The Bare Necessities…

I was chatting with a very old detecting friend in the UK the other day about the current state of the pastime, and interestingly, or maybe not, we were both on the same wave length.  Everyone is too caught up in the folderol, the frills, the bullshit if you will, as well as in over promoting their mastery of this extremely complex, formidable and baffling hobby called metal detecting.

So allow me to have a little fun and share my take on it all….


If you wanted to go metal detecting in the 70’s and 80’s you needed to buy (1) a metal detector, (2) cheap headphones, (3) a carpenter’s apron and (4) a long-handled screwdriver.  Shazam! Done! Get your butt out there and start swinging.


The good ole days….easy and uncomplicated


…it’s become a bit more complicated.  You see we don’t just need a metal detector. We need an expensive metal detector! Why? Because the more they cost the more they find, and of course the more complex they are, the more expert we will look (or at least it will appear that way to others).  Also if the famous “Lucky Larry” is using a certain brand and model, its hands down THE best on the market.  Why just look at what he’s finding!!  Finally if it’s available in camouflage, all the better, because camo machines go deeper, and make us look cool and macho at the same time.

Then after we make all these thorough and well thought out decisions, we need accessories.  Maybe a cover for it in case it rains or snows, a bag or hard case to store it in, and let’s not forget coil covers.  Don’t want the bottom to get dirty or scratched. If we are lucky these too will be available in camo. That way we can lose them from time to time, and have fun pissing and moaning about it, and anyway, no big deal….we can always buy more and “put it on the card”.  It’s only money!

Next we absolutely have to have extra searchcoils. Big, small, wide, narrow and yes, even imported, because the folks in Abbadabba, Slovenia know how to make coils that are ‘perfectly tuned’ and ‘made to last’ whereas the manufacturer of our detector is stupid and doesn’t care about either of those things.  Here’s hoping too that they come out with camo coils in the not too distant future, because we all know they will go deeper.

Hold on now, we are not done yet.  We “have” to have a pinpointer.  Doesn’t matter what it cost, at long it has some orange on it (so we don’t lose it), and is waterproof to 10 feet (never know when we might fall in a lake or pool). Then of course we will need a holster for it or a holder that attaches to our detector. Yeah, that would be real cool. Next comes a digger, or shovel, perhaps both, so we can recover coins, buttons, beer cans and bombs.  Actually the shovel is very cool to have when you are knocking on doors. Homeowners just love ’em.

Finally if we are going to really look hip and macho, we need a camouflage outfit, hat and a GoPro camera. That way we can hide from the public, maybe get shot by a hunter, scare the hell out of the neighborhood, and if we are really lucky, get it all on film.  The downer of course if that we can’t spend a lot of time detecting because we will have to get home to edit the film, post it on YouTube, and share the link on the 200 detecting forums and Facebook pages.  If, however, we don’t find anything cool we an always repost the video of the gold ring we found last year. Hell, no one will remember after all this time.

Last and not least we will need camouflage snake boots. Ain’t nobody taking care of those tot lots anymore…



Filed under Metal Detecting

22 responses to “The Bare Necessities…

  1. danhughes1

    Dick, you are a hoot and I love you.

  2. thiltzy

    I never did understand the whole camo thing. It really makes me laugh anytime I see some one in camo. It’s not like a coin is going to jump out of the ground and run off because it noticed you trying to sneak up on it.

    • danhughes1

      Camo may be a bit much, but I do try to dress in dull clothes so as to draw as little attention as possible to me. And I can’t understand why any company would build detector boxes in bright yellow. Talk about a kiddie magnet!

  3. And it only makes us look like we are hiding….

    Todd, I’ve been raked over the coals for my stance on this, but I don’t care. I think dressing in camouflage only hurts our image. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Appreciate it.

  4. Gold Finger

    Thanks for the the excruciating truth of how it is today. I raise my guilty hand to owning 6 machines and probably too many coils, phones, spades etc.

    Yes, I should have known better, afteral, I used to do quite a lot of angling, starting off with one rod and reel, a small box to carry some lead shot, hooks, floats and bits and pieces. I also had a small recycled tub for worms, which was about all that was required.

    Well, over the years the box had to go into a bigger box and then those boxes were too small, so a bigger box was required to carry all the things I was told or thought I needed. In the end this box was too small and a new one just had to be bought, but this time it had some fancy wheels, so I could pull all the junk to the river bank, where I still only used those original floats.


    • “where I still only used those original floats…” Love it Terry. Great response.

      I too will plead guilty with the fishing thing. Used to fish most every morning before work when I lived back East and bought gear like it was going out of style. Moved to Texas and sold it all.

  5. Gold Finger

    Always enjoy your blog.

    Did I mention the the rods, reels, nets, brollies, bivvies, chairs etc, which have all been breeding in my garage?

    Never went for the camo gear for either sport.
    But honestly Dick, when it comes to detectors there really is a need for different detectors, depending on ground and site conditions, although it is possible to detect with just one.

  6. Understand….I currently have 5 detectors, but not for ground conditions. Just those I’ve accumulated over the years and for which I have a fancy…. MXT Pro, 6000di Series 2, Garrett Groundhog VLF/TR, Garrett Freedom III, and a White’s Liberty (my wife’s detector).

    I am a “knobs” kind of guy….

  7. Gold Finger

    Same here really.
    Two redundant, being an Arado 65 and a C-S 1220XD. These ones are still used. TWO E-tracs lol, X-T705 and a Deus.

    All the best from little England. HH

  8. Linda Bennett

    May I use this for our newsletter? – lol.

  9. I was in full belly laugh while reading this post!! I have read that research shows that adults laugh about 10 times a day as compared to children who laugh around 50+ times a day. Well, here is my +1 for today. I love reading your post, keep em coming!

  10. Thanks John, hope you hit ten.

  11. zoomrr69

    WE are One
    we explore
    we discover
    we recover
    we receive our Bounty
    We find thingz
    we are illumated for
    we see that which otherz do not…
    run and hide or get lost…
    We will hunt you down
    we will find you…
    Whether on the beaches…
    vancant lots or tot lots..
    we are coming for you…
    By the burnt out building and in the yards…
    We Get EM all……
    expect us…behind every blade of grass WE await ya…
    We know…….
    We saw…
    We are One….

  12. coin25...aka Bigtony

    Dick, I enjoyed the read as usual, thanks for the laughs. Yeah we accumulate plenty of stuff in our hobbies. I wonder why they make folks buy detectors with about ten other items as a package deal? After all how many diggers or hats does one need? Then I wonder how would I find my camo pin pointer if I lost it? Beats the hell out of me.

    Oh by the way, I owned a Garett Freedom Ace Three – dam thing took 3 nine volts but it went deep. Too bad I let it go..

  13. I saw a video on YouTube of a guy who would walk around and would begin to shake whenever metal was buried under him. Now, that’s bare necessities!

  14. Art Cavaliere

    Boy did I get a good laugh out of this …right on Mr. stout

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