit? Surely any right-minded person will say that it all depends on what constitutes an archaeological site and who does the designating. But the seabed as a vast underwater museum is taking things too far and a sure sign that the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
Mercifully, the convention’s proponents are not without their barrackers, with many powerful critics from the salvage industry itself who argue that adherence to the convention deprives the public from accessing their heritage, which if not brought to the surface by treasure hunting experts, many shipwrecks will succumb to natural elements.
Then again if it’s everyone’s ‘heritage,’ as the burning martyrs of archaeology never cease in wailing, then everyone has a right to search for it, whether with a metal detector or a multi-billion hi-tech treasure hunting outfit. Just so long as we pass on the contextual data of the finds al la Portable Antiquities Scheme, so much the better. Certainly UK treasure hunters have, and are, contributing far more to the academic record than ever before, and outstripping the contributions of amateur archaeologists or their field-walking brethren, and capturing the public’s imagination and enthusiasm with spectacular finds.
We have to ask the question? Can archaeology be left in the hands of…archaeology? More to the point dare we leave politically motivated archaeology with its eye on the dollar signs and eager to corner a lucrative market? Not on your life!
Cammo gear is definitely the right gear for treasure hunting, though Dick and I prefer the black ex-SAS/Navy SEAL one-piece suits with a Balaclava and a night-vision ‘scope. Nevertheless, the Detecting Diva, one Allyson Cohen, looks mighty good in her cammo gear as seen on the front cover of a UK detecting magazine, yet she amazingly came in for some derogatory remarks from certain archaeological quarters.
Look at Photo 1, which shows archaeologists seemingly pondering at an excavation somewhere in Poland. Then look at Photo 2, from the cover of Britain’s widely regarded top metal detecting magazine. Who looks the best dressed for the job in hand? The Wurzel Gummage body double in the white (?) shirt, or, the Diva? Not much of a competition is it?
GOOD LUCK, ODYSSEY MARINE!
Channel Five’s new ‘Billion Dollar Wreck’ series kicked-off with Odyssey Marine’s fabulous recovery of billions of dollars-worth of silver bullion from the wreck of the SS Gairsoppa, 14,000-meters down in the Atlantic, made for superb television. Gripping stuff. More follows in this great series.
Did the Christians have a better chance against the lions than treasure hunters have against the UNESCO ?
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
July 30, 2013
UK RALLIES ON THE RACK! IS THE END NIGH?
It’s always a sure sign hard times are here again when a CBA Director, mounts his high horse to lay claim the moral high ground in the heritage stakes. In this instance, Mike Heyworth has thrown the toys out of the CBA’s pram by holding court without challenge on the Farming Today program by spouting the customary, age-old, clichéd trademarks, of full-throttle CBA ‘bullshit’, aided and abetted by that paragon of so-called ‘balanced’ reporting, the good old BBC, whose program about agricultural topics fell well short of what might be expected in the accuracy stakes.
Evidently Heyworth has the BBC where he wants them. Equally, one suspects, the opportunity to challenge Heyworth’s take on the heritage never was on Farming Today’s reporting agenda. Indeed, the BBC seems more than happy to oblige the Heyworth’s soothing foreplay, with follow-up programs. A reprise of the famous When Harry Met Sally diner scene, can only be days away! Yes! Yes! That’s the hobby’s problem, not the CBA’s!
It was a great PR coup for Heyworth and CBA and I have to say that I would have done precisely the same given an equal chance – all’s fair in the treasure hunting vs archaeology war. UK treasure hunters and detectorists really should be under no illusion (metal detector loving Neil Oliver aside for the moment) the CBA not only wants YOUR guts but a complete ban on metal detecting rallies at best, or at worst, to have them brought firmly under their control. As the CBA’s ‘anti’ campaign moves up a gear, I’m afraid, in the absence of any defense from the hobby itself, the days of rallies under hobby rules and regulations are numbered.
Where Farming Today failed so spectacularly, and no prizes for guessing why, was that it neglected to inform farmers of the serious money to be made from allowing legal, wholesome, and family orientated metal detecting rallies on their land. Mysteriously, in a program dedicated to farming matters, this aspect of diversification, and in accordance with the CBA’s view on such events one suspects, was very neatly sidestepped. Can Farming Today be trusted elsewhere in matters agricultural?
Hard times? You betcha…anything to persuade farmers and landowners to ‘save’ (from you!) suspected archaeological sites for the common heritage (read ‘their heritage’), whilst looking to keep archaeologists in a perpetual state of redundancy-free employment using the customary mélange of unskilled diggers, gap year teens, recuperating alcoholics, cold turkey substance abusers, or students looking for a little ‘off piste’ action in the tents back at base camp; not forgetting of course, serial thieves anxious to supply the black market in antiquities with ‘hot’ ceramics.
Whilst thousands of ordinary souls are fighting job redundancies and the fiscal hardships that come hand-in-hand with economic downturns, some in the archaeology circus secure their incomes under the guise of ‘important’ academic research; and isn’t every archaeological excavation ‘highly significant’, or, ‘totally unique,’ to use their job-saving jargon? I’ve never heard an arkie say, “Actually, this dig is not very significant, dunno why we bothered.” Have you? They get away with all this nonsense since no-one ever challenges the cost on behalf of the taxpayer.
Surely, someone in government must be aware of the great hoodwink being perpetrated on the hard working and hard-pressed taxpayer? So why not have words in the shell-like of your Member of Parliament? Better still, why not drop a line to your local National Farmers Union office and explain the about the profits to be made from metal detecting rallies which the CBA is cunningly steering farmers away from. Tell them too about the runaway success of the Portable Antiquities Scheme which it appears, the Council for British Archaeology bizarrely opposes!
Remember… (the words of Edward R. Murrow)
“We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home….
“I’ll see y’all in the bar!
July 23, 2013
THE COUNCIL FOR BRITISH ARCHAEOLOGY STILL WANTS FULL CONTROL…..OVER YOU!
Listening to the BBC’s early morning program, ‘Farming Today’ on Radio Four, I was awoken from my slumbers to the dulcet tones of the CBA’s Director, Mike Heyworth. He was spouting the same usual CBA nonsense of thirty years ago when Henry Cleere, an old sparring partner of mine was its chief honcho. Heyworth is, readers will recall, an aficionado of the ludicrous and now discredited, Artefact Erosion Counter, ala Warsaw Wally/Heritage Harry. This fact in itself puts Heyworth’s comments, to use an archaeological metaphor, into the context of bovine scatology.
In three decades the CBA’s learned nowt; still angling for total control over farming practices and a prohibition on deep-ploughing; the outlawing of, or severe restrictions of, metal detectorists. But one of Heyworth’s comments resonated when he said that metal detector rallies needed controlling (by him and the apparatchiks presumably!) as thousands of metal detectorists can turn up at these events. Yeah, you’re right there Mikey, thousands of people who you’d love to turn up in the same numbers at your dull-as-ditchwater archaeology days.
His Orwellian vision of how the countryside and the people who live in it should be administered and expressed with the implicit threat that farmers be denied money-making ventures from metal detecting rallies, simply because the CBA, a charitable non-government organization by the way, takes umbrage, serves as a warning to all right thinking people what will happen when academics (in the loosest sense) take over.
I have to say, unsurprisingly, that I agree with those many farmers who take equal umbrage at the asinine antics of these latter day commissars who’d love nothing better than to jackboot their way across the Shires. That these metal detecting rallies are held on private land and are a private commercial agreement between two private parties is no one else’s business, and certainly not the CBA’s I would have thought.
FOOT IN MOUTH TIME
“History may be accurate, but archaeology is precise.” Doug Scott
Reference: “Unearthed War Relics See Battle Again: Archaeologists Decry History Buffs’ Digs”, by Brigid Schulte, The Washington Post, Sunday, April 16, 2006.
Sorry Doug…obviously you’ve never heard of the Artefact Erosion Counter or of those who promote it…
GREAT NEWS FROM ODYSSEY MARINE
This from their recent update:
Odyssey Marine Exploration pioneers in the field of deep-ocean exploration, has recovered over 61 tons of silver bullion this month from a depth of nearly three miles.
This recovery of bullion from the SS Gairsoppa, a 412-foot steel-hulled British cargo ship that sank in February 1941, consists of 1,574 silver ingots weighing about 1,100 ounces each or almost 1.8 million troy ounces in total, sets a new record for the deepest and largest precious metal recovery from a shipwreck. The silver has been transported to a secure facility in the United Kingdom.
