Camouflaged to Death!

There’s a Bass Pro shop just across the lake from me, and I like to shop there for clothing, shoes and the like. Well I was in there the other day and thought I would be eaten alive by all the camouflage. I have never seen so much of it in my life.

camochairFirst there was the rocker recliner. It not only came in camouflage, but in four different shades!  Now if you happen to have one of these in your living room please excuse my sarcasm, but who the hell are you hiding from in your house?  The wife? The kids?

Next, if you happen to get stuck babysitting during hunting season you can simply take the kiddo along, because Bass Pro sells camo baby bottles and baby clothes to match.

All this got me wondering if there was a house somewhere painted in camouflage, and I soon found the answer when I came across cans of camouflage house paint.


Why they even had camo light switch plates, rope, baby pacifiers, dinnerware for the home, flip flops, “kiss my bass” boxer shorts for the ladies and if you absolutely need to go hunting on Sunday morning you can score a few points by getting your sweetie a pink camo studded cross Bible case!

There was no doubt in my mind that if they sold mens suits there would be more than a few in camo.

And I thought I had seen it all but on my way out of the store I noticed a display of……come on, take a guess?


Does that mean they have camo toilet seats too?



Well the Bubba caught me by surprise with his latest contribution to the Malamute Saloon.  I knew he was up on United States history (probably even more so than I) but he  is apparently a big fan of the twenties & thirties, and in particular the “gangster” era. His latest story about Dutch Schultz ought to appeal to Big Tony from Bayonne, but I hesitate to  bring him into all this. He probably has a few family members involved in the storyline….

If you are interested in searching for $50 million in gold coins, jewelry & cash, be sure to check out John’s latest by clicking on the Malamute Saloon link above and scrolling down to today’s date!



Filed under Metal Detecting

7 responses to “Camouflaged to Death!

  1. When my daughter was little, we’d see a manikin dressed in a camo shirt, and I’d pretend I couldn’t see the shirt: “Look, Karen, a head floating there!” She’d giggle, and we still play that little game. (She’s 29 now.)

    So how can you buy camo stuff if you can’t see it? Isn’t that the purpose, after all?

    —Dan Hughes,

    • Dan, I am not a camo guy at all but apparently it’s the “in thing” for the tekkie as well as the hunter.

      • I can see camo when metal detecting, simply to hide from the public as much as possible. I want to be left alone, and if I’m harder to see so much the better. That’s why I can’t believe Garrett made bright yellow detectors – they scream for attention!

      • I don’t know. I just don’t like the idea of trying to hide. Just something wrong with that…

  2. Robbie

    Being inconspicuous is one thing but trying to hide on purpose???? It’s ok if your hunting for your food.. But camo toilet paper..why not brown bear shi* colored or rabbit pellet spotted………don’t think anyone brings used stuff home to throw THAT away.

  3. You’re right Robbie….just imagine being caught short in the woods after a particularly hot chilli, putting down the cammo toilet roll beside you among the leaves, and then not being able to find it. It’s too awful to contemplate. And then discovering all you’ve got is $20 bill.

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