Rainy Relapse…

Okay, we’ve had a week of rain and more rain and I’m busy building an Ark 600 from Ikea . Can’t afford the 800 model even though it comes with waterproof nails. Just don’t have the shekels. Anyway it’s Throwback Thursday. Here’s an old idea I had back in January of 2018 . Still think it has merit.

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Prime Time Treasure Hunting

Sitting here after a couple of glasses of cheap inexpensive red wine and suddenly had a brainstorm. No not a brainfart. Brainfarts are real.  This is a brainstorm.  An idea I think has merit, but I need your feedback.

Monday Night Detecting!

I’m a big sports fan, especially when it comes to football and baseball. Yup, a NY Giants and Yankees fan! Right now I’m waiting impatiently for Sunday’s playoffs but until then I’m bummed watching college basketball (only the Final Four tournament matters) and the NBA, where all the regular season games are meaningless because everyone makes the playoffs, and yes I know there’s soccer but it’s taking me a while to warm up to it. (forgive me all you “football” fans across the pond). 

Anyway l got thinking and instead of Monday Night Football why not “Monday Night Metal Detecting”? I mean come on! I can see the promos now….“The Battle on the Beach” “The Dig to the Death” and “Backpacks & Butt Cracks”. I see each manufacturer with a team and names like the “Garrett Groundhogs”, the “Fisher Ferrets”, the “Deus Diggers” and the “Minelab Moles” just to name a few.

Each team would have five detectorists and every week two teams would do battle in an hour long prime time event. One week they would have 30 minutes to detect a football sized field for relics and the next week a large beach area for gold. The locales would change and include all facets of detecting, i.e. relic & beach, coin and prospecting.

After the first 30 minutes the winning team is announced and then the top two tekkies from each team get to go at it for another fifteen minutes to determine the winning detectorist. And of course throughout the show there would be the ole “Wow, look what he just dug up” or “the winning team is” followed by a  commercial. You know, à la Storage Wars and Bigfoot.

The last fifteen minutes would allow the winners to promote the manufacturer’s product line and spout off (like on social media) about why “their” detector is the best and why “they” can out hunt anyone. The winning team each week would receive $5,000, the losers $1,000. The individual winner would get $2,000 and a free four-week course “How to Knock on Doors and Not Scare the Hell Out the People Who Live There”.

The team with the most points at the end of the season gets $50,000 in cash, a trophy, a top of the line GoPro and individually tailored camo suits and ties. The two runner-up teams get to beat each other over the head with their 55 inch imported searchcoils.

The top tekkie for the year gets $20,000, a photo on the every manufacturer’s calendar for five years and a role in the Oak Island TV series for the next 10 years (or longer depending on how many viewers still buy into the scam).

Individual team members can be traded, sold or fired depending upon their scores, failure to promote the company product line, bad English, cursing and excessive butt crack. That would give some glimmer of hope to all those tekkies who have been lusting and busting their ass to become “official field team members”.

What do you think? Is this a great idea or what? I can’t believe it hasn’t already happened. Advertisers like the US Army, Tru-Green, Caterpillar, Coppertone, Mountain Dew, Jockey Shorts and the Society for American Archaeology are naturals.

I’m telling you if this idea winds up in the WTF bin I’m going to be really disheartened….

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16 Comments

Filed under Metal Detecting

16 responses to “Rainy Relapse…

  1. Yo Ricardo:
    Great Idea! Would there be different competitors’ classes? Say Under 30’s? Over 50’s? Over the Hill? Would there be women’s classes? Mixed Doubles? (Me and Diggin’ Britt for example). This could be the new reality/sports show. Of course competitors would have to be tested for illegal and/or performance enhancing substances…alcohol?

    • Think the various classes would naturally roll out once the show caught on. Like the idea of gal tekkies too, especially on the beach. In fact that might be the way to go initially?

      As for you and Diggin’ Britt? You’d make a great duo but if they did testing for substances you would be out. Just sayin…

      • John Taylor

        diggin’ brit has “outstanding” diggin’ technique.an “inspiration” to us all!..I’m just sayin’

        (h.h.!)
        j.t.

  2. John Devereux

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  3. I’d lose out of spite.. or just because. Lol!

  4. Ed B.

    Let’s not forget commercials every two minutes and three or maybe even four “announcers” all shouting at once to try to outdo each other. The TV screen would have to be just about totally obliterated with all kinds of info being streamed about who is in the lead at the moment, how many pulltabs he’s dug since his last outing and tons of other useless information…..and please don’t forget crowd shots of the various tekkie’s “fans” in the stands acting like drunken idiots. Guests could come into the booth and say things like “Welcome from the great state of ____________ .

    • Yeah, now you’re talking Ed. Love it. Don’t forget pulltab to treasure ratio, quickest recovery time and TADA, most followers!

  5. Backpacks & Buttcracks, I love it. It’s the idea of the century, why no one has picked up on it is a wonder. I think YOU should be the host too!

  6. John Taylor

    diggin’ brit as “master of ceremonies! well qualified! (cast your votes!)
    just sayin’

    (h.h.!)
    j.t.

  7. Woah. So I finally had a chance to read this while sitting in my hotel room in South Korea while sipping on some Tin Cup Whisky. The not so sober part of me thinks this is a great idea! But you for got Team Nokta. Would we have to bring in the whole NOMADS team in? LOL!

    Another enjoyable piece of writing. I think I’m going to pour myself another glass and consider life a little.

    Take care Sir!

    • Well the number of tekkies on each team could be determined prior to filming….five just seemed like a good number.

      Tin Cup Whiskey huh. Have not tried that…the two blends sounds nice. Enjoy Matt. Tacos on the way.

      • Mmmmm. Tacos and whisky.

        I did try something I’ve never had before here. It was a noodle dish that was iced. Barley noodles with some cucumber, a half cherry tomato, half a hard boiled egg, some other veggie that was sliced thing in a broth that tasted of melon. Pretty d@mn good.

        My friends were worried due to my American palate but I think they forgot I come here a lot. Lol!

      • A Korean Gazpacho! Honestly I love most all the noodle dishes and anything pasta. Always have a package or two of each type (linguine, fettucine, bucatini, penne, tagliatelle, pappardelle, etc.). Waiting for a pasta diet to come out….

      • After climbing all over these hills, that was pretty darn refreshing!

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