Ho, Ho, Ho…

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that you will all enjoy it in a festive and safe fashion. 2021 was an improvement over 2020 but we’re back to rising numbers and a new variant.

For me it’s been an uneven 12 months with the second half being the worst. What started as a routine examination led to coronary artery disease and a January 11th date for triple bypass surgery, but as they say, “it is what it is”….

As has been the case in the past I will review 2021 in the coming days and compare it to the predictions I made last year. If you’ve forgotten them here they are again….

 2021 – Coming Attractions

John Winter’s recent tongue in cheek post titled “Listicles” had me chuckling but I don’t want him to think he’s the only tekkie clairvoyant.  Here’s what I see for the year 2021.

January 2021

Covid-19 is still around, with deaths in the US topping 300,000, 800,000 worldwide. Despite this people still party because after all it won’t affect them.

With high unemployment more and more people take up detecting hoping to strike it rich while die hard tekkies sell their finds in order to pay bills.

Jocelyn Elizabeth’s new YouTube channel “Crazy Couch Lady” garners 500,00 followers within 24 hours.

February 2021 

Garrett Electronics continues to dominate the accessory market adding camo wallpaper for the home, a plastic box to keep your finds box in and a three piece polyester camo suit with Garrett logo for Sundays.

After year long quarantine and lack of personal interaction, treasure hunting clubs flourish with members begging to be officers.

Nugget Noggin finally finds a nugget!

March 2021

After 30 years John Howland finally gets “real” angry at Paul Barford and Nigel Swift.

Fisher and Teknetics scramble to come up with a detector that has an X in it’s name.

Dick Stout announces the start of a new YouTube series titled “Unboxing”. Like the ever popular and never ending videos of detectorists opening their new detectors Dick will film the unboxing of every purchase he makes be it a detector, TV, refrigerator, package of jockey shorts or box of cereal.

April 2021

YouTube puts a freeze on all further metal detecting videos saying “enough already”.

New treasure hunting reality series debuts featuring a cast of five female detectorists with guess appearances by the Mountain Men, Swamp People and Billy the Exterminator.

The Hoover Boys finally add vacuum cleaners to their Amazon items for sale.

May 2021

Ron Guinazzo and wife Gretchen move to UK and start promoting week long detecting trips to Chicago.

Paul Barford creates another fictitious commenter after a real person named Brian Mattick gets pissed off.

June 2021

Dick Stout and John Winter celebrate another birthday with a glass or two of vino and no one gives a rat’s ass.

Gary Smith finds hoard number 10 just outside Windsor castle.

KG & Ringy decide they need to add a little humor to their metal detecting.

July 2021 

Only five people show up for Detectival after event organizers announce this years event would not have a hospitality tent.

Minelab debuts its newest detector, the Equinox 1000 by shooting it out of a cannon. It won’t be ready till early 2022, but pre-orders top the 10,000 mark with tekkies proclaiming “if it’s a Nox I’m buying it, dammit.”

Bounty Hunter announces their first Dollar Tree metal detector.

August 2021

John Howland can’t take it any more and flies to Warsaw, intent on punching out Paul Barford’s lights but upon arrival can’t find his way out of the airport bar.

Meanwhile in the UK Nigel Swift gets beaten about the head with a fourteen inch searchcoil after his fake beard falls off in metal detector shop.

The Curse of Oak Island TV series shares the award for best all time reality show with “My 600 lb. Life” and “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”.

September 2021

Nokta/Makro comes out with yet another low end detector that is waterproof, shatterproof, wireless, stemless and weighs  3 oz.. Price is $19.95, $20.95 with Wifi.

J.T. finally figures out what capital letters are and stops the “just sayin” BS.

Nigel Swift and Paul Barford tie the knot, live miserably ever after and no one gives a rat’s ass.

October 2021

XP comes out with Deus attachment for the Roomba.

Jocelyn Elizabeth gets fed up, cashes out and buys YouTube.

Forest Fenn buries another treasure worth close to a million dollars.  His only clue – “I can’t remember where I put the damn thing”.