Including the silver recovered in 2012, Odyssey has now recovered 2,792 silver ingots from SS Gairsoppa or more than 99% of the insured silver reported to be aboard the Gairsoppa when she sank. Under the terms of Odyssey’s contract with the UK Department for Transport, which follows standard commercial practices, Odyssey will retain 80% of the net salved value of the cargo. The contract was awarded to Odyssey following a competitive tender process.
Sources, including Lloyd’s record of War Losses, indicate additional uninsured government-owned silver may have been aboard the SS Gairsoppa when she sank, but to date no uninsured silver has been located.
“This was an extremely complex recovery which was complicated by the sheer size and structure of the SS Gairsoppa as well as its depth nearly three miles below the surface of the North Atlantic,” commented Greg Stemm, Odyssey’s chief executive officer. “To add to the complications, the remaining insured silver was stored in a small compartment that was very difficult to access.
For more information, checkout; Odysseymarine.com
Well done Fellas!
Macedonia’s chief excavator, archaeologist Pasko Kuzman, has been arrested in connection with an investigation into the smuggling of antiquities.
“Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.”…..George Orwell
I’ll See Y’all in the Bar
July 19, 2013
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, BARFORD GETS GOIING…
“I really feel no need to “defend” my position on this or anything else, on Holcombe’s “Relic Roundabout”. Neither is it at all clear what I would be defending it from (Lisa McIntyre and her vision of Shangri-La?). I have access to forums, I have several blogs. Anyone who wants to learn my “position” can do so, anyone who does not can keep away. Anyone who wants to try to question my position generally does (usually though, it has to be said, by methods of the schoolyard than reasoned debate – there is no reason to think “Relic Roundabout” would be any different). Artefact collectors and their archaeologist “partners” are welcome to use the comments section of my blog to add their own thoughts. Mr Holcombe however has failed to show up so far.”
All I can suggest is that Barford, otherwise known as ‘Warsaw Wally’, straps a four-foot length 4”x2” wood to his spine to give himself some ‘backbone’. There you have it; all venom and no guts! Frit! Frit! Frit!
Now, let’s leave this ‘hero’ to wallow in his own…..faeces.
THIS, ALSO FROM BARFORD….
“…is quite interesting that artefact hunters, the metal detector using ones in particular, continue to deny that there is any connection between their hobby and the trade in illicitly-obtained archaeological artefacts.”
This, by Contrast, from the US Attorney Peter Tompa’s Blogsite… Cultural Property Observer…..
“Macedonia’s top archaeologist is being held for suspected smuggling of ancient artifacts. In CPO’s view, draconian rules against collecting and trading in artifacts are only an invitation to corruption at high levels. It’s much better to have an open but regulated (not over-regulated) trade that encourages transparency, public appreciation of the past and people to people contacts collecting brings.”
MAKE EXTRA CASH FROM THE HOBBY? BECOME A PRO!
Thanks to the stringent requirements of the 1996 Treasure Act which requires finders of items that may, or suspected to fall within the Act’s definition of ‘Treasure,’ then it is reasonable that metal detectorists who deliberately set out to find such objects claw back those expenses involved in the finding and subsequent reporting of those finds.
These expenses will include cost of the metal detector, fuel, subsistence, cost of batteries, business cards, even off-setting certain expenses against PAYE, especially if one sets up a part-time business as either a ‘Treasure Hunter’, or ‘Treasure Salvor.’
Initially, this will mean contacting HM Revenue and Customs and telling them what you intend doing; the name of your business, for starters. I’m uncertain of the requirements Stateside, but I suspect it’s quite similar.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
July 17, 2013
ARKIES VS.TEKKIES: AMERICAN DIGGER MAGAZINE’S ONLINE DEBATE
At last, an adult, joined-up conversation and discussion between the two opposing factions. For the Arkies, Lisa Macintyre punches above her weight and easily went the distance with Tekkie, Dick Stout; cerebral stuff indeed, and all done without an insult or snide remark being thrown, unlike the usual intellectually-deprived inane fare, put about by Heritage Harry, or his equally fatuous minion, Warsaw Wally.
Both Lisa and Dick emerged with reputations intact, if not enhanced somewhat and perhaps with the prospect of further similar programs on the cards. Certainly the door of co-operation is now ajar. An enjoyable and thoughtful debate. Maybe, the UK could learn a thing or two from this exercise, though we’d have to have ‘proper’ arkies.
VANDALS CAUGHT DIGGING INTO IRON AGE GRAVES
Yep…’fraid so, along with other archaeological sites too it seems, if newspaper reports are to be believed….and the culprits all got off Scot Free. So who are these heritage vandals who strike with impunity in the dead of night? Er….well…um…it’s Badgers! Yes, dear old ‘Brock’ Badger. Apparently they’ve been burrowing and making their homes in ancient burial sites on Salisbury Plain, the vast military training area in southern England. So, what to do with these vandals? ‘They should they face the full force of the law,’ says Pavel Thugwitski, adding that, ‘In the glorious former Communist dominated, People’s Republic of Poland, they would have been put up on a show trial, framed as ‘capitalist bourgeois lackeys’, then, facing the full wrath of the public prosecutor, Commissar Wally Bardfordski, taken out and shot.’
Hard line heritage commissars have told Malamute Saloon that if some Badgers could be ‘turned’ and agreed to work for ‘the State’, that is, to say, betray their brother badgers to the Ruling Elite their reward could include having their scribblings turned into books, and the apparatchiks would ensure they’d be offered a luxurious dachas on the shores of the Black Sea…a la Kim Philby/George Blake, and live happily ever after.
CORRECTION AND APOLOGY….
(1) In my last Malamute Saloon I gave the impression that one P M Barford had ‘written a book’ about the history of the Early Slavs. I was wrong; I should have said, ‘committed a book…’
(2) Owing to a printer’s error, my referral to ‘all units in amateur archaeology…’ should have read, ‘all you nits in amateur archaeology…’
Stupidity is when you can’t help it – ignorance is when you choose not to understand something…
I’ll See y’all in the bar!
July 9, 2013
The Early Slavs: Culture and Society in Early Medieval Europe, by one P M Barford (Paul), a near impenetrable turgid opus written in the now-familiar self-important style so beloved of academics, limped its way into the bookstores in 2001.
In the Preface to this ostensibly trail blazing volume, Barford lauds Poland’s then governing Communist regime (aka, The People’s Republic of Poland) without whose help he breathlessly explains, the history of the Early Slavs would be that much poorer:
“… the present work is the result of a lengthy stay in what was then the People’s Republic of Poland, the Government of which was extremely generous in supporting my research, which then enabled me to take up employment at the University of Warsaw to continue my work. Let this book be in a small way part of the repayment of my debt I owe to those who helped my research.”
Barford’s glowing praise of Poland’s then totalitarian Communist rulers is both unabated and unabashed…well, they did fix him up with a job and drop him a zloty or three, as he skillfully explains;
“The original research for this book would not have been possible were it not for all of those in the Ministry of Education of the People’s Republic of Poland for their interest in and funding of my initial research.”
‘Interest’ and ‘funding’, eh? Now, there’s a thought. Evidently the goose-stepping Commissars had got their priorities bang on target as to be lavish enough with the zloty’s to bank-roll the emerging literary ambitions of an émigré Englishman, fresh from the West, while their ‘interest’ in, and ‘funding’ of, the indigenous population was less bountiful. He must have been quite a prize since more people were shot dead escaping from this Socialist haven than those entering it!
Herein though, it must be said, lies a certain irony; though Barford had the freedom of choice to live in totalitarian Communist Poland (and why not if you’re into food shortages and the incarceration of political prisoners?) that same freedom was rarely extended to the Poles themselves by their Communist commissars. A contradiction in terms you might think? Nah…Barford sets us straight on page seven of the Introduction;
“A historian functioning in the reign of a tyrant rarely tells us bluntly that his ruler is a bad one, in fact in the case of totalitarian regimes quite the opposite.”
I’ll bet he penned this sentiment AFTER the Commies got the boot out of Poland!
….in 2008 Council of the European Union under the Presidency of Slovenia, published a report entitled CRIMES COMMITTED BY TOTALITARIAN REGIMES, which dealt in considerable detail the horrors of everyday life under Communist rule in Eastern Europe. It was less complimentary than Barford’s appraisal of life under the Hammer and Sickle. This damning indictment of Soviet barbarity had this to say about the plight of post-war Poland under the heel of Communism…
“Hundreds of thousands of people fell victims of terror during the Communist period, despite its motto “the struggle for peace and socialist democracy”, as ironic as it may sound. Every act of rebellion against the authorities from the end of World War Two to the period of the Solidarity movement in the 1980’s ended with a new period of repression and new victims. The entire machinery of the state, including the communist judicial system, formed new chains in the system of repression and enslavement.”
