Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…

It’s throwback Thursday and given all the excitement and speculation about a new detector I’m sharing two old posts that I think might be appropriate. Happy hunting, have one for me….


And You Won’t Get Warts (May 2019)

Just Wondering…

…how’s your piffwanger?  Do you have the latest model? The one that just came on the market?  The ‘new and improved’ model that replaces the one you have now? The one that costs a hundred bucks more and makes your piffwanger obsolete? I mean damn, who wants an old piffwanger?

Does the new product’s promotional ad or YouTube vid get your juices flowing? Are you thinking about maybe dipping into the rent money or maxing out the ole credit card so you can get that Piffwanger Pro everybody’s talking ’bout? Well welcome to marketing 101.

Look, no matter the category, the product or the business, it’s important that manufacturers come out with new piffwangers as quickly as possible because they, their distributors and their dealers don’t want you to be satisfied with your current piffwanger. Yup, they want your money again and in order to get it they created buzz words like new and improved, enhanced, leading edge, state of the art and of course the ole suffixes like Max, Pro, Master and Roman numerals like II, III, IV for the brain-dead.

Years ago you could work your way through the numbers until you became a professional…..

And what constitutes new and improved? Is it something that really sets it apart from the piffwanger you have now or is it just a different color, different shape or does it now come with a rubber grip, new label or longer warranty? Will the new piffwanger perform some new function or is it advertised to just perform better (as in go deeper)?

And of course the ultimate marketing ploy….get someone famous to use it. I mean if Mike Trout hits home runs with that piffwanger it must be pretty damn good, or if Steph Curry can shoot all those three’s wearing those red and white piffwangers they must be why. Of course we all know, down deep, that Mike Trout could hit all those home runs with a broomstick and Steph Curry could hit three’s all night wearing sandals.

Prospector Gary Earl is trying to keep with all the latest piffwanger accessories though I will give him this….no camo or snake boots. Thanks Gary….

If you’ve followed this blog you know I recently put up a few Q & A posts with well-known detectorists. The final question I asked each was “If you could pass along one or two words of advice to other detectorists, what would they be?” Here are their answers….

Allyson Cohen (Detecting Diva) “Stick to one machine. It’s kind of hard to learn a machine if you’re always switching them up. Do you see successful detectorists showing up at every hunt with a new machine? “

Todd Hiltz “Best advice I can give is for people to stick to one machine. Learn that machine like the back of your hand. Sleep with it, shower with it, do whatever you want with it but listen to everything it tells you and you will be very successful with it. You don’t need 5 different machines!”

Bob Sickler“Looking backward, I would have been better off staying with one detector and upgrading only when it became an advantage. Today I am the wiser and happier…”

Bob Buttafuso “Number one is to learn your unit. As I have always stated, the machine is only as good as the user using it…. “

Dominique Da Silva Ivy “Location is very important. Good finds are tied to where you are and what you are looking for. Research your area and touch base with seasoned people who detect in your state. And, most importantly, learn your machine! I don’t care if your machine cost you 200 dollars or two grand – learn it and learn it well. Once you speak its language, it will tell you where the finds are….”

My point with all this, and yes I’ve talked about it numerous times, is that you should be spending your time and money finding a great place to hunt and not getting caught up in the hype. So get out there, have fun and play with your pifffwanger. You’ll find neat stuff and trust me you won’t get warts or go blind….


Savvy Shopping (June 2019)

Shopping has long been thought to be a female thing but that’s not really true. Men shop too. The difference of course is in what they shop for. Women like to shop for clothes and jewelry. Men? Things like golf clubs, fishing gear, tools, grills and oh yeah…. metal detectors.

For whatever reason we can’t wait to part with our money and drool over every new detector that comes on the market, believing it’s the machine that will finally put us on easy street. After all it’s guaranteed to go down three inches more than the one we have now and it has that locked on, never in doubt, right on the money, you bet your ass target ID! And get this….it weighs one ounce, fits in your hip pocket, can be upgraded via download, comes with a camouflage field team cap and you can put more than 25 different searchcoils on it.  I mean damn, what’s not to like?

