Jersey Joe’s New Venture..

Just got a business offer from Joe Grasso, and I’ m liking it a lot. Either he’s been Stout Standardized or he has finally figured it all out. Either way I’m in!

Dick, I have several new ventures I’m thinking of starting up, and might need an outside investor or two. Take a look at the following ideas and let me know if you’re interested in the opportunity…

Treasure Hunters Taping Service – Don’t sacrifice targets in the field, let us film while you hunt! No time to detect? No problem! Using our advanced green screen technology, we can intercut older footage of you against a variety of jaw-dropping backdrops. Ever wanted to detect in the U.K.? Now’s your chance! We can show you swinging ANYWHERE and finding ANYTHING! Never miss a like or thumbs up again.

Whatzit Investigative Co. – Need help i.d.’ing that piece of crap you recently found? WIC is here to help! Using an array of highly sophisticated, space-age research tools (mainly Google & Wikipedia), WIC will help you indentify ANY type of trash item big or small. Why? Because in this day and age, EVERYTHING has value, and you can’t lose your chance to shine on Facebook or Twitter.

Name Wizard Pro’s – Need assistance finding the perfect forum handle…one which isn’t already taken, and will propel you to stardom on social media? Our unique service was responsible for birthing metal detecting legends, like: The Hoover Boys, Chicago Ron, Aquachigger, and even the great Dallas Dick. For a one-time fee of only $149, we’ll also trademark your exclusive handle, so you can feature it on t-shirts, ballcaps & other useless garbage that’s guaranteed to make a fortune!

Barnum Productions – Are you a manufacturer looking to introduce a new metal detector to the world? If so, let’s face it, mermaids and parachutes are so yesterday! Imagine being shot out of a cannon over the Hoover Dam, or plummeted into shark infested waters in a steel cage. How about going over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Barnum will create the biggest splash possible for your latest detector…even if it’s the same old unit that’s painted a different color!

The Camo Whisperer – In this day and age, what you WEAR when hunting is as important as what you find. Don’t look like a newb ever again in the field! Our fashion gurus will coordinate several of the latest camo style outfits for you, based on your height, weight, BMI index, and the size of your ass-crack, to make you look like the George Hamilton of treasure hunting (spray tan not included). I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille!

_____________

PS: Joe is the man behind Treasure Classifieds  – a great site for buying and selling.  Joe, you need to write a book)…

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ALL YOU GULIBLES GET READY!

The Curse of Oak Island is starting it’s 7th season November 5th and I’ve heard this is the year they’re finally going to find the treasure. So get your popcorn out, your easy chair ready and if you can’t wait and want to know exactly when and what they’re going to find send me $20 and I’ll tell you.

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Ever thought becoming a dealer?


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23 Comments

Filed under Metal Detecting

23 responses to “Jersey Joe’s New Venture..

  1. Rick Mortimer

    This guy is missing the boat. If he really wants to get rich he would be working on developing a remote control for his detector which would allow him to send it up and down the field doing its job while he lay in his hammock with a cold beer in his hand, telling his adoring crowd about previous treasures won and lost.
    I foresee a bright future for the inventor of such a sorely needed device!

  2. John Devereux

    Excellent. Count me in too. :):):):)

  3. Ed B.

    I laughed all the way through Jersey Joe’s New Venture. Oh ! The possibilities ! As for Oak Island…….I won’t be watching because I’ll be too busy doing something more interesting….watching paint dry. And finally, I like Rick Mortimer’s idea of developing remote control for a detector but I think the technology is already a reality. One just needs to combine a detector with a “ROOMBA” and you’re there !

  4. Richard Dodd

    Unsubscribe me

    Rick Dodd ________________________________

  5. Flying A from Brooklyn

    Hay Dick
    Did you get any comments about the “Pound the Ground” event held Upstate NY last weekend ?
    I have heard from reliable, honest Detectorists, that the hunt was much less than advertised. I’m glad I decided to sit that one out based on several comments I’ve heard.

    • Avery, not much at in the way of direct feedback from detectorists, only what I read on social media. I did chat with a few people in the industry who thought it was good but needed fine tuning here and there. Pretty sure any event that large and that hyped would never satisfy everyone. Personally these “natural” hunt things are not my cup of tea, at least not with a thousand other hunters and not at that price.