The leadership of the communist party shared the responsibility for all acts of the apparatus of terror, some of which fully deserve to be called crimes against humanity. The units of the Soviet Army stationed in Poland permanently from 1944 until their withdrawal in the early 1990’s served as an element of the system aimed to intimidate people.
For Poland, the war, which began with the invasion of Nazi Germany and the communist USSR in September 1939, ended 50 years later – in 1989.
Mass murders and acts of terror took place across the whole of post-war Soviet-occupied Poland.
On top of that, deportations to labour camps in the USSR continued and many soldiers of the Resistance and civilians were arrested. That period is still known in Russia as “the liberation of Poland by the Red Army”, in which nearly 100,000 people were sent to Soviet labour camps or gulags as they are also known. In many cases, acts of communist terror even surpassed the bestiality and cruelty of those committed by the Nazis.”
Ten years later, no-one was surprised when Barford formulated the preposterous and subsequently thoroughly discredited Artefact Erosion Counter in which, using figures and statistics hoiked from thin-air, purportedly to justify his malevolent (but intellectually barren ) crusade against metal detectorists.
His strident views against private collectors and detectorists, usually framed in obnoxious terms, are so bizarre that he has become a laughing stock and is rarely taken seriously.
I ’ll see y’all in the bar!
June 24, 2013
YES….IT WORKS VERY WELL IN SEAWATER!!!
I’m always delighted to help any Garrett ATPro owners with the ins and outs of this superb machine, but most surprisingly I find, are the numbers of queries in the mailbox revolving around its suitability for water hunting in saltwater, or over seawater-soaked sand.
The ATPro (mine’s the International version) is one of the pre-eminent machines for in-water hunting, or, over seawater-sodden sand and shingly foreshores. The trick is to Ground Balance (GB) to the precise conditions under the searchcoil and to GB at intervals throughout your search to keep the machine ‘sharp’ and on song. This is especially important when moving from damp sand say, to waterlogged sand, or sandpools, or from a sandy matrix to a pebble/shingle foreshore. The ‘Sensitivity’ really depends on how much ‘chatter’ you can endure, though a good starting point is one segment off maximum.
On the beach I usually work in PRO Mode ‘Custom’ with Iron Reject set to ‘35’ and Iron Audio to ‘On’ which relegates steel bottle tops to history without any depth loss! This arrangement also filters all the incoming signals into ferrous and non-ferrous, and combined with the digital readout facility saves unwanted and time-wasting digging. It was with this set-up that I found the .925 silver ring (see Photo) that registered ’91’ in a waterlogged shingle/sand part of the foreshore. Garrett’s online magazine, The Garrett Searcher spells it out too!
To discover how the ATPro performs in freshwater there is a terrific video on the Garrett website shot by Garrett’s super snapper, the redoubtable Brian ‘Stingray’ McKenzie. ‘Stingray’? Ah, that’s another story revolving around several pints of the fine ‘hoppy’ ale, Stingray, quaffed with gusto at the Square & Compass, a fine 17C Dorset inn …I can say no more. Names have been changed to protect the guilty!
It’s a fact of life that most smaller gold rings fall into the pull-tab range of between ’53’ to ‘56’. Therefore, if it’s all rings you’re after, and it’s the smaller ones with the diamonds, you’ll have to dig the numbers previously mentioned.
When I’m in-water hunting, I’ve found the smaller 5×8 coil, the same as fitted as standard to my ATGold, works well is easier to handle, control, and pinpoint.
WHEN WALLY COMMANDS….HARRY OBEYS
Whenever Wally says, ‘Jump’, Harry asks, ‘How high?’ An example of this can be seen in Wally’s latest barrel-scraping remarks posing as hard evidence and Harry’s latest and equally gormless article under the by-line of Farmer Silas: A dim-witted (but nevertheless amusing) pattern emerges. Currently Heritage Action is attacking Dr. Roger Bland of the British Museum’s Portable Antiquities Scheme, and it’s a situation rather like where the know-nothing novices are criticizing the Maestro. Remember too, Wally and Harry are the intellects behind the now discredited Artifact Erosion Counter, exposed here on Stout Standards as a complete sham. Sort of sums ‘em up really!
It’s all hardly surprising of course, since Wally is suffering an on-going and severe drubbing at the hands of former diplomat, Arthur Houghton, and US Attorney, Peter Tompa, on the Cultural Property Observer blog, while Harry’s intellectually arid arguments on the Heritage Action blog are regularly laid bare here on Stout Standards. Presumably, they have a burning need to vent his/their frustrations on someone, be it me, Stouty, metal detectorists in general, or Dr. Roger Bland. Indeed, the recent Malamute Saloon article, Espionage & Treasure Hunting, circa 1980, added to their combined woes, which for some reason currently beyond me, really got up Wally’s snozzle. Can’t imagine why…?
The irony of the whole situation is that thanks to Stout Standards, Wally and Harry are reaching a wider audience than they could ever have hoped for, though not for the reasons they originally intended! Their combined eccentric ramblings while no threat to anyone, are worthy of greater attention if only to show the world that Democracy tolerates people who espouse this kind of nonsense, and are free to spit their poison.
When the day dawns when we no longer legally permit them to vomit their dogma in public, is the day when Society will have descended into a totalitarian abyss. As someone once said about Wally, ‘let the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.’……….
Stupidity is when you can’t help it – but ignorance is when you choose not to understand.
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
June 19, 2013
THIRTY YEARS ON…OUT OF THE DARK AND INTO THE LIGHT
Metal detecting/treasure hunting has come a long way since the dark days of thirty years ago when it was almost snuffed out of existence. Today, it enjoys a high and popular profile with more practitioners – many are experts in their own right – than archaeology can only dream of, and is making a colossal contribution to the recording of the heritage, is lauded by Government Ministers and far-thinking historians alike and indeed, many in the heritage sector owe their salaries and livelihoods to this amateur phenomenon.Though opposition to the pastime has always existed, and continues from an obnoxious vocal minority, thirty years ago there was a more sinister element to the antagonism than the playground name-calling we see and hear nowadays.
Back then, an ill-fated, nationwide, anti-metal detecting campaign Stop Taking Our Past (STOP) was initiated in the early 1980’s by a loose confederation of heritage organisations, not least among them, the Council for British Archaeology (CBA). Some of these organisations when cornered blustered, “No, not us guv.” The aroma that STOP ‘protesteth too much,’ hung heavy in the air. Few on the detecting side of the argument at the time realized the source of the pong …but two individuals, failed to be hoodwinked.
Left-wing politics and theory have for many years gone hand-in-blouse with Left-leaning archaeologists, historians, and others, who hanker for the Marxist life. An early pioneer who championed the notion of ‘Marxist Archaeology’ was the Australian archaeologist, Gordon Childe. Another prominent archaeologist in 1982 even espoused the notion that all antiquities should be nationalized, and all private land taken into the public ownership. Neil Faulkener is another enthusiast; a former Features Editor of Current Archaeology; has written widely on Marxist theory and his latest book, A Marxist History of the World: from Neanderthals to Neoliberals (2013) is now on the shelves.
It eventually dawned on some in detecting lobby that the opposition to metal detecting might not be rooted in academic theory after all, but in politics, even subversion. A team of dedicated people, comprising carefully selected detectorists and others, all opposed to what STOP was trying to achieve, was formed and began a fight back where the order of the day was, ‘No Prisoners’. Shortly afterwards, came their first break.
Following discussions with a high level archaeologist one of the team realised at the meeting’s later de-briefing session, that the archaeologist had inadvertently let slip a snippet of information about the team member that only someone with connections to a foreign intelligence agency could have known. He knew then, his own background was under scrutiny. He even considered the possibility that supposed slip was actually an intentional, surreptitious overture to recruit him! He suspected too, that his phone was being tapped and set about releasing a few hares to see whose dogs chased them. He was not disappointed.
At the time, the STOP Campaign in full flow, with allegations that Nighthawking – the illicit or clandestine excavation with metal detectors of protected sites being – being thrown about like confetti with dire warnings that a tsunami of heritage crime was sweeping the land; unsurprisingly, this kind of propagandist nonsense was manna from heaven to archaeology’s dutiful foot soldiers who rallied enthusiastically to the ‘cause’, but only to die of humiliation on the battlefield when the STOP campaign was finally exposed as distorted and factually inaccurate.