You can’t stop thinking about it…

…and you bite. You somehow find the money and you buy. You are happy as a pig in sh*t. You tell everybody at work, on Facebook, Twitter and you get antsy waiting for it to arrive. When it finally comes you just have to take a photo of the box, and if the rest of tekkiedom is lucky you make a video of the unpacking and share it on YouTube. You show it to your friends, you take it to the club meeting, you fiddle with it in the john and you sleep with it.

Then reality sets in…

….and you actually attempt to use it. You try to figure out what all those pads and labels mean and you try to get past page five of the 500 page manual (that’s where the assembly and battery insertion stops). You figure what the hell, I’ll go with the presets and take it to that park I’ve pounded the hell out of. You know, the one you’ve hunted 500 times in the last two years.

You get there and you go ever so slow because you’re not comfortable with the new detector and because you just know this puppy is going to sniff out those rare and very valuable Barbers, Liberty Seated, and Bust coins. You dig every signal because you’re not sure how your new detector responds, what it’s audio responses sound like. Then BAM… you find an oldie, a nice one and you’re convinced you made the right choice. Greatest detector ever, best damn investment you’ve ever made and you’re quitting your job in the morning!

Okay, I’m done bustin’ chops….

There’s some truth in the ole “where there’s smoke there’s fire” so taking that new toy to a known old coin producing site makes some sense, but understand that old coin you just found was more the result of you having slowed down and having listened than it is the new detector. After all you knew diddly squat about it when you arrived there and you were using presets so don’t go off the deep end.

Is It the Detector or is it YOU?

The moral of this story?

…“IF” you kept going slow, listened intently AND really learned that new toy you just spent an arm and a leg on you ought to kick everybody’s ass when it comes to finding more. Add in some good ole fashioned research and you could be on top of the world.

On the other hand….

….you could just keep your old machine and do the same thing – slow down, listen carefully, research and give that money that you would have spent to the wife. She will love you for it, she will go out and spend it and while she’s doing that you’re out detecting!  Never forget….if mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy!




Filed under Metal Detecting

17 responses to “Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…

  1. Surely the quadrillion (simultaneous ) frequency, satellite controlled, Piffwanger Pro Plus, in cammo livery, at a tad under $3-Grand is the way forward? Everyone knows that eye-wateringly expensive machines find more goodies. They’ll even find what ain’t there. C’mmon Dick, where have you been of late? Piffwangers even eliminate the need for outdated research, which is soooo yesterday.

  2. Dick, what is your current piffwanger?

    I’ve been out of the loop for a few years now, but I’m considering a comeback. My thought is the Nokta Simplex as best bang for the dollar?

  3. LR

    My whites piffwanger IV still works well after 18yrs.

  4. john taylor

    as long as there are zero complaints and it works well,
    difficult to trade in anyway! ..just sayin’

    j ( 5th or bust) t

  5. Tony

    Dick, love the throwback words of wisdom. You are certainly ahead of the pack! We think about the new machine, read about it online and answer friends questions – all before we actually get it and – get this —-Use it for several months! Too funny but very true!

    • Not sure I’m ahead of the pack. Just not of the “gotta have it” mentality. Also the $1500 or $2000 price tag would take a long time to recoup, one hole at a time. JMO and yeah I’m old.

  6. Tony

    Dick, yeah one hole at a time is a tedious recovery time period for the bucks! Maybe if I were a nugget hunter in Australia, it might pay back more quickly.

  7. Ed B.

    I recently went into a local metal detecting shop and asked the guy behind the counter for the latest and greatest PiffWanger he had in stock and he kicked me out of the store because he said he didn’t want anyone using profanity in his shop.

  8. Etex

    Can you special order a camp edition?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.