Do You Think He Hates Us?

A while back I decided not to mention a certain individual nor share a link to his blog, but his latest update just blew me away. Talk about slanted, biased hatred for our pastime! Take a gander at this and tell me what you think.

Legal Artefact Hunting Does not Prevent Illegal Artefact Hunting

Kind of like saying, dieting does not deter obesity, or trade school graduates do not deter do it yourself enthusiasts.  Or how about “archaeologists with degrees” do not deter amateur archaeologists.  Such an asinine comparison.  Then again he is not called the “Polish Prick” for nothing.



Well it’s been a while since I heard from the big guy in Bournemouth, and I was worried that he was in a long-term drying out facility, or that maybe he had bought the farm. Only worried mind you because he owes me money. Lots of money. Now I can start the badgering again….

“So tight he squeaks when he walks….”

His latest offering via the Malamute Saloon….



by John Howland

Is the name of the campaign to take Britain out of the European Community in June’s UK Referendum. Anyone who enjoys metal detecting ought to support BREXIT in order to return Britain to the sovereign position of being able to make its own laws, protect its own borders, and to be governed by UK ELECTED representatives and not by UNELECTED European bureaucrats who cannot be voted out of office. So how does this affect British detectorists?

Easy! Older detectorists will remember Alan Beith MP who presided over a Stasi-like enquiry to limit the hobby of metal detecting over twenty-five years ago. Beith, a Liberal, called ‘witnesses’ from across the European archaeological spectrum to give evidence at what effectively was a ‘show trial’. Mysteriously, and perhaps unsurprisingly, no-one from the detecting community was invited put counter views. That is, until the Detector Information Group (DIG) got to hear about the ‘trial’ and rocked-up on their European doorstep demanding to be heard which really put the detecting cat amongst the archaeological pigeons. In the event, Beith and the Gang allowed DIG limited time to give evidence mainly for cosmetic purposes to ward off accusations authoritarianism and of doing a done deal. Effectively, Europe’s detectorists were ignored. The serious limitations we don’t enjoy today are direct descendants of that ‘show trial’.

Many believed back then – and still do – that Beith was the poodle of the politically motivated archaeological lobby determined to snuff out the hobby across Europe. Having seen European ‘democracy’ in action I urge all UK detectorists to vote…. OUT! Say NO! to David Cameron and his Remain in Europe Group and (‘F*** Off’) to Brussels’ dictatorial, red-tape loving Eurocrats.

Council of Europe/1981 Metal Detectors & Archaeology


Now ‘Ere’s a Funny Thing

Dining recently in a halfway decent eatery in Ipswich, East Anglia, I was privy to a curious incident at a nearby table where a boisterous but merry group of specialist dealers in antique Japanese prints and museum types, were apparently enjoying a reunion of some kind and playing host to a couple of guests of whom the older of the two was a bearded fellow in his early 80’s and a farmer by all accounts. The other, who I reckoned to be in his early 70’s, bore the smarmy sartorial style of a 1930s Brighton ‘lounge lizard.’

I couldn’t help but overhear and fell about laughing at the following exchange when the waiter asked the group’s leader for their order:-

“What will you have, Sir?”

“We’ll have the steaks,”

“How would you like them Sir”

“Medium, please.”

“What about the vegetables?”

“Oh, those two will have same as us.”



There is no act of treachery or meanness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.



For those of you enquiring about the old editions of the Treasure Hunters Express….this from the latest issue:

“A treasury of treasure reading. Much of the material is as useful today as it was when initially printed. Vintage copies of the TREASURE HUNTER’S EXPRESS/EXANIMO EXPRESS from 1982 to 1997, presented in volumes from #1 through #13 with 6 issues in each set.  There are 3 issues that are sold out but all the rest are there.  Nice, unread condition.  Reserve your sets today. $95.00 gets everything that is available which is roughly 75 issues. Shipped postpaid. Contact TH’ers EXPRESS, 335 North William Ave., Fremont, NE   68025.” 






Filed under Metal Detecting

8 responses to “Do You Think He Hates Us?

  1. Riccardo:
    The only error I can see in your excellent, awesome, piece …is that he’s not Polish.

    He only hot-footed it from the democratic West in 1986 (during the Cold War) because the ruling Communists – not known for their Human Rights record – offered him a job and help with his literary ambitions, referring unashamedly to his Communist bank-rollers in glowing terms in the opening pages of his book on the history of the Slavs.

    One wonders whether the indigenous Poles shared his generous views of the Communist State what with food shortages, martial law, the excesses of the secret police that included murder and beatings.

    Why should anyone care about what an obscure communist sympathiser writes or opines? His outpourings are the haemorrhoids on the arse of archaeology. Let’s hear no more about him, eh?

    John H

  2. Er….several glasses of something red and civilised perhaps?

  3. The study on which this nonsense is based, is, itself, badly flawed as it groups wolves and grizzly bears in the same category. The culling of wolves is a misguided activity to reduce a perceived over-population of wolves or a reduction in the numbers of what is believed (but not always correctly) to be their prey animals. Farley Mowatt determined that one such cull was really the result of too much poaching of the pre animals and the wolves main diet was mice. There is a cycle of over and under population of wolves and their prey: these cycles actually preserve both species: making them stronger and mixing different population’s genetic material. It has been going on long before there were humans around. The killing of grizzly bears is done here when problem bears that have been moved return back to their original territory peoples bad habits in bear country create problem bears. Although not included, the culling of coyotes actually increases coyote populations in that area. Left alone, coyotes respect other coyote’s territories. To then apply such a flawed study to metal -detecting is so far removed from any reality as to be laughable.

  4. John, this guy lives in a world of his own…..

  5. wendell

    Nutty dude…..He’s one artifact nobody is looking for… How much would be lost if not for paying the people who find these artifacts and making them available to the public. Should these old relics be sold as gold melt or otherwise lost to society forever.

    • Yup. Imagine if you will all the land surface out there, and then think about archaology’s ability to determine where their efforts should be concentrated. A crap shoot for sure. Let a tekkie however find something of historic significance, and we have ruined thiings, disturbed the context, don’t know what we are doing, etc.. Never, ever a comment or thank you for the find itself or it’s usefulness to their studies. Just out and out refusal to acknowledge anythng we do. Fed up with it all.

      Thanks Wendell for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

    • Hi Wendell:
      For years archaeologists wanted greater public participation. They got it in bucket loads though not in the way they expected. ‘Joe Public’ in the form of the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker – ordinary people – bought metal detectors instead, and began doing their own thing. Many of these hobbyists have become experts in various artefact types.

      In the UK the Government-funded PAS has recorded over one million artefacts and the British Museum along with the more astute members of the archaeological spectrum realised what a rich seam of information and data they could tap into.

      The UK’s PAS database is the source of many kinds of academic and historical research; the unpalatable fact for the minority of the more rancid, rabid, bucket-mouthed amateur archaeologists is that they know, that we know, they contribute significantly less to the record. I’m sure that a PAS-type database will eventually happen in the US, if not Pan-American at first, but gradually State by State. That said, the US will need some strong hobby leadership, and with three organisations jockeying for position that ain’t about to happen any time soon.

      Neither is there anything morally wrong with selling detector-found artefacts provided they have been properly recorded.

      John H

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