What most of archaeology’s rank and file didn’t realise at the time, was they were being cruelly and unashamedly prostituted to assist Soviet intelligence, as some in metal detecting circles now believe given the connections between archaeology and Leftist politics. Though some STOP supporters knew which way was up; many though, were Babes-in-the-Wood types with a genuine concern but a poor grasp of the detecting facts.
By the 1970’s and early 1980’s Soviet intelligence cells and sleeper agents were active in Britain, furnished with Soviet made weapons and radio transmitters cached in ‘hides’ across the UK. This at a time when a new populist craze was sweeping the UK; Metal Detecting! Many people in the detecting lobby now believe this threat was not lost on Soviet intelligence or on their willing helpers in academia.
Indeed, one of these state-of-the-art Soviet radio ‘squirt’ transmitters was accidentally found buried on a hillside in north Wales. It was equipped with pre-set frequencies with operating instructions translated from Russian to English on attached micro-film. Britain’s Security Service (MI5) believes that the radio was the property of a British-manned Soviet subversion unit based in Liverpool.
Further MI5 enquiries revealed that six Russians posing as representatives of a Trade Delegation had previously booked into a hotel near to the find spot. Four of the six named in the hotel’s register had previously been among the 105 Soviet diplomats expelled from Britain in 1971 for activities incompatible with their diplomatic status, the official term for espionage.
The personnel of these deep-cover, sleeper subversion units, were relieved and refreshed at regular intervals by Soviet GRU intelligence officers (military intelligence), or Spetsnaz Special Forces troops, arriving at Britain’s dockyards disguised as merchant seamen. Whereas Soviet diplomats were travel limited to a 25-mile radius of London’s Soviet Embassy, no such restriction applied to Soviet Bloc non-diplomats posing as sailors coming ashore. It might be ‘Ivan’ who came down the gangplank, but it was always ‘Igor’ who returned aboard.
To secrete arms caches and radio transmitters, safe areas had to be sought, and the safest places were those that would not be tampered with, or at risk of development. The obvious choice was, some claim, protected archaeological areas. However, what Soviet intelligence failed to realise or had not reckoned with, was the upsurge and popularity of metal detecting; and the prospect of Joe Public swanning around with metal detectors across the land even straying onto protected sites or areas, did not fill them with glee.
Soon, the spectre of ‘Nighthawking’ appeared, cooked-up by an increasingly panicky lobby with metal detectorists desperately propagated as a serious threat to the heritage. The message behind it all being that the use of metal detectors had to be seriously curbed and controlled and kept well away from archaeological sites, even banned outright…not for the coins they might dig up, but to maintain the integrity of the clandestine paraphernalia of espionage tucked away ready for action.
In fact, the threat of Soviet sabotage was taken so seriously that during the early ‘80’s NATO staged the largest military exercise seen in Britain since D-Day to practice a counter to the threat posed by Soviet Spetsnaz commandos, who, as a prelude to a full-scale invasion of Britain would knock-out vital defences such as the early-warning system at Fylingdales in Yorkshire. The elite Special Air Service Regiment acted out the role of the Soviet Spetsnaz Special Forces.
During this same period, Soviet intelligence was already under way on its ‘March through the Institutions’ to infiltrate every aspect of British life and to recruit willing agents of influence prepared to promote the cause of Communism and betray their country. Subsequent arrests of traitorous MP’s, civil servants and others, proved the case. It was estimated that at one point, Britain’s socialist, Labour Party had over 100 of its Members of Parliament on the Soviet’s payroll. Some notable high profile scalps fell to MI5, including MP, John Stonehouse.
It is then, against this background that some people on the metal detecting/treasure hunting side of the fence firmly believe that STOP was ruthlessly used in an attempt to bring swingeing changes to the heritage laws; though the Ancient Monuments and Archaeological Areas Act 1979, slipped under the radar with just a handful of MP’s in the House at the time it passed into law on the last session of parliament. The Act prohibits the use of metal detectors in protected areas, and rightly so, but it is perhaps, a lasting (and unintentional testament) to the influence of Soviet intelligence.
So, in the three decades since STOP, have attitudes changed? Certainly the CBA’s stance hasn’t, judging from recent comments. While their attitudes remain stuck in the 1980’s, we now have the ever-burgeoning Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS) under the very able Dr Roger Bland at the British Museum, specifically set up to deal with artefacts found by members of the British public, the overwhelming majority of whom are metal detectorists and treasure hunters.
We as a hobby here in the UK have moved on to greater things…archaeology generally remains axle deep and stuck fast. For the Americans, STOP is resonating in some areas though the cause is unaffected by espionage… partly by unopposed spiteful, obnoxious, sometimes ill-informed opinion formers, but mostly by heritage professionals who fear YOU and your successes.
Now the fight is yours to be won, and you may well be losing ground already – not because you ain’t collectively smart enough…but through collective apathy
Remember …the words of Vladimir Putin…
“Anyone who doesn’t regret the passing of the Soviet Union has no heart. Anyone who wants it restored has no brains.”
I’ll see y’all in the bar!
COCK-UP, OR CONSPIRACY?
Well they made it. The £30-million Mary Rose Museum finally opened in Portsmouth, England, on the 30th May 2013, to house the remains of King Henry VIII’s prized warship that sank in the waters of The Solent in 1545 before his very eyes. Nevertheless, the Mary Rose has its share of critics who see too many unexplained loose ends flapping about. Successive governments they say, amongst other things, have all been more than a little coy about aspects of the Museums’ funding.
In their opinion, the Mary Rose should never have been in receipt of public money in the first place; it being a private amateur enterprise subsequently hi-jacked by heritage professionals who perhaps saw the venture as a long-term, main chance, employment opportunity. Even the national press had latched on to this aspect with one piece entitled, “The wreck of the Mary Rose team.”
Hi-jacked or not, what they consider controversial are certain aspects of the Mary Rose’s funding and grant aid. To support this view they cite the Mary Rose’s designation in 1973 as a ‘protected wreck’ which they claim, disqualified it from public funding. The Ancient Monuments & Archaeological Areas Act 1979 (AM&AAA), spells out the situation. Public funding or grant-aid made under this Act is strictly defined and limited to what it defines as “Monuments”.
Under this Act, “Monument” means (subject to subsection (8) below) —
(a) any building, structure or work, whether above or below the surface of the land, and any cave or excavation;
(b) any site comprising the remains of any such building, structure or work or of any cave or excavation; and
(c) any site comprising, or comprising the remains of, any vehicle, vessel, aircraft or other movable structure or part thereof which neither constitutes nor forms part of any work which is a monument within paragraph (a) above; and any machinery attached to a monument shall be regarded as part of the monument if it could not be detached without being dismantled.
(8) Subsection (7) (a) above does not apply to any ecclesiastical building for the time being used for ecclesiastical purposes, and subsection (7) (c) above does not apply —
(a) to a site comprising any object or its remains unless the situation of that object or its remains in that particular site is a matter of public interest;>[?
(b) to a site comprising, or comprising the remains of, any vessel which is protected by an order under Section 1 of the Protection of Wrecks Act 1973 designating an area round the site as a restricted area.[My highlights]
In 1973, the Mary Rose was the second wreck to be designated under this Act…
Thus, it’s not hard to understand how some contemporary commentators argued that the government of the day allegedly acted illegally by donating funds (totaling £100,000), a sum matching that given by the ultra-shady, American billionaire philanthropist, Armand Hammer, who set out the terms that his loan of £100K need not be repaid if the Mary Rose raised an equal amount. However, when the £100,000 promised to the Mary Rose, allegedly from the £45-million haul of gold bullion salvaged from the light cruiser, HMS Edinburgh, scuttled in the Barents Sea in 1942, failed to materialize, the manure collided with the air-conditioning.
With professional fees totaling some £112K and being called-in by the professionals whose various expertise had been used to draw up plans for the design and construction of the structure to house the 15th Century warship, and with the prospect Hammer’s loan conditions unlikely to be met, a £212K shortfall loomed large.
The waters were muddied still further with the widely unknown fact that Britain’s Security Service (MI5) held a bulky file on Armand Hammer, a Soviet KGB ‘agent of influence’. Apart from the dire fiscal situation facing the Mary Rose, another awful prospect loomed: The future King of England – the Prince of Wales – and President of the Mary Rose Trust, faced the uncomfortable prospect of seeing the Trust in hock to a Soviet KGB agent. Indeed, why was HRH not warned about Hammer’s intelligence connections?
