I’m a Cyberspace Cynic!

I haven’t been out detecting, haven’t taken any photos, made any videos nor have I any product line to hustle. It’s also hot as hell out….

As result the following is an excerpt from a July 2016 post.  Cheers!

I’VE DISCOVERED THAT TEKKIES GO ONLINE….

  • To say “Hello from Missouri”…
  • To view videos, any videos of someone else digging big holes and breathing heavily…
  • Hoping to find some mention of a brand new coil to add their collection of ten…
  • To see the same photos of finds from their favorite tekkies on fifteen different sites and FB pages…
  • To read anything at all from their idols on Facebook so that they can respond casually and pretend to be best pals…
  • To bitch about the big holes someone left and that they had to fill in…
  • To look for any new detecting gear or accessories that might have come out because if it hangs from their waist it’s cool …
  • To find pictures of tekkies with detectors, wearing camo, and looking like Rambo (in a tot lot)…
  • To find posts or comments from gal detectorists so they can hit on them…
  • To see what brand of detector that tekkie uses to find all that treasure, because they “need” to buy one…
  • To log onto that forum where they know everything about anything (and everyone believes them)…
  • To post photos of their finds in their “dirty hands” because if you take them at home no one will believe you…
  • To premiere their latest “I’m looking for a TV show” video
  • To show the manufacturer of their detector that they love their products, sleep with them and would be a really great field tester…
  • To write Dick Stout and tell him his blog sucks…
  • To see what others are finding and to casually respond with “I have a box of those”…
  • To diss any brand of detector they don’t use…
  • Hoping someone will tell them that very expensive, crappy detector they just bought really will find something other than pull tabs…
  • Hoping to find a detecting partner, preferably a gal…
  • To find out who the hell Warsaw Wally and Heritage Harry are…
  • To be the “go to guy”, the “expert” (on fifty different forums)…
  • To start “another” Facebook metal detecting page that will die in short order because there are so damn many now…
  • To get help identifying that metal piece of crap they’re sure came from a civil war battle, despite the fact they live in Oregon…
  • To debate which batteries are the best for metal detecting…
  • To share a video of their new detector as it comes out of the box…
  • To post their latest photo of their detector leaning on a shovel…
  • To complain about getting kicked out of the local park…
  • Hoping Dick Stout will shut the hell up with this aches, pains, wine and start talking metal detecting…

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9 Comments

Filed under Metal Detecting

9 responses to “I’m a Cyberspace Cynic!

  1. Dominique

    You forgot to add that I can get you 10% off any White’s detector AND free shipping! Just message me for the code 😜.

  2. DonM

    This comment has absolutely nothing to do with detecting (so need to add it to the comments section) but since you are wine drinker, I thought you enjoy this if you have not seen it already………….

    Walmart announced that sometime in 3rd Q 2018 it will begin offering customers a new discount item; Walmart’s own brand of wine.

    The world’s largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price in the $2 to $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Walmart brand into their shopping carts, but ‘There is a market for inexpensive wine,’ said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville, ‘However, branding will be very important.’

    Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brands and varieties. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

    10. Chateau Traileur Parc
    9. White Trashfindel
    8. Big Red Gulp
    7. World Championship Riesling
    6. NASCARbernet
    5. Chef Boyardeaux
    4. Peanut Noir
    3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
    2. Grape Expectations
    1. Nasti Spumante

    The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

    PS. Don’t bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.

    • Wow, thanks Don. I’m a true blue Walmart guy and this is exciting. Just hope they go with the $2 pricing so I can get a couple of bottles each week.

  3. Yo Ricardo:

    Some Tekkies go online to get back $20…

    Happy daze!

  4. Ed B.

    Cyberspace Cynic and Walmart wine are totally hilarious. Give us more !

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