The Latest from the Saloon…

Decided to post the latest from the Malamute Saloon here on the main page of the blog.   You already know John’s warm and endearing qualities so enjoy.



Some of you newbies will have arrived here out of sheer of curiosity I dare say – morbid or otherwise – others will have been shepherded to the Malamute Saloon by very second-rate, down-market, archaeo-bloggers, who want you to experience how a real blog is run and written; one where self-deprecating humour rules and where absolutely no-one has their heads stuck up their arses. Read the intro to this section of Stout Standards and you’ll get the drift of what to expect…if that’s not to your liking then you’d be well advised to ‘Foxtrot Oscar’ immediately.

You can almost always find John Howland on the beach (if not there check the closest pub)

You can almost always find John Howland on the beach (if not there check the closest pub)

Herein, as you’ll discover, we defend our excellent, educational, and wholesome hobby and give full support to the UK’s Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS), which, unlike the heavily discredited Artefact Erosion Counter (AEC) – no doubt spawned by Wyborowa and Wincarnis-fuelled scribblings on the back of a beermat in a downtown Warsaw speak-easy – the PAS’s database has solid foundations and has proved its worth time and again as the launch pad for countless academic theses and formal studies. To date, no one has yet based any formal academic study based on the admitted guesswork upon which the AEC is founded.

We at Malamute Saloon are avid and unapologetic defenders of coin and relic collectors, and coin and relic collections, both private and public. Neither is this a forum for debate. If you don’t like what we stand for, then bugger off back to the twerps who sent you here; but I know you’ll return.

Contrary to what the hare-brained numpties on the fringe of the archaeological world profess is ‘The Truth’ (more correctly their Truth) herein you’ll find the facts…not the gangrenous propagandist claptrap of the hard Left – mostly driven by washed-up, peripatetic sock-puppets of Polish Communism – but good old fashioned, common-sense and fair play. We do not believe that private property (or collections) should ever be grabbed and state-owned. Ours, in the UK at least, is a property-owning democracy and long may that continue. You disagree? Then North Korea is your Shangri-La.

The Malamute Saloon is the metal detecting blog the nutters and psychos on the fringe of radical archaeology hate the most and I am arguably, the most hated detectorist, writer, and an author of the lot. Why? Because I/we fight my/our corner; take no prisoners, and continually shred their specious arguments against metal detecting and collecting. Mostly though, we ignore them, as entering into debate with the kind of souls who pull wings off flies is a futile endeavour. Nevertheless these are the kinds of people archaeology allows itself to be represented by – without comment – and who are …frit, yes, frit, to rein them in. Small wonder so many people regard some UK archaeologists as …gutless shysters.

Simultaneously as detectorists are being berated by the loony fringe for all manner of heritage ills, hundreds of thousands of unrecorded and unclassified artefacts from so-called ‘proper’ archaeological excavations are languishing unloved in sheds and hangers across the British Isles. The scandal of the archaeological record is a shambles unlike the database of the Portable Antiquities Scheme now nearing to record its one millionth artefact on its infinitely valuable database, of which the overwhelming majority of its records are detector-found pieces. The current outrage is not of detectorists’ making but of archaeology’s own, prompting the serious question of whether the nation’s heritage ought to be left in, or indeed is safe in, the hands of archaeology. On present form, it’s unfit for purpose.

Incredibly, archaeological finds are normally NOT RECORDED on the PAS database – though they are encouraged to do so. The loss of vital archaeological data is incalculable. Vitally heritage data has gone down the drain; lost forever by the UK’s bumbling excavators who as the evidence shows, don’t know their arses from their elbows. Even the most vitriolic of anti-detecting evangelists and archaeo-bloggers, Paul Barford, was inspired to write, “The problem, however, is one that affects museums throughout the British Isles.” I doubt there will be a public enquiry into the scandal. There never is… when arkies are involved.

So there you have it…the stall is set out…take it or leave it…but I know you’ll come back.

Welcome to the Malamute Saloon.


Here’s one for the propaganda sock-puppets…

Celebrity and secrets don’t go together. The bastards will get you in the end….George Michael

I’ll see y’all in the bar….


1 Comment

Filed under Metal Detecting

One response to “The Latest from the Saloon…

  1. supernova1c

    I’ll be back John and thank you for the support 🙂

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