Some conspiracy theorists even suggest – something I find hard to believe – that Hammer’s £250K offer was a carefully contrived KGB plot to have HRH, via the Mary Rose Trust, gripped by the short and curlies following the anarchist’s dictum that, when you’ve got ‘em by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.
With the prospect of insolvency fast approaching, they claim, so too was a potentially disastrous public relations scenario. HRH The Prince of Wales, had allegedly, been promised £100K from the 1982 salvage operation to recover HMS Edinburgh’s gold bullion. Interestingly, the salvor of the gold bullion, Keith Jessop, had allegedly offered to donate £100K to an unspecified ‘marine charity’ as part of his sealed bid to win the salvage contract from HM Government and the Salvage Association. He won the contract much to the chagrin of other, larger salvage companies, some of whom regarded Jessop Marine as little more than underwater scrap metal merchants.
On 30th August, 1981 the dive-support vessel Stephaniturm set out for HMS Edinburgh’s wreck site in the Barents Sea. By the 15th September, Jessop’s team had finally penetrated the bomb room where the gold bullion was stored and recovered the first of the gold ingots.
In the event, 431 of 465 ingots aboard were recovered.In 1986, twenty-nine further ingots were recovered bringing the total to 460, leaving five unaccounted for. Indeed, some of the Soviet officials aboard the Stephaniturm were undoubtedly KGB officers, and aboard at Soviet’s insistence as observers, seeing as Britain and Russia would take the lion’s share of the spoils. Was Hammer tipped-off by the on-board Soviets about Jessop’s reneging on the alleged gold bar donation? Perhaps.
Many questions still need answers, not least billionaire Armand Hammer’s involvement in the Mary Rose’s funding. Primary among these is whether the alleged ‘marine charity’ allegedly in Jessop’s salvage bid was indeed the Mary Rose?
That the Mary Rose was listed as a protected wreck on the List of Protected Wrecks in 1974, (which on paper at least excluded it from grant-aid), raised a few eyebrows in many quarters, when 100K of public money dropped into its lap, just at the time it faced fiscal meltdown.
Nevertheless, the government seems to have a grant-aid ‘ace’ up its sleeve, by virtue of an ambiguously worded section of the AM&AAA, which critics say, is so airy-fairy it could easily have been interpreted to wrench the Mary Rose out of Armand Hammer’s fiscal clutches by enabling a grant:
(1)The Secretary of State may undertake, or assist in, or defray or contribute towards the cost of, an archaeological investigation of any land which he
considers may contain an ancient monument or anything else of archaeological or historical interest.
That, you might think, is that…job done and dusted. But the bitter tang of revenge hangs in the air some say. More I suspect, simply happenstance.
Nonetheless, a series of bizarre coincidences dogged some of the main players. A contemporary note in the London Times ‘Diary’ column, posed the question whether Prince Charles had put the royal boot in when he described the prize-winning blueprint for the Hampton Extension to London’s National Gallery, as looking like “a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much-loved and elegant friend.” Is there a Mary Rose connection to this insult?
By another sheer co-incidence, Peter Ahrends, of the internationally respected architectural firm, Ahrends, Burton and Koralek (ABK), the same firm who asked payment for their part in the design of the original Mary Rose museum Portsmouth Dockyard, just happened to be the National Gallery’s Hampton Extension’s architect! English Heritage says this on its website; “ABK’s victory in the prestigious 1982 competition for an extension to the National Gallery in London reflected the firm’s standing but the scheme was abandoned following a controversial intervention by the Prince of Wales.” Hmmmmm!
Whilst archaeologists involved in the Mary Rose’s excavation are amazed – and never cease sharing their astonishment – that the bodies of nits are present in wooden and bone combs belonging to the crew, they fail to answer the whereabouts of the heavyweight leaden chest containing the hundreds of hammered silver and gold coins, representing the daily pay of the 700 officers and men (now mysteriously reduced to 500). In those days, crews were paid daily and the Mary Rose was victualed for ten days at sea: 700 x 10 = 70,000 coins minimum!
Neither has the heavy gold chain with its gold bosun’s whistle (weighing some four pounds in total) presented to the Mary Rose’s captain by Henry VIII at a banquet the night before she sailed from Portsmouth, ever come to light. According to one archaeological account at the time…”It must have floated away in the current”. Yes! Yes! Of course, that’s it! Not being an expert on the vagaries of the Solent’s powerful tides, perhaps the chest and chain really did wash away heavy lead chests and heavy gold chains, whilst lightweight combs remain unaffected.
Aftermath…and another kicking?
Keith Jessop, died on May 22nd aged 77.
In his Obituary, on the 25th May 2010, The Daily Telegraph wrote… “The British and Soviet governments took the lion’s share, but Jessop’s personal cut came to about £2 million. His moment of triumph, however, was soon soured. In a newspaper article article, and then in a book, a writer who had accompanied the Edinburgh recovery claimed that the divers had desecrated the War Grave – a charge that, as a proud ex-Royal Marine, Jessop found particularly offensive – and that an official of the Salvage Association had been bribed to secure the contract.
Jessop sued for libel; the book was pulped, he accepted an out-of-court settlement and was awarded costs.
The police investigated the allegations and concluded that there was no case to answer. But the DPP overruled them, and in 1984 Jessop went on trial at the Old Bailey charged with conspiring to contravene Section Two of the Official Secrets Act and with conspiracy to defraud the unsuccessful bidders for the Edinburgh contract. The prosecution case collapsed and Jessop was acquitted on all charges, but his reputation had been tarnished.”
As he often said: “I can deal with the sharks in the water. It’s the ones in pinstripe suits on dry land that I have problems with.”
Armand Hammer died, December 10th 1990, Los Angeles, California, aged 92, not universally esteemed.
THE ARTEFACT EROSION COUNTERS COCK IT UP…YET AGAIN!
The teeny-boppers over at Heritage Action reckoned that Wales’ Portable Antiquities Scheme was awash with money, though a direct enquiry, unsurprisingly, presents a different picture. “The National Museums of Wales,” they whine, “Have just proposed a restructuring programme to save £2.5m, with 23 job losses.” But then, displaying the eloquence for which they are famed, they go on to report, “Quite right” snorted the NCMD spokespig, “We have to prioritise spending.”
Is it hardly surprising that Heritage Action’s Chairman, Nigel Swift (aka, Heritage Harry) allegedly lives in constant fear of a pat in the kisser? Bet he
wouldn’t have said that face-to-face with any NCMD Council member, not that I’m here to fight National Council’s corner; just to highlight the quality of the ill-mannered pond life with which we co-exist.
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’”…….Groucho Marx
I’ll see y’all in the bar….
June 2, 2013
ARKIE CAUGHT WITH HIS FINGERS IN THE TILL…AGAIN!
Archaeologist James Vessey, 35, was working on an excavation site in the City of Bath in 2008 from where he stole three Bellarmine vases uncovered during the excavations. The vases dating from the mid-1600’s mysteriously vanished from the site before they could be sent to his employers, the Museum of London, for analysis.
However, in 2012, an eagle-eyed archaeologist spotted one of the vases for sale on eBay. Vessey was given a four-month suspended sentence by Bath magistrates and ordered to do 270 hours unpaid community service.
The magistrate’s court heard that Vessey had a history of stealing artefacts from excavations and had previously served a 15-month jail term in 2001 for theft. (read the Daily Mail article here)
What I find extraordinary is that Vessey, a convicted serial thief of archaeological artefacts and valuables, was only given a suspended sentence! What sort of message is this sending out to other archaeologists tempted to augment salaries with the odd tax-free bonus? Indeed, when in the past I have suggested on the Malamute Saloon that it really is the arkies who are feeding the ceramics market, Warsaw Wally and his UK pal, Heritage Harry, simply pooh-poohed it!
Now boys, how do you like yer eggs boiled?
MIND WHERE YOU STEP!
Seems to me the ‘Thoughts of Chairman Wally’ are becoming increasingly like the animal excrement that litters our pavements (sidewalks) and however one navigates the by-ways and highways, it’s difficult to avoid.
However, whilst I go to extreme lengths to extract the urine out this nonentity, others, mainly academics, take him more earnestly by suggesting Wally’s general heritage argument is ‘intellectually impoverished’, with one commenter devastatingly describing him thus;
“Fellows like this, people of many words and little distinction, don’t read very well and tend to entangle themselves in a morass of illogic of their own making. It is predictable, and laughable. And worth ignoring. The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on.”
