Musings From Across the Pond…

Since I seem to get myself in trouble of late, I will turn this post over to the kind-hearted and sweet John Howland, the old (and usually soused) Brit who lives in the South of England…

Marilyn

 

Hope you all get out detecting this weekend and find a few keepers….

 

(UN)COMMON(?) LANGUAGE

Whenever I’m Stateside I’m nearly always a vague source of fascination (and amusement, I suspect) for the people who work in shops, stores, and bars. For example:

Me: “May I have a pack of cigars please?”

Shoplady, shouting into the stockroom: “Hey, Thelma, getcha ass out here!”

Thelma appears: “Hi”

Shoplady: “Could you repeat that please?”

Me: “May I have a pack of cigars please?”

Thelma and Shoplady in unison: “Wow, so polite. We just lurve you Australians.”

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In a bar….

Barman: “Hi, what can I getcha?”

Me (having learned they don’t do ‘pints’): “A large beer please”

Barman; “Sure, coming up”

Barman, plonking a large glass of cold beer on the bar: “You like our beer?”

Me: “Sure do”

Barman: “What, better than your Aussie stuff? Anything else I can getcha?”

Me: “Where can I find the fags?” Silence falls across the bar.

Barman: “Huh? Fags?”

Me: “Yep, I’m gasping for one.” Two guys on stools slowly move away to the other end of bar.

Barman: “Gasping?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m right out. Watcha got? Winston Soft Packs?”

Barman (along with the two guys at the end of the bar look very relieved): “Oh Right! Fags yeah. Guess that’s Australian for cigarettes, huh? ”

Dick appears from the Gent’s toilet and catches the last part of the exchange.

Dick whispers conspiratorially to the Barman. Both look sideways in my direction. Barman nods. “Ah, English.”

Five minutes later…

Me to Dick: “What does ‘dumb arse’ mean?”

I never found out what it means, or its connection with the fruit of the Lime tree.

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SOUNDS A BIT RUDE TO ME

I found this phrase on John Hooker’s excellent blog as part of a larger comment by someone from Dallas, Texas:-

“[…] negative Jungian state known as Enantiodromia. […]”

Well, that’s easy for you to say Dick. Now try it without a glass of Merlot. Enantiodromia? Sounds like something the Doc prescribes to get yer bowels moving.

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THE PINOCCHIO SYNDROME, OR, SOMEONE’S PULLING YOUR STRINGS…

The Council for British Archaeology (CBA) says on its website that archaeology:-

“[…] provides graduates with skills in problem-solving, data analysis, report writing, independent and logical thinking, group work, understanding statistics, public presentations, lateral thinking (that is being able to make connections between seemingly unrelated types of information), and many other key skills.”

Hmmm. Fine sentiments indeed. Presumably then, these skills are widespread?

However, when it comes to the aforementioned,“data analysis, report writing, independent and logical thinking, group work, understanding statistics,” and so on ad nauseum, these ‘skills’ are rarer than rocking-horse shit on a couple of blogs ostensibly populated by people claiming to be ‘archaeologists’ and/or ‘heritologists.’

Displaying a total lack of what the CBA reckons makes for good archaeology, “data analysis, report writing, independent and logical thinking, group work, understanding statistics,” one blog has what it reckons is an Artefact Erosion Counter; a ludicrous, home-brewed propagandist monstrosity, where, “data analysis” is nothing more than guesswork masquerading as fact. Even more derisory is that the CBA actually demonstrates its own grasp of, “data analysis, report writing, independent and logical thinking, group work, understanding statistics,” by giving a tacit thumbs up to this farcical AEC nonsense.

So much then for…” problem-solving, data analysis, report writing, independent and logical thinking, group work, understanding statistics, public presentations, lateral thinking (that is being able to make connections between seemingly unrelated types of information), and many other key skills.” Archaeology will never be taken seriously whilst it propagates dual standards; claims to be a science yet supports AEC-style rabid guesswork; whilst simultaneously denigrating metal detectorists for the very kind of inaccuracy on which the AEC is founded. Not much “logical thinking” nor “understanding statistics” in evidence there you might think. The only excuse for the CBA’s collusion with the Nabobs of Nonsense must surely be they didn’t fully grasp the depth of drivel involved. Not much “logical thinking” nor “understanding statistics” in evidence there you might think.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK at this behaviour, for these are precisely the sort of people active in archaeology who want to grab more and more of your rights, but want to be trusted with the accurate recording of the archaeological record. Take a good look and decide what you think about that as “archaeological policy”.

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THE TRUTH LIVES HERE

By contrast over on the UK’s Portable Antiquities Scheme website (a factual database), they have this to say:-

“Over the last 15 years more than 920,000 archaeological finds have been recorded by the British Museum’s Portable Antiquities Scheme for the advancement of archaeological knowledge. In the same period over 8,500 finds have been reported as Treasure, enabling the most important finds to be acquired by museums across the country.  In 2012, 73,903 finds were recorded by the PAS, and 990 Treasure cases reported.”

If only something similar could be brought into being in the US….

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MORE FACTS

Dear Mr Howland

English Heritage supports the Portable Antiquities Scheme (PAS), is represented on it’s Advisory Committee, endorses the Code of Practice for Responsible Metal-Detecting in England and Wales, and the English Heritage logo appears on the back of the printed version of the Code.  As an organisation English Heritage recognises the contribution that Responsible Detectorists, who report their finds and findspots through the PAS have made, and are continuing to make, to our understanding of our past.

I hope this helps, we would be delighted to welcome you as a member. Please do let me know if I can be of any assistance [phone number and address deleted to prevent ‘trolls’]

Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Yours sincerely

[Name deleted as above]

Customer Services

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” never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell”…Harry S. Truman

________________________________________pirateflag

I’ll see y’all in the bar!

************

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1 Comment

Filed under Metal Detecting

One response to “Musings From Across the Pond…

  1. A bit too early on a Saturday morning for me to comprehend all the adjectives, but I get the idea.

    Sometimes I’m actually glad we don’t find Viking hoards randomly buried in fields in this country. Its so much easier to just pop a copper in my pouch and search on.

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