  6. I’m just about ready for a rather nasty cancer-related surgical procedure here on the 24th, and if they screw it up, at least I’m gonna die laughing at Joe Grasso’s metal detecting biz ventures! That’s one of the funniest “on-the-dammed-mark” post I think I’ve ever read here. And the crux of the matter is that is exactly what the hobby has come to…sad but true. Now green-screen me back to 1982 when metal detecting folks were just everyday TH’ers, not social media posers. Good post Dick…I’m thinking of becoming an investor too!

    • Jim, we chatted earlier but let me say again that I’m sending my very best vibes for a successful procedure and speedy recovery. You got this!!

      Besides we need you as an investor …we gonna be rich!

    • john taylor

      may god bless you mr. fielding!
      may he hold you in the palm of his ever lovin’ hand!
      all the best to you sir!

  7. Tony

    Dick, I know this is your site but I couldn’t help but add my two cents – apologies for them.

    The Jersey Joe ideas really made me laugh, thanks. You forgot to mention the metal Detector in the sole of the shoe idea. That would be a kick in the pants! Richard, as my father would say – don’t let the door hit you in the behind on your way out!

    James, stay positive – it will work out for you.

    • “Richard, as my father would say – don’t let the door hit you in the behind on your way out!” Not sure what you mean with that one Tony? I do remember the old “Open the door Richard. Don’t close it on me Dick”….

      • john taylor

        open the door richard!..richard why don’t you open that door!.the late, great”pigmeat markham” said that in the 30’s.he was referring to the fact he wanted to save everybody’s souls, by telling them NOT to go into the night club do believe joe has a “marvelous” sense of humor!

        “reverend!” are you listening?.dick states $20.00 “gets you in!”..such a “deal!”
        i’m just sayin’

        (h.h.!)
        j.t.

  8. Never mind the Curse of Oak Island, have you heard of the Curse of AC? This is where $20 is lent and the lender spends years trying to get it back. That where-to-go-swinging thingy looks great…how about something similar for metal detecting?

    i’m just sayin’

    • “That where-to-go-swinging thingy looks great…how about something similar for metal detecting?”…what are you talking about? As for the $20 I sent it to Nigel about six months ago. He said he give it to you next time he saw you.

  9. njfella007

    Funny you mention a book, Dick, as I currently have one planned. Its called; “Secrets to Becoming a Millionaire Treasure Hunter.” The first secret is…WRITE A BOOK.

    As for Oak Island, like a said a gazillion times, nothing will ever be found, as that would end the show, and the gravy train that goes with it. Even IF there was anything there to be found in the first place. Much like a man standing on the ledge of a tall building, it’s the suspense, what-if & drama that keep people looking. If he jumps and hits the ground, show’s over…nothing more to see.

    Here’s a good one…I’m up in the Poconos now and saw a fella detecting this morning on a small farm. Pulled the car over and made small talk with him. Was using an “old” Whites blue & grey. Showed me a couple of large cents, a crotal bell, a seated dime and a bunch of other stuff he found in about 2 hours. Just goes to prove, location, location, location!

    Mr. Fielding, I’m keeping you in my prayers and you need to get through with that surgery, pronto. There are still many adventures to be had & stories to tell. Us detectorists are a tough breed, so I know what you’re made of, and fully expect you to kick butt with anything that comes your way. Be well, sir.

    • Sounds like the Poconos might see some action…

      As for Oak Island – if anything of value were ever found it would be instant news and not something that’s going to show up in the “tada” final episode of a TV series. Then again there are those who love to be taken for a ride.

      Jim Fielding has already been through hell and back and he will win this round as well. He’s a tough cookie and my hero….

      • Of course it’s gonna be found. Do you really believe a TV company would lie for the sake of viewer numbers? Surely not!

        i’m just sayin’

        Jim Fielding will come through…he’s a tough old bastard. God Bless him!

    • john taylor

      it got “swept” out to sea!..all that water flooding the ”abyss”
      drowned it! ..just sayin’

      (h.h.!)
      j.t.

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