It’s not hard to understand Wally’s frenzied efforts to gain a foothold on the upward slope of credibility. He knows full well, as do the rest of us, that he’s of ‘little distinction’ and rarely up to our level. Now, being gradually eliminated from prominent blogs, his venom is largely and impotently limited to his own, lonely, cerebrally arid blog.
He is not, and never has been, any threat to this hobby nor to private collecting…
Everything’s coming up roses
I’ll see you in the bar….
May 22, 2013
IT’S GOOD TO TORQUE!
Nothing warms the cockles of a treasure hunters’ heart (like mine) more than a torc, especially a Celtic one, and they often turn up on roman sites dating from 100 to 200 AD.
The Treasure Act says: any object other than a coin provided that at least 10 per cent by weight of metal is precious metal (that is, gold or silver) and that it is at least 300 years old when found. In the case of metallic objects, other than coins, of prehistoric date containing less than 10 per cent of precious metal by weight of metal (they may be entirely composed of base metal, for example) there must be at least two such metallic objects from the ‘same find’
Expect high prices and demand the best prices from the Valuation Committee, and always have legal representation. Perhaps we should be looking at some kind of insurance scheme, similar to that for car drivers, to provide legal representation for such treasure eventualities.
Just a thought!
BE AN AMBASSADOR FOR THE HOBBY….IT PAYS OFF!
It’s quite extraordinary. The number of people I stop and chat with while treasure hunting along the miles of gold sands hereabouts. The conversation usually kick-off with, “Found any treasure? I’ve always fancied buying one of those [pointing at my ATPro metal detector]. Seems a great hobby.”
Then as the conversation deepens it soon transpires that though they are interested in history all they really want to do is their own thing and want no truck with amateur archaeology groups saying attitudes of these range from being too middle-class/bossy/Leftie/. Can’t say I disagree with them there I have to say, but what’s most surprising is the amount of goodwill that exists ‘out there’ for our hobby of the kind archaeology per se would kill for!
One elderly couple I bumped into recently and spent some time with explaining the ins and outs of the hobby, its hardware and the PAS, were captivated. It turned out they were Cotswolds sheep farmers and ….”We think there’s a Roman Villa in one of our fields”…the end result? I am looking forward to a few summer days hunting in rural Gloucestershire.
FESTIVAL OF ARCHAEOLOGY?
Once upon a time…..
“I regret that it appears to be a minority of metal detectorists who follow the Code of Practice.” Who says so? Mike Heyworth says so, and he’s the Drum-Banger-in-Chief at the Council for British Archaeology. Of course there’s no proof to back his shameful claim which follows closely the CBA’s apparent dictum of ‘Guilty’ until proven ‘Innocent’, but given his staggering approval of the heavily discredited and whacky Artefact Erosion Counter, it’s not hard to fathom why some of his fellow excavators might think it unfair that his views be curbed by anything approaching accuracy. He certainly aligns the CBA alongside the Brothers Grimm when it comes to fiction.
Yet, oddly, as part of his Council’s nationwide recruiting bash, they are encouraging this mythical minority of detectorists to attend a special series of two days of finds’ identification; one to be held in Dorset, and the other in Cambridgeshire. Presumably, they’ll all be regarded as being in the majority and have to fill-in forms, or provide other evidence to prove otherwise?
I rather suspect that at the end of the day, someone will tot-up the number of finds brought in, then multiply this figure by 100, which will be tapped into the disgraced Artefact Erosion Counter in an attempt to breathe the air of credibility into this now near-totally deflated blimp. Then, HEY PRESTO! ‘Evidence’ of malpractice appears and Warsaw Wally’s off on one of his crusades!
Don’t be fooled by the CBA. Whereas they never stop claiming that accuracy is their guiding light, events clearly show collective amnesia sets in when presenting any ‘facts and figures’ about metal detecting. Some of our more vocal opponents bellyache (read Sixth-Form/teenage angst, ’It’s Sooo unfair, innit!’) that metal detecting is all about private collecting. Well yes, in my view, it certainly is; there’s nothing wrong with private collecting or dealing in antiquities in any way, shape, or form. Archaeology on the other hand, might well be described as ‘institutionalized collecting’, shrouded in mystery by its disciples, but having the added bonus of keeping them well paid from the public purse, bursaries, and grant aid. After all, you never see an arkie on a bicycle.
Maybe the CBA’s jamboree ought to be renamed, the Carnival of Institutionalised Collecting and Jobs for Life? As a matter of fact, the PAS also applies to archaeologists too, from professionals (as in, they get paid, not as a measure of excellence) through to rank amateurs, and every shade of incompetence in-between. To paraphrase Mike Heyworth, “I regret that it appears to be a minority of archaeologists who follow the PAS.”
And they all lived unhappily ever after….
NO WONDER HE HIDES…
Loathe as I am to mention his name, Paul Barford, an Englishman (?) living in Warsaw, Poland, recently commented on his near unintelligible blog regarding the recovery of allegedly stolen items, which even by his standards of obnoxiousness and odd grammar, plumbed new depths awfulness.
It seems that police recovered over 900 allegedly looted artefacts from an address in Norfolk that had, allegedly, been illegally dug in Ireland over a period of a few years. Whilst everyone and anyone connected with the heritage welcomes the move, and presumably heavy penalties on conviction for those responsible for the theft, what do we get from Barford?
“Blooming stupid, isn’t it, that one side of a line on a map they look after the buried heritage, while the other side of the line, in the same group of islands off the coast of Europe, they do not. The English always look(ed) down on the Irish, but here’s at least one area where the Irish have surpassed their backward insular neighbors.”
Had the Irish authorities been adept at protecting their heritage as Barford suggests, then presumably they slipped up with this case of theft that spanned several years. Then he lets his prejudices slip. In a supreme act of arrogance, with his self-importance showing no bounds, he now takes it upon himself to speak for the entire English race in that the English, “always look(ed) down on the Irish…” No, Barford, I doubt we do or ever have, and it’s especially nauseating, though unsurprising, that you with your trademark superciliousness take it upon yourself to claim the English are racists.
Presumably Barford prefers to scratch out a living in Poland because he finds the English, “backward,” and “insular,” (that must look good on his cv). What the Poles must think of him, I cannot imagine. What I think of him, I’m forbidden to print! The longer we English maintain the status quo that he finds so unpalatable, then the longer he will continue to be a stranger to these shores.
“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” – Albert Einstein
I’ll see ya’ll in the bar….
May 17, 2013
CO-OPERATING WITH ARKIES?
A Treasure Hunter, having helped on an archaeological dig, goes up to the crusty old Excavation Director, who is renowned for his razor-sharp, archaeological mind.
Treasure Hunter: “Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?”
Excavation Director: “Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be an Excavation Director, would I?”
Treasure Hunter: “OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can’t give me the correct answer, will you let me keep those gold coins I unearthed for you?”
Excavation Director: “Hmmmm, well…alright. So what’s the question?”
Treasure Hunter: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
The Excavation Director wracks his famous brain, but just can’t crack the answer. He continues to wrack his brain all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer.
So finally he calls in a group of his brightest student excavators and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
To the Excavation Director’s surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.
“All right” says the Excavation Director, pointing to one of his students, “Tell us your answer.”
“It’s quite easy, Sir” says the brightest student, “You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a young lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife’s lover is that bastard treasure hunter who you’ve just let walk off with £10,000-worth of Celtic gold coins, which is neither logical nor legal.”
WELL FANCY THAT….
Mud Men (series 1) about detectorists hunting for coins and relics on the Thames Foreshore, was the HISTORY CHANNEL’s highest rating UK commission and commended as ‘Best Popular Factual Program’ at the Broadcast Digital Awards in May 2011…..
WELL, DON’T FANCY THAT…
The United Nations defines Human Rights thus: the “basic rights and freedoms to which all humans are entitled.” Examples of rights and freedoms which are often thought of as human rights include civil and political rights, such as the right to life and liberty, freedom of expression, and equality before the law; and social, cultural and economic rights, including the right to participate in culture, the right to food, the right to work, and the right to education.
The former Soviet Union’s notion of human rights (including its East European satellite states) was vastly different from those in the West where, “It is the individual who is the beneficiary of human rights which are to be asserted against the government.” Within the Soviet Bloc, emphasis was placed on economic and social rights such as access to health care, adequate nutrition, education at all levels, and guaranteed employment; just so long as you kept your lip buttoned.
So who on earth, apart from about- to-be-‘blown’ intelligence operatives, spies, high-level defectors, failed academics, assorted loonies, and dyed-in-the-wool communists, would want to live under such conditions? It’s a puzzle isn’t it, that as late as 1986, some westerners still migrated east through the Iron Curtain for a life in this Socialist Utopia.
