Prime Time Treasure Hunting?

Sitting here after a couple of glasses of cheap inexpensive red wine and suddenly had a brainstorm. No not a brainfart. Brainfarts are real.  This is a brainstorm.  An idea I think has merit, but I need your feedback.

Monday Night Detecting!

I’m a big sports fan, especially when it comes to football and baseball. Yup, a NY Giants and Yankees fan! Right now I’m waiting impatiently for Sunday’s playoffs but until then I’m bummed watching college basketball (only the Final Four tournament matters) and the NBA, where all the regular season games are meaningless because everyone makes the playoffs, and yes I know there’s soccer but it’s taking me a while to warm up to it. (forgive me all you “football” fans across the pond). 

Anyway l got thinking and instead of Monday Night Football why not “Monday Night Metal Detecting”? I mean come on! I can see the promos now….“The Battle on the Beach” “The Dig to the Death” and “Backpacks & Butt Cracks”. I see each manufacturer with a team and names like the “Garrett Groundhogs”, the “Fisher Ferrets”, the “Deus Diggers” and the “Minelab Moles” just to name a few.

Each team would have five detectorists and every week two teams would do battle in an hour long prime time event. One week they would have 30 minutes to detect a football sized field for relics and the next week a large beach area for gold. The locales would change and include all facets of detecting, i.e. relic & beach, coin and prospecting.

After the first 30 minutes the winning team is announced and then the top two tekkies from each team get to go at it for another fifteen minutes to determine the winning detectorist. And of course throughout the show there would be the ole “Wow, look what he just dug up” or “the winning team is” followed by a  commercial. You know, à la Storage Wars and Bigfoot.

The last fifteen minutes would allow the winners to promote the manufacturer’s product line and spout off (like on social media) about why “their” detector is the best and why “they” can out hunt anyone. The winning team each week would receive $5,000, the losers $1,000. The individual winner would get $2,000 and a free four-week course “How to Knock on Doors and Not Scare the Hell Out the People Who Live There”.

The team with the most points at the end of the season gets $50,000 in cash, a trophy, a top of the line GoPro and individually tailored camo suits and ties. The two runner-up teams get to beat each other over the head with their 55 inch imported searchcoils.

The top tekkie for the year gets $20,000, a photo on the every manufacturer’s calendar for five years and a role in the Oak Island TV series for the next 10 years (or longer depending on how many gullible viewers still buy into the scam).

Individual team members can be traded, sold or fired depending upon their scores, failure to promote the company product line, bad English, cursing and excessive butt crack. That would give some glimmer of hope to all those tekkies who have been lusting and busting their ass to become “official field team members”.

What do you think? Is this a great idea or what? I can’t believe it hasn’t already happened. Advertisers like the US Army, Tru-Green, Caterpillar, Coppertone, Jockey Shorts and the Society for American Archaeology are naturals.

I’m telling you if this idea winds up in the WTF bin I’m going to be really disheartened….




Filed under Metal Detecting

16 responses to “Prime Time Treasure Hunting?

  1. DonM

    OK how much wine did you drink before writing this post??..don’t give any of the state of the art tekkies any ideas…it may be coming to a you tube channel soon, I suspect.

  2. Tony

    I love that idea, I’ll send it off to the History and Discovery channel. You’ll do the script writes and re-writes. I will take a 10 percent finders fee. It will be a blast and who knows you might get to travel to different sites to have those folks shake hands before they battle and come out swinging!

  3. “…individually tailored camo suits and ties.” Yeah, love it. Not sure about lifting and swinging that 55″ coil though; unless there was a prize for the Most Perfectly Ruptured Tekkie.

  4. This piece was so funny I am still draining Starbuck’s finest (and hottest!) el grande cocoa out of my nose! I shared it on our club’s FB page so others may also discover the joys on hot cocoa thru the nasal cavity el grande Stout Standards. Three sneezes for “Prime Time Treasure Hunting?” !

  5. James Wdzenczny

    …………..And to make it a little more interesting, have booby traps!


    Excellent idea. Considering some of the reality tv rubbish that’s on this might have legs. I like the idea of booby traps too and as it’s Texas you’re in how about conducting a live fire element to really keep the guys and girls on their toes. Nothing larger than .357 though don’t want anyone getting too scared. An extra prize for those who don’t duck and run for cover at the first sound of gunfire. Throw in a few archaeologists too just to see them getting real upset about only finding ring pulls as they dig away with their trowels and brushes. This could fly. ;);)

    • Wow, I’m getting excited about this…might just be my big payday. I especially like the live fire/arkie idea. Maybe that could be on a separate field with barbed wire every twenty feet. Much like the Army’s basic training obstacle course. Thanks John…

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