November 2021

Garrett Electronics introduces the AT-BDD (Best Damn Detector) model. Same hardware as the previous AT’s but with 24 push pads for the tech savvy, know it all’s.

The metal detecting YouTube channel “Nothing but Crap” is big winner in the “Tell it Like it Is” Video Awards show

Dick Stout comes up with yet another ailment, hampering even more his ability to detect, write and drink and no one gives a rat’s ass (except for Dick…Dick gives a rat’s ass).

December 2021 

To counter the phony AEC (Artifact Erosion Counter) Detectorists create NOGARA (No One Gives a Rat’s Ass).

Two of the most popular metal detecting forums add “Fake Finds” and “I Know More Than You” categories.

Covid-19 is still around, with deaths in the US topping 400,000, 1 million worldwide and people finally stop partying because it has indeed affected them!!! 


And please, aside from the covid-19 comments this post is tongue-in-cheek. 


Happy Holidays to You and Yours and this time around please have at least two for me! 



Filed under Metal Detecting

24 responses to “Ho, Ho, Ho…

  1. John Devereux

    Dick don’t worry about the new variant. Symptoms just like the common cold. Lot of it about but it’s far less likely to develop into something serious. I know this from experience. 🤐🤐
    Enjoy your Christmas and keep well for your operation.
    All the best from a wet and distinctly miserable Eastbourne.
    Best, John

    • Hope you’re right about the variant I don’t want anything to cause my surgery to be postponed. Have a great Christmas John.

      From a very warm Texas

  2. Tony

    Dick, NOGARA – good one, thanks for the laughs.
    But WEGARA back to you because We give a Rats ass for your Blog! Stay positive on your upcoming new parts.
    Merry Christmas to you Fay and family

  3. Paul Sooutherland

    Merry Christmas Dick. Stay safe and I hope you have no health issues this year.

  4. ‘ve been told that one of the side-effects of the new Covid variant is an uncontrollable desire to send out $20 bills. Don’t fight it!!!
    We’re all rooting for ya old pal!
    Bestest wishes to Fay.

  5. Randy Dee

    Hello Dick, Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year from this side of the pond and keep looking onto the positive side.

  6. Ed B.

    Another gem of an article Dick……Each month was full of humor and I chuckled through all of them.
    Just one question though. When you do the YouTube unboxing video of your new pair of boxer shorts, will you be changing into the new ones right before our eyes, or will that all be left up to the imagination?

  7. john taylor

    jeez! dick! it looks like ya gut “one in the oven” on that santa in the snow shot! anyway!..may god keep you in the palm of his ever lovin’ hand! god bless you and your family at xmas and in the new year!

    j-3 stabs,waitin’ on 4) t.

    • Thanks JT. Truth be told I’ve lost quite a bit of weight because I can’t eat the good things I’m so used to.

      Merry Christmas to you and yours../

  8. Roy Rutledge

    Merry Christmas Mr Stout. Hope this year is a lot better for all of us.


    Best of luck with the surgery could very explain your tiredness. I am 56 and have 6 stents first one age 35,crappy genes and no Mediterranean diet growing up in Manville n.j.lol.Last 5 years been taking finally my cholesterol meds and blood thinner and everything knock on wood is ok.A Merry Christmas and Happy New year to you Dick and your family and God Bless.

    • Sounds like you know the score. Manville comment cracked me up….

      Thanks for the well wishes and I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas as well.

  10. wintersen

    Old people like you (and me] can act like rebels, Dick. I also don’t give a damn or give a rats’s arse as to what anyone thinks. All wrinkleys of 80 year’s and above will be leaving soon anyway, Just sayin’ … You know what I mean!

    I wish you and Fay a merry Christmas and a healthier New Year. Best wishes to you all.

    • Wrinkley? I’m a wrinkley? Hmmm…I need to think about that one.

      Thanks for the holiday wishes John. A very merry Christmas to and Linda as well. The New Year just has to be better for both of us.

  11. Merry Christmas good sir! I hope that you have a good one and that you can get out and find a pull tab or two! 😁👍

  12. Sorry to hear about your heart trouble Dick. I am however, very happy to see you are still at it. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Can’t wait to see what 2022 will bring.

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