I recently turned up this piece of high fashion on a local beach (ATPro International, 4.5-inch ‘Super Sniper’ coil). Ugly or what? I’d hate to bump into the lady who thought this was chic gear especially at night in a downtown alley!
Those who never take anything too seriously have a distinct advantage over those who do….
I’ll see y’all in the bar…
May 13, 2013
MORE EXCELLENT NEWS FOR HERITAGE PRESERVERS (That’s YOU!)
The following is taken from the Portable Antiquities website:
The Portable Antiquities Scheme receives Heritage Lottery Fund first-round pass for project to expand its volunteer base
Tuesday 2nd April 2013 Author: Claire Costin
The Heritage Lottery Fund (HLF) has awarded the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS) a first-round pass*, including development funding of £17,600, for a project to greatly enhance its volunteer program nationwide.
The aim of the project is to create Community Finds Recording Teams by recruiting and training new volunteers from local communities around England and Wales. These teams will work with their regional Find Liaison Officers (FLO) to record local finds onto the PAS database. They will also promote the activities of the PAS to new audiences in their areas, and recruit others to volunteer with the PAS and engage deeply with the history and archaeology of their local areas.
The project will lead to new data being generated for the PAS website, and dedicated project staff will monitor the information recorded to ensure it is of a high standard to all who need it. As part of the project a new section of the PAS website will be developed, which will be devoted to the work of the Community Finds Recording Teams and to the history and archaeology of their local areas.
Development of the project will start in April 2013, working towards a round two submission to HLF in order to receive a final decision on funding. If successful, the project will run for five years.
This new PAS project is one of a number of initiatives at the British Museum supported by HLF, including the Future Curators training scheme and the World Conservation and Exhibitions Centre. The Museum is extremely grateful for this continued support, and looks forward to working with HLF in developing its PAS second-round application.
Sue Bowers, Head of HLF London, said:
“The Heritage Lottery Fund is pleased to be giving initial support towards this project, which if successful will greatly enhance the important work that the Portable Antiquities Scheme provides across the UK. We are looking forward to working closely with the British Museum as they develop their proposals further.”
Naturally, none of this will go down well with archaeology’s inconsequential ‘Luddite faction,’ or with those posing as archaeologists for cosmetic reasons I suspect.
I’ll see y’all in the bar….
May 7, 2013
An archaeologist and a treasure hunter were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just finishing being shaved when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The archaeologist shouted haughtily…”I say, don’t put that cheap stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse!”
The treasure hunter turned to his barber and said…”Go ahead pal, my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
On May 1st my treasure hunting habits changed somewhat, in that I fitted a 4.5-inch ‘Super Sniper’ coil to my ATPro International, where it will remain until the end of August. Why? One too many glasses of electric soup you might think, but no, it’s all in the interests of targeting the low-hanging fruit, as managerial-speak has it. We (that’s ‘Ole Jack Dey and me) are conducting a little research on local beaches.
During the summer months on our early morning beach raids he’ll be using his ATPro with the 8×11 standard coil and I’m going to work the trash-filled, BBQ and picnic set-aside areas with the ‘Sniper’ just to discover the finds ratio and whether or not junky areas are worth the investment of a small coil. Garrett’s Steve Moore is aiding and abetting the endeavour, and he’ll be getting the results in the form a write-up for the Garrett SEARCHER magazine. Part One of this experiment has already hit the news wires.
Unofficially, just between you and me so don’t let this go any further, I actually fitted the ‘Sniper’ a couple of days before the end of April, and headed out to a known section of coastline (to me at least) that regularly throws up and does the biz with older finds following the right combinations of tide and winds.
Winkling the ‘Sniper’ through the assorted garbage, foil and pull-tabs, several copper pennies came blinking into the first daylight they’d seen in over one hundred years, ranging from ‘Young Head’ Victoria through to George V. Then up came the second of the ‘big silvers’ I’ve coaxed out from hereabouts; a near jet black solid silver (.925) 1917 Half Crown piece that eventually polished-up and sparkled like a new shilling up a chimney-sweep’s rectum. Oddly, it shared space in the scoop with a modern £1-coin! But, still no old gold…yet!
NOT QUITE THREE FOR ALL….
Three men are sitting stiffly, side by side, on a long-haul commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has levelled off, the man in the window seat turns to the other two and in an abrupt, superior, upper-class English manner, announces loudly, “Eton and Oxford. Archaeologist. Retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.”
A few minutes later, the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, and with the same superior air…“Harrow and Cambridge. Archaeologist also retired. Married, two sons, both High Court Judges.”
After some thought, the fellow in the centre seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims…“The Bronx. Treasure hunter. Multi-millionaire. Still working. Never married. Two sons… both archaeologists.”
This from Peter Tompa’s highly influential Cultural Property Observer Blog…
“Germany’s highest regulatory court has ruled that coins in trade will not be treated as archaeological objects requiring an export permit under EU law. he court said that because they are objects created in quantity, they have lost any archaeological value, and to require export permits for them would put an unreasonable restraint on trade. The decision in its entirety can be read here.
UPDATE 5/4/13: Not surprisingly, archaeo-blogger Paul Barford is in denial about the implications of Court’s ruling and has even implied the court’s decision-making was corrupted by “commercial interests.” As to the former, I think a well known numismatist said it best:
Of course Mr. Barford is in denial of the court’s actual ruling: “coins coming from Antiquity generally have no archaeological value and thus are not archaeological objects”. It doesn’t come much clearer than that. Nor is this “the Bavarian judiciary” as Mr. Barford would like to believe; it is the supreme court of Germany for cases involving customs and taxes.
As to the latter, I think Mr. Barford should compare what Transparency International says about Germany and places whose views of cultural property matters he champions, like Greece, Cyprus, Italy and China.”
Of course, Barford disagrees…surprise, surprise!
Peter Tompa’s biography is impressive:
Peter Tompa has collected ancient coins for thirty years. He has written and lectured about cultural property issues for a decade. He is a contributor to a chapter on numismatics in K. Fitz Gibbon ed., “Who Owns the Past?” (Rutgers 2005). He has lobbied members of the U.S. Congress and the Executive Branch in an effort to ensure that the small businesses of the numismatic trade receive fair treatment from federal regulators. He currently serves as a board member of the Cultural Policy Research Institute and the Ancient Coin Collectors Guild. He also has been a vice-chair of the American Bar Association’s Art & Cultural Heritage Law Committee. His advocacy has received notice in the media, including the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Art Newspaper and the Voice of America. He hopes his views as a collector and lawyer will provide a counterpoint to the “archaeology over all” perspective found in most blogs about cultural property issues.
NO MORE WAITING!
“Well?” snarled an unpopular Finds Liaison Officer to a bewildered detectorist waiting in line at a Treasure Rally to have his finds identified…”I suppose you can’t wait for the likes of me to die, eh, just so you can come and piss on my grave.”
“Certainly not,” the detectorist replied. “Once I get out of here, I’m never going to stand in a line again!”
Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master….
I‘ll see y’all in the bar….
April 25, 2013
HOW TIME FLIES, AND STILL NO SIGN OF SINGLE MALT, MONEY, OR BEER, OR BOOK!
(My 100th Contribution to this cheap SOB!)
Dick Stout’s got more front than Atlantic City. I’ve known him since the time the Dead Sea first went sick, and for years now, I have worked, nay slaved, to supply him with suitable, eloquent copy for his blog, and what do I get in return? Henry Hall’s brother….F**k Hall! Not even a sniff of single malt, let alone a beer. Jeez! I mean, I’ve seen Halle’s Comet more times than I’ve seen the inside of his wallet. I remember one time in a bar in AC, Cliff Stefens stood a round, I stood a round, and Ricardo, well he just stood around!
I did some research on him recently and discovered the name ‘Stout’ originates from the Anglo-Saxon, dating from the 9th Century meaning, generous, likeable, lavish with ale, and loyal to friends. ‘Dick’ (or Richard, or Ricardo) comes from the Norman patois of 11th Century Gaul (modern day France) and was brought to England with William the Conqueror in 1066AD, and roughly translated means…Not Very.
I really can’t fathom how the fragrant Fay puts up with him. I recall when I visited the States some years ago and fell into his clutches when he gave me the now-famous tour of New York with its three Empire State Buildings, two Brooklyn Bridges and three Central Parks, he leaned out of the car and asked a New York Cab Driver…”Hey, do you know the Noo Josiey toyn-off?”
“Sure” the Cabbie shrugged, “I married her!” Oh, I thought, this is gonna be some kinda trip.
Some days later at a drinks party in a Condo in AC I bumped into Cliff Stefens, bumped into Harry Bodofski, stepped over Dick Stout, bumped into Archie Ray…I mean the guy’s on another planet…he even thinks Manual Labor is an illegal Mexican gardener….and a Royal Enfield is where the Queen keeps her chickens! Sheesh!
A couple of years later he stepped foot on this Sceptered Isle (or should that be Septic?). All I can say is, thank Jesus they got Independence. I take him to the Mayfly, arguably the finest hostelry in these Islands where the finest ales are purveyed and spend hours not to mention loadsacash, trying to wean him off that vile American habit of drinking ice-cold gnat’s piss and onto real ale. It cost me a small fortune, and it was only then I realised this guy wasn’t as cabbage as he looked. I poured him into my car for the journey home. Fay, as ever, was perfection; cool, calm, sophisticated and elegant. Opposites attract!Stouty though is an enigma. For all his faults (his love of cold beer, so-so wine, just to name a few), he has been my great friend for over twenty-five years. If this hobby had ten more like him, with his drive and zeal, metal detecting would be compulsory across the globe. He’s a bloody good editor too, and a great calming influence on me, knowing my ‘love’ for the reptiles who’d put us out of business at the drop of hat.
All success to Stout Standards for the future, and long may he and it continue to shred the propaganda spewing forth from, unfortunately, the UK and Poland.
We’ve had some successes along the way but the drubbing of the Artefact Erosion Counter must surely rank as one of his high points. Stout Standards under Dick’s careful eye has been a rallying point for many worthy causes and we all owe him a huge debt of gratitude. Well done mate!
Now can I have that bloody $20 you owe me?
An amateur built the ark, but a professional built the Titanic…..
April 24, 2013
ARKIE-WATCH BRINGS RESULTS
For years I have been saying arkies are bigger despoilers of the heritage that any other faction, and far worse, their specialised vandalism is greater than even the most dedicated of thieving nighthawks could ever do…and now, I have the proof.
Remarkably, the suppliers of this devastating information is no less than my old sparring partners, Heritage Action, the UK group of archaeological holier-than-thou extremists, who are at pains to lay all the heritage ills at metal detecting’s door. This is the same bunch who detest the awesome success of the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS).
To find this information, simply type ‘Heritage Action’ into your search engine and scroll down to ‘Caerau Hillfort: Part 8 – So, it seems Time Team are coming.’
There in all its glory you’ll see the mechanical digger ripping the guts out of the layers and dumping the spoil alongside the trench with all stratification evidence in ruins. These are the same layers in which we as treasure hunters find coins from the 1500’s upwards to modern times, and report to our local Finds Liaisons Officers, but these vandals have no respect or thought for ‘modern’ casual losses, dumping them like so much rubbish, and their contexts, in rough trenchside heaps. Read and inwardly digest. Never again take any shit from an arkie!
Now you know why I demand arkies, especially amateurs, or those being handsomely paid to produce television dross, being severely controlled. What you see on the Heritage Action blog is vandalism in action. Remember it, and refer to it, when next harangued by these heritage yobbos. Time Team? More like slime team.
How can this be in the public interest? Well it’s not, as anyone with a modicum of common sense can see, but I suspect of the boys at Heritage Action don’t care either way, and I further suspect many have huge erections at the mere sight of that digger smashing its way through OUR layers!
April 16, 2013
PORKIES, DAMNED PORKIES, AND STATISTICS a là HERITAGE ACTION
Many of you reading this, chiefly those on UK side of The Pond, are either thieving artefacts, mistreating them, or not reporting them in the way the gobby lobby at Heritage Action wants you to deal with them. It’s a bit like the UK’s Test and County Cricket Board laying down the law as to how Baseball should be played in the States! Utter bollocks!
What follows is pure Joseph Goebbels; look away now if you’re of a nervous disposition or easily roused to anger:
“99.5% of finds are NOT Treasure items and the majority of them don’t get reported to PAS….when 99% of detectorists treat 99% of finds responsibly the bashing will miraculously stop.” (posted on Heritage Action’s blog 8/01/2013).
On the face of it, to the casual observer these are disturbing figures, something the promoters of this nonsense heavily rely on. However, once under the microscope, a vastly different picture emerges. Accuracy and Heritage Action go together like oil and water and they’ve got form in this respect too….remember AEC, Ho! Ho! It’s only then do you begin to delve deeper into what they are trying to pass off as kosher data do you realise the acreage of the Kingdom of Inaccuracy over which these chumps preside.
For example, they would have the world believe that 247,500 detectorists, that’s 99% of them, have failed to report 841,000 artefacts (that’s 99% of ‘finds’) to the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS). Currently, official PAS figures show that 858,000 artefacts found by detectorists are currently logged on their database and its’ only when you put Heritage Action’s ‘figures’ under the microscope that you begin to realise the scale of the propagandist nonsense for which they are now famous and have made their own.
The only reason for pushing this dross especially considering their sniffy we-are-archaeologists-so-we’re-more-accurate-than-thou attitude must surely have its roots in blind prejudice, disinformation, and elitism; but it’s no excuse at all. What makes it all worse still, is that some of dross pushers are PhD’s and say nothing.
Be under no illusion; though they are often seen as being a bit on the freaky or spooky side, these people are your enemy, belonging to that anarchic wing of archaeology campaigning to have you outlawed, or, brought under their direct control.
More to the point, as they are willing to publish inaccuracies of this scale posing as facts, what reliability, you may justifiably ask, can be put on any of Heritage Action’s other work, stats or data?
I suggest…NONE! We’re on their case!
THE LAST POST
Paul Barford’s latest stunt at UCS makes the Charge of the Light Brigade look like a model of military strategy and a gallant success. To be fair though, elevating Barford to the same plane as the ‘Gallant 600’ is I have to admit, taking even my level of piss-taking a bit far! Nonetheless, I’m sure even he will admit that his crusading zeal at the University Campus Ipswich, was an even greater unalloyed shambles.
Even taking into consideration the dearth of interest he commands, only twenty, yes, only twenty, out of the UK’s population of 60-million, summoned-up enough interest to turn up to hear this self-proclaimed itinerant arkie/translator spew forth his venom against the magnificent contributions metal detectorists are making in the knowledge of our common heritage.
I’m afraid to say that Paul Barford has run his course…he’s a busted flush…devoid of facts – like his now discredited Artefact Erosion Counter.
I doubt even the CBA will reach into the cess-pit to pull him free. Let’s leave him where he belongs and get on with treasure hunting. I’m wondering whether he has a profitable future as a children’s entertainer, or, perhaps even, a clown?
Look out…he’s behind you!
THE EVENTS IN BOSTON….
I am saddened by the tragic events in Boston, and my thoughts and prayers are with all those affected……
You may reproduce anything from the Malamute Saloon, PROVIDED you acknowledge the source
April 12, 2013
THE THINGS THEY SAY….
This from the Council for British Archaeology’s website with regard to training….
“The Training Online Resource Centre (TORC) is an information service for anyone interested in courses and training in archaeology, from GCSE and A- Level courses through to specialised training for professional archaeologists.” Ah, I see, accuracy in archaeology is everything. Right? Well…umm….not quite…
This in a letter to me from the CBA’s Director, Dr Mike Heyworth…
“The HA Artefact Erosion Counter is based on a series of assumptions, many of which are untestable which is partly why it is regarded with scepticism and even hostility by some vested interests….” Mike continues…
“The accuracy of the Counter is not really the issue though, as the key question is whether it provides a reasonable basis from which to consider the scale of the loss of knowledge caused by metal detecting when finds are not reported to the Portable Antiquities Scheme (in England and Wales). I think it serves its purpose in this regard, though inevitably the methodology behind the Counter is open to debate.”
Precisely how this hangs with the CBA’s TORC programme eludes me. One sincerely hopes that techniques that are ‘open to debate’ along with ‘untestable assumptions’ will not be employed on excavations funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund. Then again, for many years now, archaeo-sceptics have suspected archaeology was based on guesswork…and now, it seems, with uneducated guesses!
“Is Suffolk’s’ buried and unexplored heritage being pilfered unsustainably”
Search me. I don’t know, neither does anyone else I suspect, but our old pal Paul Barford makes a piss poor case for it according to the still-born paper he presented to his own (surprise, surprise) seminar at the UCS on the 10th April.
However with his discredited Artefact Erosion Counter as a measure of his archaeological ken, you might be forgiven for imagining he doesn’t know